Discovering Dalton(9)

It was well past closing time and Dalton planned on calling out his apologies for staying late, but when he’d glanced in to check it was Liam, not one of the other men he’d seen earlier in the weight room, he’d turned to stone and his feet seemed to be encased in concrete.

All he could do was stay there and watch as Liam displayed his perfect body against those dark tiles. His tanned skin all wet, the water running over him. How he was breathing, how his lips had fallen open, the moans spilling from them. Dalton punched the steering wheel, his knuckles instantly filling with pain.

He should have turned and left him alone, but he was close. Dalton felt his body react seeing Liam’s cock in his fists, long and rigid, thick and pulsing as he climbed higher, edging closer to his orgasm. It ripped through every inch of Liam as Dalton watched, amazed by how beautiful the scene before him was. How Liam arched his back, thrusting into his fists, the jets of cream shooting over the floor. Dalton had been close himself seeing such a private moment. A moment which he’d been wrong to take part in. He was nothing but a disgusting pervert for watching. What had he become?

He’d never be able to show his face in there again. He’d die of embarrassment before he could explain anything to Liam. It was a mistake. An innocent mistake, that was all. He hadn't meant to see him jerking off. And why in hell was he doing that in the public cubicle anyway? Surely, like Dalton had done, Liam should have chosen a private one.

Dalton loved coming in the shower. That’s why he’d taken so Goddamn long in there. He had to come. The sudden thought ran through him maybe Liam had seen him. The glass wasn’t exactly private. It distorted your body, but if you tried hard enough you could see the shape of the person inside. Dalton noticed this over the months he’d been attending. Being fearful other men would see his body as he showered after his workout, he made sure to stand well back from the glass just in case.

The thought of Liam seeing him jerking off made his cock twitch and pulse in his jeans and he grew even angrier. He was just sex starved. As Kelly pointed out, it had been three years since they'd done the deed, and Dalton had been fine when he lived on in his denial regarding it, but now it had been pointed out and they discussed it in painstaking detail, well, all Dalton had been thinking about was sex. Ironic now he was thinking and needing it, Kelly didn’t.

The thirty minute drive back to their house allowed him time to cool off and calm down. He kept repeating his mantra in his mind.

It was just sex. An act I needed to take part in. Any visual stimuli was bound to affect me.

He was sure two dogs getting it on would make him think about fucking someone, so seeing someone he knew, someone whose body he admired, someone who he respected… The whole situation was wrong. Maybe that’s what turned him on, knowing he shouldn’t be there. It was a private situation and he was spying on a friend in a moment of solitude. Maybe it was simply down to the fact it was a man. That it was…wrong?

Dalton pulled up outside his house, switching off the engine and just sitting there for a few moments while he considered that question. No, he didn’t consider it wrong for a man to be with another man. How could he? He was fully supportive of same sex relationships and held no derogatory thoughts about anyone who fell in love, or simply desired someone of the same sex. But… actually being there, getting turned on by another man…

Dalton closed his eyes. It was just sex. The fact you got hard watching another man just means you need to have sex. It wasn’t him, it was just seeing someone enjoying something sexual and it turned you on.

“Dalton?”

He jumped, looking out of the window and seeing Kelly.

“You okay? You’ve been in there for ten minutes.”

“I'm fine.” Dalton opened the door. “I'm just worn out. I ran for an hour on the treadmill.”

“Right.” Kelly wasn’t buying it for a moment. She could read him like an old book, and she shook her head. “Okay, don’t tell me.”

“Just leave it, Kelly.” Dalton was locking the car and heading for the house when he tripped over something, catching himself on the bonnet of the car before he turned to look down. His eyes widened when he saw the pull along suitcase by her feet. “You're leaving?”

“We talked about this. It’s for the best.” Kelly sighed as she moved to him, holding his hand in hers. “Casting aside everything else to do with us, I still can't change the fact I fell in love with someone else. I'm not going to him, not now. I'm going to my mum’s. I'm going to take some time by myself and think about everything. I don’t want to mess you around or give you hope, Dalton. I think this could be good for you too.”

Dalton shook his head, the vise around his chest tightening as she leaned up and kissed him.

“I love you. I always will, and I'm always going to be here for you. Just like I hope you'll be here for me. Maybe not now, but in the future?” Her warm eyes met his and he nodded slowly, unable to talk. “This is a good thing for us. I know it is. We can't continue lying to each other like we have been doing, and although I love being your friend, I want more than that in my life.”

“I'm sorry.” Dalton looked to the floor, picking up her case for want of anything else to do, keeping his gaze hidden from her sceptical view as they walked to her car. “I've not made you happy, and I'm disappointed in myself for that.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault, Love. Don’t blame yourself. We’re just… incompatible.”

“But we’re not.” Dalton flashed his gaze back to her and she wiped the lone tear he couldn’t stop from spilling out of his stupid eyes. “We get along so well.”

“I meant incompatible in other areas, Dalton.” She smiled softly. “I, erm, called Milo.”

“No!” Dalton stood back, clasping his fists to his sides. “No. Why?”

“You won't talk to anyone. You need friends and… I really think Milo could help you, you know… see things differently maybe.”

“What the fuck have you told him? How messed up I am? That I can't fuck you? That I'm gay?”

Kelly kissed him, hugging him tightly. “I never said you were gay, Dalton. Not even to you.”

Dalton stepped back from her, taking a deep breath then grabbing her case and stuffing it into the boot. “Is this… Is this it? Are you never coming back?”

“I’ll come back. I'm your friend. I want to stay your friend. I just… I can't do this, Dalton.” Her heavy lids dropped, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Neither of us deserve to live like this. If we were really happy with our marriage, then I'd stay. Sex isn’t the only reason I'm leaving and you know that. I want children, Dalton. I've always wanted them.”

“We could have had kids. I never said I didn’t want them.”

“Dalton… a baby isn’t a Band Aid. It can't heal us. I can't bring a baby into the world like this.” Kelly opened the door, slipping into her seat and wiping her eyes. “I'm not far away. You know where I am if you need me. I’ll be in touch next week and we can meet up and talk again.” She looked up at him after buckling her seatbelt. “I asked Milo to come round tonight.”

“I hate you’ve done that.” Dalton felt an inferno pass through him at the thought of Milo, and more than likely, Danny and Samuel knowing what was happening.

“You need him.”

“I don’t need anyone.” Dalton stormed off, slamming the front door shut before slipping down it and hiding his face in his arms.

He’d never been alone. He’d always had someone with him. Even though he knew Kelly was leaving, he hadn't thought it would really ever happen. He thought they would work it out. The past week seemed to have made things better, but ultimately nothing had changed. Why he was so desperate to cling onto a relationship which wasn’t working, or to a person who was in love with someone else, bugged him. Was he so insecure, so desperate he would take anyone rather than be alone?

The house was in darkness when the first knock came. Dalton sat still, knowing it was Milo just by the severity of his knuckles connecting to the wood. He hadn't moved from the hallway, still leaning back against the front door.

“Dalton. I know you're in there, so I'm giving you two minutes to open this door or I call in a few favours and get someone to knock it through.”

Dalton shook his head, knowing Milo would totally do that. He wasn’t going away. Better to get it over with and convince him everything was okay. “Just a second.”

He stood up, opening the door and seeing Milo in full uniform, squad car parked in the drive. His dark hair was loose and hanging on his collar, and the pissed off expression on his face didn’t hide how Milo was feeling right then. His dark eyes were focused so determinedly on Dalton’s, he shivered a little and stepped back, beckoning for Milo to join him in the house. “Just finished your shift?” Stupid question. All the ‘clues’ were there Milo had driven straight from work, and using the squad car showed how desperate he was to get to Dalton.

“Hmm.” Milo took off his cap, hanging it on the rack beside him as he slid a sardonic glare Dalton’s way regarding the obviously idiotic question, but other than that, Milo let it slide. “Yeah. Lates all week. So…” Milo turned, arms folded across his broad chest, dark hair falling around his face as he looked down at Dalton. “She’s fucked off then? Bout time. Why the hell it took this long to happen I have no idea. The moment I found out she’d been fucking around she’d have been out of the door.” Milo stood perfectly still, not shifting his gaze from Dalton’s. It was Milo’s, ‘I know you’ve got something to say and you're not going to, so I'm going to stand here and make you piss your pants until I get it from you’ look.