Desperate Measures(81)

 

He slammed his fists down on the hood.

 

“Don’t fucking hit my car, asshole,” said Kiki loudly. The fear flew out of her heart to be replaced by indignation. No one touched her car like that. No one.

 

“Oh yeah, bitch? What are you going to do about it?” He hit her car again. Only harder.

 

“Well this, for one,” she said in a low, menacing tone.

 

“Kiiiikiiiiii,” whined Aimee. “What are you doooinnnggg?”

 

Kiki put one foot on the brake and one on the gas. She pushed the brake down with her left and pushed on the accelerator a bit with her right, revving the engine and causing the car to surge up in the back and bounce a little, making it look as if it were going to leap forward and run him over.

 

Jack jumped back. “You crazy bitch! What are you going to do? Run me over? I’m calling the cops. That’s assault.” He pointed his finger at her sharply.

 

“Kiki, don’t run him over! I don’t want you to go to jail!” begged Aimee.

 

Kiki didn’t take her eyes from Jack for a second. “Shush, would ya? I have a plan.” Then she started talking softly again, as if to herself. “That’s right, little bastard. Come on over here to the side of the car. Here … I’ll roll my window down and give you a nice target. You look like the type to hit a woman.”

 

She kept her right hand on the wheel and slowly cranked her window down, making sure he’d see that her face was now exposed. She yelled out to Jack, “Get out of the way or I’m going to run your small dick over!”

 

He took the bait, running over to the side of the car as he roared, intending to attack Kiki. But she was waiting for him. Aimee screamed like a wild woman, coming completely unglued at the idea of Jack getting to her friend, but Kiki didn’t have time to explain what she was going to do. She whipped the wheel to the left at the same time she slammed her foot down on the accelerator, a split second later letting up off the brake.

 

The Camaro’s rear wheels spun out, sending small rocks and debris up behind them to pelt Jack’s car, making a sound like a miniature machine gun. The back end of the rear-wheel drive vehicle spun out to the right, swinging the car around until its front end was pointing toward Aimee’s lawn. As soon as Kiki let up off the accelerator just a bit, the tires grabbed and propelled the car forward, narrowly missing Jack, but at the same time making it impossible for him to reach Kiki’s open window before she and Aimee were shooting out across the front lawn.

 

“Hold on!” Kiki yelled, spinning the car to the left again, leaving a big skid mark in the grass as she got the car pointed out toward the road.

 

Aimee screamed and grabbed onto the dashboard with one hand and the oh-shit handle with the other. The car continued, careening forward and running over landscaping rocks and the curb before bouncing back onto the street and zooming over to the other side. Kiki jerked the wheel one more time to the left, getting the car under control, and headed out of the neighborhood.

 

Once the car stopped rocking and Kiki was able to convince her brain to let her foot off the gas, they found themselves three blocks away, the engine humming along quietly as if they hadn’t just totally pulled a page out of the Dukes of Hazzard playbook to escape the clutches of Aimee’s crazy almost-ex-husband.

 

Aimee slowly peeled her hand off the dashboard and released the vinyl loop by the window. She dropped her face into her hands, her shoulders quaking. Kiki looked over at her nervously, feeling terrible.

 

“Aimee, hon, I’m sorry. I know I scared the shit out of you back there. I’m sorry about the grass, too. I’ll pay for it. I didn’t mean to get you in any trouble.”

 

Kiki was shocked to hear laughter as a response.

 

Aimee pulled her hands away from her face, and Kiki was able to see for the first time that Aimee wasn’t upset. She was laughing her butt off.

 

Kiki felt her own smile starting to come, unbidden, reveling in the joy she saw on her friend’s face.

 

“That! Was the most. Amazing thing. I have ever seen a woman do. In my entire life!”

 

Kiki felt her heart fill with pride. “Yeah. It was pretty friggin’ awesome, wasn’t it?”

 

“Holy cannolis. Let’s do it again!” She bounced up and down on the seat, clapping her hands. “Do it again! Make Jack pee his pants again!”

 

Her enthusiasm was infectious. Kiki would never go looking for trouble like that, but she glanced up in her rearview mirror, just playfully acting as if she were going to turn around and go back for more. Unfortunately, the hilarity of the moment ended in a flash, the moment she noticed the tiny red dot behind them getting closer and bigger.