Deviant(124)

I walked towards the door and was on my way out when I suddenly turned. “We are fucking done, Dean. This is where it ends. I never want to see you again.” I turned around to walk towards the lifts when I remembered something. “And another thing,” I said, turning my head a little. “I quit!”

With my head held high, I marched towards the lift and got in. There was probably hardly anyone in the building by now.

When it got to the bottom floor, I walked out with a sigh. I knew I was strong back there, but it took everything in my willpower to hold it together. My first love, the one I thought I would spend my life with as we got older, had turned from my superhero into my villain. How on earth could it have turned out this way? He didn’t even think to stop and ask questions. He just assumed, and I knew that the word “assume” made an ass out of you and me. I laughed a little at that analogy. I had made an ass out of myself. I had let Dean in, my stranger, when he was just there to hurt me. All the while, he was there to cause me pain. But the crux of the whole thing was that Dean was my first in the end. He was determined to take my virginity and hold onto that as the first part of his revenge—the first part to ruining my life.

He was never like this when he was younger. He was innocent, carefree, sweet, and caring. Thinking that my parents or I could have been involved in his demise made my skin crawl. I couldn’t even believe he thought I would betray him like that. He was the love of my life. Even now, the memory of him held strong. He would always be the love of my life. No matter how much I hurt, I would never be able to escape that. I would never be able to escape him.

Without thinking, my hand immediately sought out the necklace he had given me all those years ago. It was something I had always wanted to keep with me just to cling onto him somehow. I had always hoped that, one day, he would return, but I never envisioned it would be like this. Subconsciously, I had even broken off relationships because I had this silly notion that, one day, my Dean would come by on his white horse and whisk me off into the sunset. I guess life had a funny way of showing that it had a sense of humour. Dean wanted to make his point, and he certainly made it with a fucking cherry on top.

It was the daydreaming in the car that stopped me from realizing I was nearing the turn to my apartment. I had driven all the way back from work without even noticing. How on earth did that happen?

I indicated left to turn into my car park and parked my car in my spot. I was determined to not let him win, even now. Walking into my apartment, I had barely enough time to get my coat off and place my things down when the doorbell rang.

Sighing, I reached for the door and opened it a crack. I saw Ian standing there with a big smile and two bottles of wine: one red, one white. Shit, in my haze, I had completely forgotten all about Ian coming over.

Undoing the latch, I opened to door to find Ian inhaling, then his face fell. “Hold up a sec. Why can’t I smell the distinct aroma of Spaghetti Bolognaise?” Ian turned his head to catch my eyes and when he did, his smile disappeared. “What’s wrong?” He walked in and I closed the door. What was I going to tell him? I suppose everything, now that this had happened tonight. Ian was just as big a part of Dean’s life as I was, so I had to tell him he was here at least. Not only that. We had both been working for him for the past three years. With that, amongst other thoughts whirling around in my head, I motioned towards the sofa.

“I think you need to sit down,” I suggested with a half-smile. I really didn’t know how I was going to tell him, but I knew I had to try.

Ian gulped a little, but did as he was told. “You’re frightening me,” he finally said, reaching the sofa and sat down. I sat down next to him and took a deep breath. I wasn’t sure where to begin, so I started from the beginning. I told him all about my stranger, the things he did around the house, unwittingly knowing it was Dean all along. The only part I left out was what he told me about my parents. I would elaborate if he asked, but I was too drained to carry on once I had finished.

After I told him that Andrew Walker was Dean all along, Ian sat there, dazed for a moment. “Shit, Tyler,” he finally spluttered in disbelief. “I can’t believe he did that.”

I shook my head. “Me, either.”

Ian’s face was a picture. You could tell he was shocked and you could tell he must have had a million questions flying around his head. We were all such good friends. We shared everything together. Our hopes and dreams, even our darkest fantasies.

Once Ian calmed down a little, he saw my defeated stare and motioned me over. “Come here. Let me give you a cuddle and a good old-fashioned massage to help you unwind. You’re never alone with your best friend. I was always there for you.”