Disgrace and Desire(44)

So you would throw away your chance of happiness. The demon in her head would not be silenced. Do you think he can love you, once you have shattered his opinion of Tony and destroyed his friendship with Alex? You have only to keep quiet and you can all be happy.

‘No. I will not lie to him.’

‘I beg your pardon, my lady?’

Eloise started, blushing as she realised she had spoken aloud.

‘Nothing, Alice.’ She pushed herself out of the chair. Suddenly she felt desperately tired. ‘It is time for bed, I think.’





Chapter Eighteen


A sleepless night did nothing to relieve Eloise’s depression, but neither did it shake her resolve to tell Jack everything. And once the truth was out, she doubted very much if he would want her for his wife.

She dressed quickly and dashed off a note to Alex, telling him that the diary had been destroyed and asking him to call. She sent her groom to deliver the message and remained at the window, watching, until his return.

‘Well,’ she demanded, ‘did he send me an answer?’

Perkins tugged his forelock.

‘Mr Alex says to give you his regards, m’lady, but I’m to tell you that he is gone out with Major Clifton and he will see you at Keworth House tonight.’ The groom nodded, smiling. ‘I must say it is good to see Master Alex looking so well, ma’am. Left off his sling, he has, but he is still using a cane.’ He winked at her. ‘He’ll do his best to put that aside before he has to walk you to the altar and give you away, I’ll be bound!’

‘That is enough of your insolence, Perkins, you may go now!’

Eloise hunched her shoulder and turned away from the groom’s knowing grin. That was the problem with having retainers one had known since childhood, they were more like family than servants. Her irritation died away: at least she would still have Perkins and Alice to keep her company in her lonely future. She put a hand up to her cheek, her dilemma growing greater the more she considered it. By confessing everything to Jack she could lose Alex’s friendship, too, once he realised she had divulged the truth.

These depressing thoughts combined with her fears that Deforge might discover the theft and call upon her. She tried to stay calm, telling herself that there was no longer any danger, but she knew that Deforge was capable of revenging himself upon those who moved against him. Jack might have removed some of Sir Ronald’s henchmen, but there would be others. Her anxiety made the day one of the longest Eloise had ever spent and it was with some relief when the time came to change her dress and order her carriage to take her to the Keworths’ card party.

‘Shall I be coming with you, m’lady?’ asked Perkins, when she descended the stairs, the candles glinting from the diamond cluster at her neck and the tiny diamond drops hanging from her ears.

Eloise looked at the groom as he stood before her, twisting his cap in his hands. She had received no word from Jack or Alex all day, and at that moment Perkins seemed to be her only friend in the world.

‘Yes, if you please,’ she nodded. ‘Jump up on the back and stay with the carriage.’





Keworth House was ablaze with light when the Allyngham town coach rumbled up to the door. Reluctantly she prepared to alight. She had no idea what Jack was planning. He had asked her to trust him and she would do so, but once this was over she knew he would ask her to marry him, and she would have to tell him the truth. In her imagination she saw the blaze of desire die from his eyes, to be replaced by a look of revulsion. It could not be avoided. Better now than in the future.

A light drizzle was falling. She put up her hood and grasped her cloak about her, glad that the chill night air gave her some excuse for her trembling. However, once she was inside the house there was no escape: she was obliged to straighten her shoulders and make her way to the main salon, no sign of her inner anxiety showing in her face.

The news of her betrothal was still the talk of the town and there were more congratulations to be endured as she made her way up the grand staircase. She was relieved to move into the candle-lit salon where dozens of little tables had been set up and nothing more than a gentle murmur disturbed the players who were intently studying their cards. Lord and Lady Keworth were renowned for their card parties. In the past Eloise had always declined their invitations because she found nothing to amuse her in games of chance, but looking around the room she realised how few of her acquaintance shared her view, for the cream of society was seated around the room.

‘We are delighted to have you join us tonight, Lady Allyng-ham,’ her hostess beamed. ‘We are very fortunate to have so many friends here tonight.’ Lady Keworth bent an arch smile towards Lord Berrow, who was passing at that moment. ‘You, too, are a veritable stranger to our little parties, my lord.’

Unable to ignore his hostess, the Earl stopped and gave a little bow.

‘It is unfortunate that I am so often otherwise engaged…’

Lady Keworth laughed and tapped his arm.

‘Well, I am very glad that you are not engaged elsewhere this evening, sir, especially when we have such delightful company.’ She glanced towards Eloise, gave her an encouraging smile then turned away to greet another guest.

Lord Berrow looked around him, clearly uncomfortable to be left in Lady Allyngham’s company. She held out her hand to him.

‘My lord, I am glad we have met: I wanted to thank you personally for allowing me to buy Ainsley Wood. It was very generous of you.’

His lordship flushed.

‘Oh, yes, well,’ he muttered, ‘it is in a good cause, after all.’

‘Indeed it is, sir,’ she replied warmly. ‘When the trustees are drawing up their records I shall make sure your generosity is recognised.’

With an inward smile she watched him puff out his chest.

‘Oh, no need for that, dear lady,’ he said, looking considerably more cheerful. ‘We must all do a little something for those less fortunate, eh?’

He gave a fat chuckle and looked as if he would say more but Sir Ronald’s voice cut across the room.

‘Ah, and here is my lovely bride. Come along over here, my dear, and join us.’

Play was suspended as everyone’s eyes were fixed upon Eloise. Not by a flicker did she betray her nerves. She nodded to Lord Berrow and moved across to Sir Ronald. He was sitting at a table with several other gentlemen, including his host and Mr Edward Graham. Lord Keworth rose and began to offer Eloise his chair but Sir Ronald waved at him.

‘Sit ye down, sir. Lady Allyngham ain’t one for cards, are you, my dear?’ He reached out and caught her wrist, pulling her closer. ‘She will stand beside me, my lucky charm.’

‘Damme, sir, I think you may need it,’ laughed Mr Graham, giving Eloise a good-natured bow. ‘There are a number of gamesters here tonight, ma’am, some of ’em quite reckless. The game is bassett, you know: I fear the play will be very deep.’

She glanced around at them all and managed a smile.

‘Then pray be seated, gentlemen and go on with your game. Sir Ronald is quite correct, I am more than happy to observe the play, if you will let me.’

‘Bless you, my lady, of course you may watch,’ declared Lord Keworth, picking up his cards. ‘Though tedious work you may find it. Once Deforge has his mind on the cards, nothing will sway him!’

Lord Keworth was right; Eloise found it very dull standing at Sir Ronald’s shoulder while he played. Cards were taken and discarded, wagers were made and she found herself surprised at the high stakes. Glancing around the room, she realised that although the players at every table were doing their best to win, none had the intensity of those pitting their skill against Sir Ronald.

A light-hearted game of quadrille was just breaking up and she used the diversion to move away. As she did so Lady Parham beckoned to her.

‘My dear Lady Allyngham, I was so sorry to miss Sir Ronald’s little soirée.’ She glanced at the diamond winking on Eloise’s finger. ‘It was such a surprise to hear that you are to be married, and to Sir Ronald, too.’ She hesitated before giving another of her thin smiles. ‘I had not thought him one of your particular favourites.’

Silently Eloise inclined her head and moved to pass on but Lady Parham stepped in front of her.

‘I had thought Mr Mortimer had the advantage, especially since you have known him for so long. He is your neighbour at Allyngham, is he not? It must have been such a comfort to have him so close while your husband was away.’

The implication was plain. Eloise realised she had played her part as the wanton widow far too well. She replied evenly, ‘Mr Mortimer has always been a very good friend, Lady Parham.’

‘And what does he think of your betrothal to Sir Ronald?’ The sly look that accompanied these words angered Eloise, but at that moment there was a distraction at the door. She looked up.

‘You had best ask him that yourself, ma’am,’ she said, smiling in relief and surprise as she watched Alex limp into the room with Jack close behind him. Until that moment it seemed to Eloise that she had hardly been breathing. Now her heart swelled with pride and pleasure as the two gentlemen greeted their hostess. Alex was looking a little pale and leaning heavily upon a cane. Jack, standing tall and dark beside him, looked at the peak of fitness. Surely there was nothing to fear while she had two such champions.