Dire(3)

“It’s not my story to tell. The only thing that matters is that he does want you, and you’re his.”

“So it’s automatic? There’s no mating ritual I have to go through first?” I shuddered. The thought of being with anyone but Gage left me even colder.

“You’re going to have to discuss that with Hunter.”

“Great.” I had no interest in discussing anything with him. I owed him, he’d saved us both, but he’d been the one to put us in the line of danger to begin with.

“Why don’t you go take a hot shower? You’re shivering.”

“I can handle being cold.” I knew that coldness was going to be my new state of normal.

Marni sighed. “You know, I like you Mary Anne, so I’m going to do my best to help you. Part of helping you is giving you advice.”

“I’m listening.” I’d take any help I could get.

“Your life as you knew it is over. The only way you’re going to make things better is if you learn to accept that. Take what time you can for yourself, heal, get over your feelings for Gage, or bury them so deep you’ll never find them again.” She spoke as though either of her suggestions were possible. She had no idea how intense my feelings for Gage were. “You gave Gage life. He’d be dead without you. That should be enough. He’ll meet someone else, and you already have someone. That someone is trying to help Gage right now. He’s risked his neck and all of ours to do it. Cut Hunter a break. Give him a chance.”

“I just want to wake up from this nightmare.” I wanted to be back at school, or even better at my parents’ house.

“It isn’t a nightmare. You aren’t sleeping. Stop trying to get lost in delusions. They won’t help you. Focus on what’s real.”

“Nothing’s real.”

“You’ll accept it eventually. Take my advice. Go take a hot shower and get some sleep. Hunter’s going to be out there with Gage and the guys for hours. Use this time for yourself. You’re not going to get much more of that.”

“Can I trust you, Marni?” I knew I couldn’t really, but I needed to believe she actually cared about my well-being.

“Yes. I’m duty bound to Hunter, but as long as your interests align, I’ll help you when I can.”

“If I go shower, will you make sure he’s okay?”

“Hunter doesn’t want me to leave you alone.”

“Do you really think I’m going to run away now?”

She shook her head. “No. You’re not that stupid. Plus, you wouldn’t leave Gage.”

“So what’s it going to hurt?”

“Will you really go take care of yourself?” She seemed torn.

“Yes. I need to know he’s okay.”

“All right. Go shower. I’ll check on him.”

I walked upstairs. There was no point in trying to run anymore. I took the steps slowly, in no rush to do something that on all accounts felt selfish. Hot water sounded fantastic, but I didn’t deserve that while Gage was outside fighting to figure out what he was. Hopefully he’d find a way to forgive me one day. He had to understand I had no other choice. I couldn’t let him die.

I stripped off my dirty clothes and stepped into the shower. I was using the guest shower, because using Hunter’s seemed even more of a betrayal to Gage. Of course I’d be betraying him more than that soon enough. I shivered. Even the hot water couldn’t get rid of the chill. I stood still as the running water streamed over my body for several minutes, trying to wash away the nightmare we were living, and the image of Gage’s haunting eyes.

I turned off the shower and dried off. I reached for the door, but before I touched the knob, the door was jerked open. I held my towel against me tighter. I let out a sigh of relief when I realized it was Marni.

“Aren’t you in the wrong bathroom?” She leaned against the door frame.

“I like this one.”

“That wasn’t a long shower.”

“And that’s no one’s problem but mine. How is he?”

“He was fine until he saw me. Then he started asking questions about you, and he ended up shifting again.”

“You’re saying it was my fault?”

“I’m saying you need to stay back. You aren’t doing him any favors by checking in on him.”

“But I didn’t check in. You did.”

“And he knew I’d been with you. That’s how Hunter was calming him down. He assured him I was the one with you.”

“Gage likes you.” It wasn’t a question. I knew it. I wasn’t saying it out of jealousy. I had no right to feel that way.