Diary Of a Pissed Off Wife(11)
Chapter 16
“You did this…? You…”
“I did it for us Willie, this was our big chance. You want to go back to your father’s farm for the rest of your stupid life? If you weren’t so blinded by hero worship for the big great Travis, you could’ve pushed for more playing time.”
What a fucking horror show.
“I’m sorry coach, I’ll be gone tomorrow.” He hung his head and I felt bad. I should’ve belted that bitch one more for him.
“Where you going son?”
“Well I, she…she’s my wife, she did all this.”
“Boy if I was held accountable for all the hair-brained shit my wife gets up to when she’s with this lot, I’d never see the side of a football field again. In the same token, I can’t see punishing you for something you didn’t do.
Now I can’t tell you what to do in your personal life, but as far as I can see, you haven’t given me any reason to pink slip you. What I will do is ban your wife from any and all things to do with my team. If she even drives by the field I’ll have her arrested. And I’ll be having that drawn up legal like first thing in the morning. I don’t know if Travis and Janey wants to press charges…”
“Hell yeah I want to press charges.”
“What?”
“She hit you in the fucking face.”
“Baby, I kinda hit her first.”
“I don’t give a fuck she started this shit.” He made as if to go after her and I pulled him back by his arm.
“Travis what are you doing?”
“I’m going to pop her one, what do you think?”
“You can’t hit a girl.”
“Why not? She wants to play in the big leagues, let her get a taste. Plus she tried to single handedly destroy my marriage and my fucking career.” Oh boy, time to calm him down.
Damien walked over to Will, while Josh, Sandy’s husband, was making her use her inhaler. He should tie that shit around her neck like a bell.
“Come bro, I know a good divorce lawyer.”
“Excuse me.” Jilessa followed them out the door.
“I’m talking about my brother Jilessa, calm your ass down.”
“Oh.”
“Crazy heifer.”
“Yo mama is the crazy heifer Damien Smalls.” They went off arguing.
“You get any of that action Paulie bird?”
“Nah, this was for our Janey, I was just along for ballast. But next time…”
“What next time, they better not be a next time.” They walked out the door next. Sandy and Will looked at us with their arms wrapped around each other.
“Come on Cap, let’s blow this joint.”
“I’m right behind you Joshua.”
“Uh, that would be negative. I’m not leaving you back here with these two idiots, we have enough shit to deal with as it is.”
“Come on hubby let’s go see our babies. I miss them.”
“I have to take care of your face first and other parts of you too. Then we’ll get the kids okay?”
“Sure. I love you baby.”
“I love you more.”
“Hey Sand, you get any video on that thing or just the sound? I haven’t seen Jane put a beating on anyone since high school.”
She went to fiddling again, oh boy.
We walked out the door and never looked back.
Two Months Later
“Sandy, you put that shit on YouTube?”
“What?”
I was in my kitchen nursing my morning juice, since Travis put his foot down about my coffee intake. The idiot doctor told him that I couldn’t have any during my pregnancy.
“Imagine my surprise when people started calling me at fuck o’clock in the morning, asking if I’m the lady in the video? What did you do?”
“Oh crap, the boys had my phone. I didn’t even think it worked, I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“It has over a million hits. Oh man Travis is gonna have my ass.”
She got off the phone yelling for her little hellions. Oh well, it was saved for posterity anyway.