Deviant(121)

Determined to find out more, I strived on for more information. I didn’t care if I ended up late at work because of it. I needed to know why the man of my dreams had suddenly become my worst nightmare. If there was one thing I had always been good at, it was research. You had to in this line of work, and now I was using it to my full advantage.

In my three hours of virtually non-stop Lotus homework, I found out quite a lot. My heart thumped and my head hurt with knowledge, but it was nowhere near how much my heart was hurting now. It wasn’t a dream I had the other night when I thought Dean was holding me in his arms and caressing my necklace. It was real. My stranger was real. In fact, he even owned the apartment block I stayed in. It was in another name, but I knew it was him. My stranger wasn’t a stranger at all.

He was my long-lost love, Dean. And I knew just where I could find him.



*****



It was just after six when I finally left work. I had somewhere to go, but I also had to wait a little while until I could go where I needed to. In an effort to pass the time, I looked around the shops, looking at all the sales, but not really taking any of it in. I was too consumed with the knowledge that my Dean was back, but he was out to hurt me. My heart drowned in a sea of despair. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was I had done. But I was determined to figure it out, one way or the other. I had to find him and look him in the eye so he could tell me face-to-face what I had done so wrong that it warranted him breaking me apart. And I did feel broken apart. Dean had always been the love of my life. For years, I kept that image of him as that cheeky, skinny, tall boy who wanted nothing more than to make me happy. What happened to that boy? What turned him against me so fiercely?

Shaking my head, I looked around and only then remembered Ian was coming around later. Fishing out my phone, I texted Ian to let him know I was running late, and that I should be back at around eight-thirty. I had a task to complete and the anticipation was running through my veins.

When it got closer to eight, I thought it was now or never. I didn’t know whether Dean would be there, but I had to see for myself. I had to at least find out more, if I could.

I walked into the building, passing by the odd person or two leaving their offices for the day. I got in the lift, alone, and pressed the top floor. It was the worst elevator ride I had ever experienced. It seemed to go on and on with no end in sight. I wondered whether my Dean would be the same. The thought frightened me. What if he was determined never to set me free?

With that thought coursing through my pumping veins, the lift doors opened, revealing a dim room. All the lights were off, apart from the dim overhead ones—some of which were flickering a little. It just seemed to somehow add to the suspense.

My heart drumming, I walked past the vast array of desks towards the one room I had been dreading and longing to visit all day.

I stood outside, realizing there was a shadow in the darkened room, looking across the horizon. Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath, realizing it was now or never. I opened my eyes to meet the name on the door. My stalker, my stranger, my Dean, was none other than Andrew Walker. And now he stood in the shadows, hoodie over his head, and I knew just where he was planning on going tonight.

But I beat him to it. I had become the stalker and my stranger, the unsuspecting victim. It made me laugh a little, knowing I had regained some power. I wondered what he would think once he saw me here now. I knew he would be shocked, but for me, it was all about answers. I needed answers as to why he wanted to hurt me so badly.

Turning the knob as quietly as I could, I entered the room and stood staring at the back of my Dean. Tears threatened to run at the thought I had finally found him, only for him to be ripped from me once again.

I was still determined, though. I was still resolute in seeing this through without a tear, without my despair. I couldn’t let him see that he had won. I had to hold onto my dignity with all my might.

For a long time, I stood there, speechless. At first, I didn’t know if I should say anything, or just let him take his time before he turned around. I didn’t have to wait too long. He turned, and the hint of those steely blue eyes I remembered as a kid locked onto me with a force unknown to nature. It was him at the mansion. The man who stole my breath away. Why did I not see that it was him at the time? How could I have ever forgotten those beautiful eyes of his?

Trying not to think too much on it, I just took the moment of silence to gauge his reaction. He was good at hiding things, I’d give him that. I still saw it, though…the surprised look on his face when he saw me. It was ever so slight, but it was there nonetheless. It almost made me smile. I wasn’t sure where this little bit of triumph in me came from, but it was there, bubbling away on the surface.