Discovering Dalton(49)
Dalton lifted his head abruptly and met his eyes. “The Crescents?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Liam lowered his gaze to the plate of food and sighed. The Hulme was a selection of high rise flats built in the 1970s and supposed to be the alternative to the slums the working class of Manchester were living in at the time, and probably in the 70s, they were awesome, but years of people abusing them and the council not putting any money into them, well, they became the slums. Liam remembered them being cold and stinking of damp. Nothing ever worked and no one came to fix anything when it was reported.
It was the place all the unwanted members of society went and if you couldn’t get a house anywhere else on benefits, then you got one there. It was the dumping ground for Manchester’s poorest people, and the most anti-social. The police stopped coming because they were called so often and the people were left to fend for themselves.
His block was full of women like his mam, high on drugs, selling themselves to pay for more when the cash ran out. That’s probably how Liam was conceived, one of her paying clients who didn’t wear a condom and he turned up nine months down the line. He never found out who the sperm donor was, and that was more than likely because his mam didn’t even know their name.
There was always a stream of druggies in and out of the flat. It was dirty and stunk of piss and it was full of rats and the biggest cockroaches he’d ever seen. There was nowhere for the kids to play, and if you did dare go out, there were gangs ready to beat you up and take the clothes off your back. Liam once saw a group of ten year olds beating the shit out of an old age pensioner for the small amount of cash he got from the government every week. It was rabid and dangerous and Liam could have been one of those kids if Social Services hadn't taken him away at the age of seven.
“Liam.” Dalton took hold of his hand. “You got out.”
“Yeah, barely. You don’t know how though.” Liam ran his fingers through his hair and sat back. “I wasn’t a good kid, Dee. I’ve got a juvie record as long as my arm. My mum was in and out of the nick all the time, and I was passed around neighbours till she got out. Then the drugs and the fights would start up again. It was my life, and I didn’t know how other people lived until Social Services took me away.
“She was going inside for a long stretch and they had to rehouse me with someone.” Liam laughed. “Shit! The first time I got into a proper house, and it would’ve still been a shit hole compared to where you will have grown up, but to me, it was like a palace. It had clean sheets to sleep on, no rats, no cockroaches climbing over you while you slept, and there were no drugged up people banging on the door, either asking for drugs or demanding money for the ones she’d used and not paid for.”
“Like you said, it was all you knew. You're not to blame. How old were you? They demolished them ages ago, so you had to be young.”
“I was seven when they took me away.”
“Seven, and with a record that long. I'm impressed.”
“Hey, that was short compared to most kids. I was a good lad who stayed out of trouble, you know.” Liam grinned at him.
“You know… I believe you. I've been there. I heard what it was like when I joined the force. Horror stories about going in there.”
“Scarier from the outside, huh?”
“Yeah, you could say that. I don’t blame you for enjoying getting out of there, Liam.”
“I wouldn’t go back to her, to that place, not even when she got out three years later and moved somewhere nicer. Said I'd rather die and ran away four times from her new flat. Eventually she just handed me over to social services and I stayed in foster care. I moved around a lot, but then Terry found me. He took me and T in from the same hostel. We were both trouble causers and he had a firm hand. He sorted us both out. I owe him so much.”
“I bet he was proud of you.”
“Yeah, both of us.” Liam smiled softly remembering him. “See, I talk about stuff.”
“Oh, yeah.” Dalton laughed, those blue eyes sparkling. “Liam, you surprise me all the time.”
“You don’t think you should run off and never speak to me again? I’ve got a record, you know, and you're this upstanding member of the community, a police officer to boot.”
“That was a long time ago. You were a kid. Who you are now is all grown up and from what I know of you, a very upstanding member of the community yourself.”
“Well, thanks.” Liam smirked, his hand still holding Dalton's on the table top. “We should shut up and eat this food or your aunt will be on my tail about wasting food.”
“Does she still bug people about that?”
“Yeah, she made me sit back down and eat everything.” Liam tucked into his beef and grinned. “She’s a pushy one.”
“You can say that again.”
Chapter 30
After dinner, and saying their goodbyes to his uncle and aunt, Dalton suggested they ride to a nearby clearing. He wanted to talk, but having a private conversation with his family hovering around them and butting in every ten minutes wasn’t right, so the peace calmed them both down and they sat on the bench under the night sky, stars above them, the cool air chilling them down from the roaring fire in the pub. They talked briefly when they arrived, and Dalton could tell Liam knew he was playing for time, but he still found the words difficult to voice out loud.
“Liam…”
“Just spit it out, you're killing me here, Dee.” Liam placed an arm around his shoulders.
Dalton leaned into him, despite wanting to keep his head and stay distant while he got his muddled brain to figure out how to phrase the confused thoughts running around in it. “This thing between us… it was all new and a bit… Well, you know what I went through, what I'm still trying to figure out, but it was confusing to say the least, and not just the whole man thing, but meeting someone and it being so different to anything else I’d ever experienced.”
Dalton took a moment to slide his eyes to Liam and found him half smiling, just looking out across the darkness and the fields hidden beneath it. “Well, you and I agreed no relationship, just friends with benefits, and that was…” He sucked in a deep breath. “It wasn’t me. You know I've only been with Kelly, and well, things weren’t high intensity. I thought I could do this. I thought I could give playing the field a go. Do the whole sex thing and nothing more because a relationship, then—and still is—not what I’d been looking for, but… Recently…”
Liam shook him gently before placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “Recently you’ve been thinking about a relationship, or you’ve been thinking of pulling back, which is it?”
Dalton stood up, rubbing his face roughly before looking directly at Liam and going with the easiest option. “You're not into relationships. You’ve made that clear, and you also made it very clear you're not into monogamy and all the other stuff which comes with relationships, so, I guess what I'm saying is… I met someone who is and although neither of us are really ready for a full on relationship, I'm pretty sure if it works out and we both keep moving ahead slowly, it could be good. So… even though what we had wasn’t anything official or anything, I thought I should talk to you. I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing, or even if it’s going to be worth the effort of trying, but what I feel with him, it’s different. He’s… he’s special, Liam.”
Liam sat still, glaring right into Dalton’s eyes. The night and lack of light were hiding a lot of his features, but Dalton would know that silent frown anywhere and he knew Liam was pissed.
“Talk to me, Liam.” Dalton moved closer, not wanting to hurt or anger Liam in any way, but needing this conversation to happen for his own sanity. “What’s happening with us?”
Liam stood up, quickly turning from him and standing looking at his bike on the road, hands on hips, stoic and unemotional. “You met someone? When did this happen? In between your dad’s funeral and you mourning him? Not a good time, Dee. And who the hell is he? Where did you meet him?”
“I know the timing sounds bad, and yes, I get you would think it’s me being fucked up, but how we met, the timing wasn’t exactly great either, Liam. I'm more controlled than I was when we started this whole thing.”
“Who is he?”
“Why does that even matter?” Dalton touched his shoulder, getting a gruff shake before Liam stepped toward his bike, leaving Dalton alone. “Liam, what do you want? What do you really want from me? Because sometimes I get this feeling I'm all you want and you need more, but then I wonder if it’s just the sex you need or me in general. I don’t know what’s going on in your head.”
Liam sat astride his bike, playing with the handlebars and then gave him a sly look out of the corner of his eyes.
“You're not interested in more and I have a chance at maybe finding that with someone else. I've never been the type of person to get involved sexually with someone I don’t feel for, and I feel for you, Liam, I do, but I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know if this is how you treat all your good friends—minus the sexual stuff, obviously, but I mean how you take care of me, how you want to help. These are great qualities. Qualities I admire and respect, I owe you a lot, more than I can say right now, but I'm not…” Dalton growled and threw his hands in the air.