Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1)(55)

I made it half way when the ice gave out.

My last sight was the wolves turning tail, leaving me to my icy tomb.

I struggled against the icy depths, my heart pounding in my ears as water filled my lungs. Gravity was a bitch, I could feel hypothermia taking hold, and knew the moment I lost the fight. They say you get this replay of your life when you die, but I’d died twice now, and I didn’t see anything either time. I’d be damned if the third wasn’t the same.

I wondered at why I wasn’t awarded the images, or why I kept being cheated of death. Too much had happened in such a short time, that it would be so easy to just let go. I considered it for a moment, but right when I had been willing to give up hope, he came to me.

Blue-green eyes and his heated touch. I smiled, even though I’d become numb from the icy grasp of the lake. Blackness was fighting me for my mind, but there, in that moment. I found him. At deaths door, I found Jaeden. Only he wasn’t dreamy, he looked pissed. The darkness won, and I knew no more.











Fire crackled from somewhere close. Warmth filled my mind and my body, and something was wrapped around me; hands rubbed over me. I was stark ass naked. Death…well let’s just say that death had a hot sense of irony.

“Emma,” Jaeden’s voice called to me from somewhere far away.

“Mmm,” I mumbled incoherent things, only to pass out again, and then do the same each time he called my name.

When I awoke again, it was to his lips touching mine, his cock pressed hard against my belly, and we’d moved closer to the fire. “I like dying with you,” I whispered and opened my mouth for his kiss.

“Emma,” he said again as his hands framed my face. “You are immortal my sweet, silly girl; it would have to be something very extreme to kill you now, but you do need sleep.” His gentle voice sounded amused. Damn, I loved his accent.

“Okay.” I needed sleepily.

I slept, but each time I woke, it became clearer. I’m not sure how long we did this for, or why we did this, but when I finally came to, it was to find Jaeden wrapped around me and blankets tucked in against us. His masculine scent filled my mind with a calmness that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Am I dreaming?” I whispered.

“Do you want to dream of me, sweet girl?” he asked as he rubbed his massive erection against me.

“Yes,” I replied and then gasped as he rolled over, pinning me to the floor. I loved this dream. It was different than before, and he felt real. His hands pinned mine easily in their larger hold. His mouth was hungry and intense as he kissed me.

His fingers parted my sex, and dipped inside. I bucked, and rocked them for more, needing more of him. It was too much, and not enough at the same time. I wanted more. I was already on the brink, and his husky laughter made me want it more. He refused to allow me release, and I started to think I’d fallen for him all over again.

Dreams were funny like that, never giving you what you wanted, and it made me wonder why they always said to chase your dreams. Um hello, dreams sometimes sucked! This one in particular had my body ready for penetration and yet dream-Jaeden was kissing my breasts slowly, as if he had all the time in the world. I knew it was wrong but I didn’t care. I wanted him, and I wanted him now.

He drew me in like a moth to the flame. He made my heart race with each twitch of his massive cock as it touched my clitoris. That amazing scent of his made my mouth water with the need to taste his flesh. The trembling of his fingers as he rubbed them over my core with skilled pets and touches. Could dream-Jaeden hear my heart pounding with need? Could he feel the heat of my core as it grew slick with need for him?

He lowered his face until his mouth touched and kissed the crook of my neck, breathing me in as he did so. He leaned back and smiled, a heated gaze filling his turquoise depths. His hands released mine as he parted my legs even further. One hand came back to hold my face in place as his other one reached down to open the petals that had already grown wet with need.

“Such a beautiful sight,” he whispered huskily. His fingers parted my folds which swelled with need and glistened for his greedy eyes; he knew it was only for him that I was this wet for. Only his touch made this storm of emotions and raw need saturate my core. He lowered his long frame down until his mouth hovered over the slick mess that was his. He leaned in closer until his long tongue dragged over the folds knowingly, so slowly, so thoroughly. I gasped and his lips curved into a smile that he pressed against my pussy. “Such a beautiful pussy,” he growled as he moved his hand from my face and used two fingers to fill me.



I cried out as the friction mixed with longing, and my body responded to his touch. His eyes locked with mine, and his turned darker, glittering with desire. I licked my lips invitingly, but he ignored it. His touch was gentle as he held my thighs apart and continued to fuck me with his mouth. His fingers would come out, only for his tongue to take their place. I was coming undone, and I could see in his eyes that he sensed it.

It wasn’t until he climbed up my body, framed my face between his large hands and looked me straight in the eyes, that he entered my body slowly; his eyes never left mine until he was buried deep inside of me. “Does that feel like a dream?” he asked with a hoarse tone.

“Yes,” I cried as he began to move slowly. His hips rocked in a steady tempo that had me lost in desire. The steady rhythm, mixed with the juices between my thighs, had him increasing his fast pace. The concentration on his face as he looked at how his handiwork was bringing me closer to the edge sent me and my mind right over it.

He moved down my body until he held both of my feet in his large hands, his mouth fed greedily from my wetness with an overwhelming eagerness that created shock waves to follow the first release. My mind was coming back, and with it, the knowledge that I was actually fucking Jaeden. As in, he’d really saved me and was now fucking me silly.

“You asshole!” I kicked him until he released my feet. “You mother fucker! You left us!”

“Emma,” he said as he stood up to his full height as I came to my feet as well. He lifted his hands, which looked comical considering his cock was bouncing in the air. “I can explain everything if you just let me.”

“You left me!” I swung out at him but I didn’t have the best balance at the moment and ended up being caught by him. “You destroyed me!” He pulled me close and held me tightly.

“I had to break ties with you; the elders questioned everything about you, those Sentinels at the bridge, my loyalty—everything! They reassigned us. Shamus told them you were an asset and he made them see that you were on our side, but it took time. I have been trying to get back to you since we left, but we also had to consider the fact that this place was swarming with rogue wolves,” he said softly as one of his big hands stroked my hair. “We aren’t from here, but we have been keeping out of sight and picking off the rogues pretty steadily. I wouldn’t have left you had there been another way, but the elders are law in my world, even above our sires. I knew it would only be a matter of time before they saw reason and I could come back to you.”

“You could have told me that! I could have handled it if I’d known there was a reason!”

“Could you have? I couldn’t chance a scene, or them figuring out how I felt about you.”

“And just how do you feel?” I asked softly.

“Do you really need words to figure it out?” he asked as he pressed his erection at my junction.

“You scared me tonight,” he whispered as he moved the hair from my face and looked down at me, “I saw the ice give way and had to save you. We’ve lost the element of surprise we had, but you were right; you’re worth it.”

“You left me,” I said as a single tear slid down my cheek.

“To protect you, Emma, yes, I left you to buy time and get a plan together, because losing you wasn’t an option. I have to leave again after we thin out some of these rabid mongrels, but for now, in this house, we belong together.”

“Where are you going?” I asked as my heart lifted and seemed to get stuck in my throat.

“I’m going to Utah,” he said with a sensual grin on his lips. “You’re coming with me.” A gleam in his eye told me he was dead serious.



“Why would I leave?” I asked turning my full attention on him and what he’d said. I wasn’t leaving and I was curious to figure out why he thought I’d just pick up and go.

“Because they aren’t holding Grayson close to here, but a lead I discovered in the last few weeks said he might be in Utah, around Provo. I also discovered another group of what I think might be Sentinels. I told you’d I’d help you and I will. I discovered more information about your mother and where she has been, but I’ll tell you all that later.”

“You were looking for Grayson?” I asked barely above a whisper.

“He’s your brother, and I figured you wouldn’t be able to leave the shelter long enough to find him; not without help anyways.” His mouth tipped up. “Now, how do you plan to reward me?” he asked.

I didn’t hesitate. I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist as I kissed him like he was my world. My hands framed his face and the moan of pleasure that broke from his throat was smothered by my mouth.