Dear Bridget, I Want You(82)
“I love you,” I simply said. “I’ll go tuck Brendan in. You go relax. Pick out what you want to watch tonight.”
Our adult time after Brendan went to bed was always my favorite time of the night after a long day. There was nothing like cozying up to my luv as she fell asleep in my arms. Bridget always nodded off before whatever we were watching was over. That was why lately we opted for sex before turning on the telly. Tonight, though, I could tell she was too exhausted for sex, as much I wanted it.
Brendan was playing on his tablet when I entered his room.
“Hey, buddy. Time to shut down the game and brush your teeth. After you come back from the bathroom, I want to talk to you about something, okay?”
When Brendan left for the loo, I took the opportunity to do something I hadn’t done in a while—talk to Ben.
Walking over to the bureau, I lifted the framed photo.
“I don’t have a lot of time. So, here it is. You know I’m mad at you for what you did to her and in many ways, I’ll never forgive you for it. But the fact remains that in your death, I received so much. I owe you for this life in a strange way. You may have been a shitty husband, but from what I hear, you were a good father. You can rest in peace knowing that I’ll take good care of your son, not as a friend but as the dad he deserves. And for what it’s worth, I’ll continue taking real good care of your wife. Take that however you may.”
When I could hear Brendan’s footsteps approaching, I put the photo back in its rightful spot.
“Come on,” I said. “I’ll tuck you in and we’ll talk.”
After he climbed into bed, I sat on the edge of his mattress.
“You know how your mum and I talked to you about she and I sharing a bedroom now and all of that...”
“Yeah. You said her bed was more comfortable than the one in the other room.”
“Right. That’s part of it. But it’s more about being more comfortable with her near me at night, sort of like how you like to sleep with your stuffed rabbit, Miffy.”
He seemed to understand. “Yeah.”
“Anyway…I want to ask you something. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to answer me if you’re not sure.”
“Okay.”
“Normally, a guy asks this question to a woman’s father, but since your granddad is not around, and since I value your opinion more than anyone’s, I’d like to ask you if it would be okay with you if I asked your mum to marry me.”
He straightened up against the headboard to better look at me. “That would make us a real family?”
“Well, I feel like we already are. Don’t you?”
“Yeah. But sometimes I feel like it’s bad to think that.”
“Because of your father?”
“I don’t want him to be sad that I love you.”
His words caused me to close my eyes. Not only had he never said he loved me before, but the other part was hard to hear.
“I love you, too, buddy. I love you exactly how a father loves a son. And I don’t think your father in Heaven is sad. I think he’s happy that I’m here to look out for you. I know I would feel the same if I were him.”
“I want you to marry my mom.”
“Yeah? I have your permission?”
The slightly timid-looking grin on his face was adorable. “Yeah.”
“Thank you for your blessing. I didn’t want to ask her without it.”
“When are you gonna ask her? Can we have a party?”
“Of course. But I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll let you know before I do. Deal?”
“Deal.” He high-fived me and asked, “What would that make you to me if you married my mom?”
“I’d be your stepdad, technically. But to me, that’s no different than a father.”
“What would I call you?”
“You could call me whatever you want…as long as it’s not a curse word.” I chuckled. “You could still call me Simon, or you could call me Dad if you want. Or maybe you reserve that term for your father, Ben, and call me something like…Pop. It’s what I call my dad from time to time. Because really, Brendan, I hope you look at me like an additional dad not a replacement. I could never replace your father.”
He took a few moments to ponder my suggestion then said, “Pop. I like that. Pop for my father here and Dad for my daddy in Heaven.”
Rustling his hair, I smiled. “I think that’s brilliant, son.”
It took me more than a month, but I finally figured out how I was going to do it.
When we first met, Bridget had mentioned that she’d never been to WaterFire in Providence. My plan was to take her on a gondola and propose to her on the ride. Then, the next day, we’d head to Newport for some family time with Brendan to celebrate the engagement—have the party he wanted.