Discovering Dalton(52)

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

It had been two days since Dalton last spoke to Liam. He thought it would feel like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but instead, he felt worse. “I'm just tired from all the packing up at my dad’s place. It’s been emotional.” That wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t the truth either, but Troy hugged him and Dalton melted into his arms. “I'm sorry I'm so… I'm not the best company, and I understand I'm… If this is too difficult for you—”

“It’s not.” Troy was the only person in Dalton’s life who he could talk to, and although Dalton wanted to be with him, the need to be elsewhere was also there.

He missed Liam, and knowing they wouldn’t be the same, they wouldn’t have the closeness or the type of friendship they used to have was difficult.

“Tell me his name.” Troy tilted Dalton’s face, those big green eyes, so deep and understanding, melted his walls and Dalton sighed. “I’ve seen that look before too many times to recall, Dalton. Just tell me if I should be running, because how you feel right now, I don’t want to feel in the near future because you’ve gone back to him.”

“It’s not what you think. You know I've not been seeing anyone, it’s just a friend. A good friend, someone who… He’s the guy who started this whole new life changing experience for me. He’s the one I told you about.”

“Right. So, what happened?” Troy sat on his stool, looking up at Dalton as he leaned against the wall.

“It was just casual, not my thing, but I had no idea what to do, and just went with it. It was all new, and he was… he’s…”

“Hot?”

“Yeah, he's hot.” Dalton frowned at himself and Troy smiled softly. “That’s not what attracted me to him, it was everything else. He was there for me through all this. I turned to him when I couldn’t go to anyone else and he cared for me.”

Troy folded his arms across his chest and nodded. “By caring, you mean sexual stuff or just talks?”

Dalton shrugged. “It started off with talking.”

“So, why was it a fuck buddy thing in the first place if you don’t do that sort of thing?”

“He doesn’t have relationships. He was truthful about that. I was… he wanted to be my first.” Dalton smirked recalling how turned on they’d both been when Liam growled out those words. “I wanted that too, but then I wasn’t ready for more and everything seemed okay to explore those feelings with him, but I'm not that type of person and when I met you, when we connected, it felt wrong to see you both.” He held up his hands and smiled. “I don’t want to add pressure onto you, this is just how I felt. I felt like I was cheating on you both, and the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt either of you. I know this between us isn’t anywhere near sorted out, and I'm not sure how you feel about me and my outdated ideas of dating, but it didn’t feel right.”

Troy stood up, hovering close to him before leaning and kissing Dalton, winding his arms around his waist and sighing when they parted. Every kiss with Troy was an experience Dalton couldn’t get enough of. He wanted to climb inside his skin and be part of him. “Do you regret it? Ending things with him, I mean?”

“I regret I've lost a friend.”

“Why have you lost him if he was up for this fuck buddy thing? Surely if he’s playing the field, you can still be in touch?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to think right now. I sent him texts, checking up on him, but he’s ignored them. I called in to see him at work, but he wasn’t there. I don’t know if I've caused him to disappear or if it’s just a coincidence.”

“Is there something else between you?”

“Like what?”

“Dalton, you care for him. A lot.”

Dalton sighed, stepping from Troy’s arms and looking at his feet. “I care, of course I care, and he said it was returned, but he didn’t want a relationship.”

“Did you?” Troy’s voice was a little higher and Dalton turned back, catching the hesitation and hurt in those expressive eyes.

“Hey.” He took Troy into his arms and held him. “I went to him because of what I want from us. Yeah, I care, and if he’d wanted to try and we hadn't met… I’m with you.”

“I don’t want to be your second choice, Dalton.”

“You're not. You're no one’s second choice. You're want what I want, and we may not be there yet, but we both want that to grow between us. I wanted to try, Troy. I wanted to see if what we feel when we’re together can become what I think it can. I'm not made of stone. I care about him because we had a close relationship. I just… I owe him a lot.”

“He didn’t want you like me. I know men like him, Dalton. Fuck, I live with one.” Troy chuckled softly. “I have first-hand experience in this and I know players. He was up front about it, which means something, and maybe the guy’s not a complete prick, but come on, he’s not moping at home without you. He's probably out, making up for lost time by fucking something shiny he picked up on Canal Street. Don’t waste your energy on him. Sure, be friends if that can work out, but I don’t think you should trust his intentions where you're concerned, Dalton.”

“You don’t know him. If you did… He's a good guy, Troy. I know you’ve had shitty times with men, but he’s not one of them. He was… he was a friend and I respect him.”

Troy stepped back, this time glaring into his eyes, studying him. “Maybe you should be with him.” He spun around, attempting to walk off, but Dalton grabbed his arm.

“I'm with you.”

“No.” Troy shook his hold off and stepped into the hallway. “You’ve not been here all night, Dalton. You’ve been with him, in there.” He tapped Dalton’s chest with his fingertip and Dalton took hold of his hand and squeezed. “I'm not ready for all this hurt. I don’t want it, and I'm not willing to keep thinking of more with you when you're in love with someone else.”

“I’m not in love.” Dalton’s mouth snapped shut. “I'm not. I never said… I'm not in love. That’s not love. What we had, it wasn’t love, Troy.”

Troy leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. “Why is nothing in my life ever simple?”

“The simple things are never what we really want.” Dalton caressed his cheek, kissing those succulent lips, teasing them both with a slow, sensual embrace. “How I want you, how I need you, I shouldn’t feel like this so quickly, but, Troy, there's something between us. I know there is, and I'm here, asking you to give me a chance. I know I'm not an easy case, I know I have issues and this is bad timing for us both, but I'm right here with you, and I'm ready to be whatever you need me to be and give you anything you want. All I'm asking for is a chance to see if this could work out. Just one chance.”

Troy met his gaze, green eyes hazy, chest rising and falling too fast. “Dalton, things with me, they never work out. I don’t know why, maybe in time you'll see, and if you do, tell me what it is before you leave, huh? That way I know for later.” He grinned at Dalton. “I want to try. You know I do. I'm holding off so much with you. I always move too fast and I don’t want that to happen with us, but it’s fucking difficult.”

“You think I don’t share those feelings?”

“You care for this other guy, Dalton, I don’t know if you realise just how much you care for him, but if we try this out, I don’t want you and him to be too close. You know, not at first, not until things have settled down between us and I have some trust there. I don’t just mean you, I’d need to trust him too. I'm not okay with sharing and I'm not okay with him using you.”

“He didn’t use me.” Dalton huffed. “Look, I'm good with easing off for a bit. Obviously he needs this space and I guess I should try to keep some distance while everything settles down. I want you to trust me, and I’ll earn that trust in time, but he’s a friend, and I'd like to keep him in my life. I know you don’t trust me, or probably anyone right now, but I swear you will do.”

“That will be a first. There’s only one person I trust left on this earth, and Dalton… He’s gonna hate you.”

“I’ll win him around.” Dalton kissed Troy again, and then grinned. “Besides, isn’t it what you want which is important in life?” Dalton was still peed off about Liam’s foster brother. He chose someone else’s happiness over any Dalton and Liam could have found, and it cut Dalton deep in his chest. “I’ll show him how much I'm going to look after you.”

“You think I need looking after, blondie?”

“What I do know without question, is I want to look after you, Troy.”





Chapter 33



Dalton had just arrived home from an afternoon appointment with the counsellor at work, when a knock at the front door spoiled his plans for a relaxing bath. He was feeling more upbeat, and the counsellor agreed with him. There was another session planned, then she was going to chat with him and Milo about returning to work. It would probably be on lighter duties, but Dalton was edgy and needed to do something other than sort through his dad’s house.