Dear Bridget, I Want You(23)

Simon didn’t answer and simply looked down at his watch. “Actually, I forgot I have an early meeting tomorrow with hospital management before my shift. I’ve got to be up at five. So, I’m gonna turn in, alright?”

“Okay,” I whispered, hoping I hadn’t upset him.

He left me alone in the kitchen. I looked at the clock. It was late, but I decided to text Calliope, knowing she’d told me once that she stays up pretty late.



Bridget: Are you awake?



Calliope: Yup. Just watching the telly. What’s up?



Bridget: Can I call you?



Calliope: Sure.



She answered, “What’s up, Bridge?”

I came right out with it. “You never told me that you and Simon dated.”

Calliope sighed. “It was so long ago. I didn’t think it was significant. Are you mad?”

“No…no. I just…I’m surprised. That’s all.”

“Honestly, we started out as friends and have remained friends. The romantic relationship was sort of like a strange detour in the middle that didn’t work out. We were always meant to be just what we are—friends. He’s very special to me, not someone I could ever see disappearing from my life.”

I could kind of relate to feeling that way about him.

“I can understand that.”

“Nigel is the love of my life. Everything turned out the way it should have in that respect.” She paused then said, “Bridget…”

“Hmm?”

“Are you falling for Simon?”

I hesitated. “No.”

“Be honest.”

I sighed. “I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’m very attracted to him, though.”

It was the first time I’d ever admitted that out loud to anyone.

“Enough time has passed since Ben died. It’s okay to have feelings for someone, you know. Especially someone who’s truly a great guy.”

“I thought you agreed he was a manwhore.”

“Well, he is.” She laughed. “Or at least, he was. But that’s not necessarily because he’s a bad person. Simon thinks he doesn’t want kids, doesn’t want to settle down. He’s always said that. But I don’t truly believe him, because a lot of his actions contradict that. I think he’s just scared of hurting people or getting hurt—one or the other, maybe both.”

“Why?”

“He has his reasons. Not my place to talk about it, though.”

What does that mean?

I chose not to pry. “Okay.”

“But I can assure you of one thing,” she said. “Deep down, underneath all that brawn and wild personality…is a really decent human being. I don’t know exactly whether that makes him good boyfriend material or not, but Simon is certainly someone I would trust with my life.”





I just kept fucking up.

First…it was the Adventures of Uncle Simon. Bridget was right. There was no way I wanted Brendan to become attached to me, only to be devastated when I moved.

Second was the issue of my attraction to Bridget. I hadn’t wanked off to anyone but her in weeks, and it was pissing me off. Every time I would try, the woman in my head would morph into her. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Third, I almost messed up and told her about Blake. We were having tea, and she’d asked me about my reasons for entering the medical field. I found myself really wanting to tell her, which was strange, because I normally avoided talking about it at all costs. But Bridget had a way about her that made you want to bare your soul. She emitted an air of motherly comfort or something that made me want to just place my head on her lap and tell her all of my secrets and woes. (And yes, my dirty mind did wander to some of the other things I could do with my head in her lap.) Anyway, I suspected she wouldn’t judge me. Especially since she knew a thing or two about devastating life circumstances. But I stopped myself, mainly because I really couldn’t risk opening up to her, getting closer to her. I needed to consider what would happen when my residency was over and I moved back to the UK, which was the plan all along.

So, lately, I’d been distancing myself a bit, just spending more time out of the house or at least when I was home, keeping to my own space. The problem was: I was physically distancing myself, but mentally still focusing on her. I missed her and if I was being honest…Brendan, too.

Feeling frustrated, I spent my morning off at the yoga studio, arse-gazing until Calliope finished her class.

Helping myself to the smoothie station, I sliced up some fruit and vegetables and blended a concoction as she pulled up a stool to join me.

I spoke through the blender. “Care for some pineapple banana spinach flaxseed Nutella shake?”