Dinner, Sex and a Movie(4)

Jill (holding up the bill):

You don’t have five dollars. Besides, assuming you are right, which you aren’t, she had a whole night to sleep on this mistake.



Jake:

I’m way too good looking to be stood up. That’s more of the type of thing that would happen to you.



Jill:

Bastard.



Jill punches Jake in the arm then walks off to deliver drinks.



Emma enters the room wearing a business suit, fancy shoes, and carrying a high-end designer handbag. She looks like a million dollars and knows it given the way she carries herself. Bill notices her and reflexively starts pouring a glass of wine. She pulls up at any empty stool next to Jake.



Jill (returning):

Hi Emma.



Emma:

Hello Jill.



Jake (looking and back and forth between Emma and Jill):

Emma?



Jill (introducing Jake):

This is - oh, God. You’re his Emma.



Emma:

Whose? (Looks at Jake) – black T-shirt, Jeans. Shit.



Jake:

You two know each other?



Jill (smacks Jake in forehead):

Duh! Remember, like, three weeks ago? Saturday night.



Jake (remembering):

The knockout with the powerbroker.



Bill hands Emma a glass of red wine.



Bill:

Your Malbec, m’lady.



Emma:

Thanks, Bill.



Jill:

Jake here made inquiries about you that night.



Emma:

Did he really? What did he ask?



Jill:

He didn’t get any farther than (emphasizing) “Who is that?”



Emma:

So what did you tell him?



Jill:

Nothing. You were in the process of leaving. You got into a –



Jake:

– white Lexus LFA –



Jill:

– and drove off. He said never mind, then just sort of sulked for a bit. Then he left with some college girl he picked up.



Emma:

Just as well, really.



Jill:

Oh, I would have told him what you asked me ten minutes earlier that night.



Emma:

No –



Jake (cutting Emma off):

Quid pro quo. (To Jill) Let’s have it.



Jill (looking at Emma, evilly):

Emma asked me who “C & S” was, referring to you.



Jake (to Emma):

C & S?



Emma (caught):

Girl code for cute and stupid.



Jake (smiling):

Yeah, well.



Jill:

And here you both are, in the flesh.



Emma:

OK, I’ll admit I wasn’t expecting this, anyway.



Jill:

It’s kinda cool, don’t you think? I mean, what are the odds?



Emma:

It’s kind of skeevy, if you ask me.



Jake:

Relax, the ice is already melted. This is gonna be the easiest first date ever.



Emma:

This is not a date, little boy.



Jill:

It’s more like Fate.



Emma (looking at Jill):

It’s more like shut up, Jill.



Jake:

Let’s see. First I was compelled to call a number written years ago on the bottom of a piano, second, you answered the phone at a house you no longer live at, and third, when we meet, it turns out we’re already on each other’s radar screens.



Jill (provoking Emma):

Destiny.



Emma:

Don’t get your hopes up. Whatever interest I had was alcohol induced and purely physical in nature. You do have that body, after all.



Jill (looking behind her at the shelves):

Oh, look. Alcohol.



Emma:

Bill, can you please fire her?



Bill:

No, m’lady. Sorry m’lady.



Jake:

As for you, you are drop dead gorgeous.



Emma:

I don’t agree. But thank you, anyway.



Jake:

You’re welcome. And for the record, I would win that argument.



Jill:

Don’t bet on it. You don’t know who you are messing with.



Jake:

I win bets. She showed up didn’t she?



Emma:

Only because I can walk here. Shit, why did I just admit that?



Jill hands Jake the five-dollar bill.



Emma:

What just happened?



Jake:

Jill lost five dollars.



Jill:

Now Jake can pay part of his tab. Five dollars worth, specifically.



Emma:

Well, he is out of a job…. (Devilishly) Good thing his lease is up next Monday.



Jake (confused):

OK, my turn. What just happened?



Emma:

You mean how did I know that? Or that you were born in Covington, Kentucky on July 9, private-schooled, failed out of Cornell, and the only line of credit you ever had was with a jeweler in Manhattan?



Emma pulls a manila folder out of her bag.



Jill (smiling evilly):

Now you’ll see.



Emma:

I compiled a dossier on you.



Jake:

So you’re a secret agent? Or just a P.I.?



Emma:

A trial attorney. With the necessary connections.



Jill:

A vicious bitch trial attorney.



Jake:

I don’t know whether I should be offended or flattered. I’ll go with flattered.



Emma:

Offended is safer. But in my own defense, I don’t normally pull backgrounds on dates.