Dangerous Temptations(48)

As soon as I went inside, I pressed my body against the door and sunk to  the floor. I cried into my knees, my appetite completely gone. All I  wanted to do was to crawl back into my bed and sleep all the pain and  confusion away.





Chapter Twenty-Nine



"So tell me again how he showed up at your hotel-all ready and  willing-and you didn't take him back to your room and fuck his brains  out?"

I scowled, rolling my eyes at how crass Staci could be. "No … " I grabbed  another box of clothes and ripped the top open. I hadn't told her Alex  showed up until a couple days after I moved in and she still hadn't let  it go.

"And he's left you voicemail messages every night this week just to say goodnight and that he was thinking of you?"

"Yup."

"And you haven't called him back?" I felt her scowling at me.

"Nope." I didn't doubt that he missed me and a small part of me loved  hearing his voice, but I still wasn't sure I could handle everything the  press would throw at us.

"You've been moping around here since you moved in, Mac. You miss him."

"Still doesn't change anything," I said blankly.

"Normally, I'd get where you're coming from, but the engagement is over.  The rumors have already been leaked. You weren't fired. It sounds like a  fresh start to me." She shrugged her shoulders, biting into her pretzel  stick as she leaned up against the door frame.

"Even if the entire ‘affair' was based on lies, secrets, and overall betrayal?"

"That's why I said a fresh start," she emphasized, smirking. "The dirty  laundry has been aired out. So what's keeping you from finally admitting  you love him?"

I nearly choked on her words. "I do not love him."

She rolled her eyes at me. "You're so delusional, you know that?"

"I am not. It was infatuation," I explained. "He showed me the attention  I wasn't getting from William, making me feel special and needed. But  at the end of it all, both men lied to me, and I betrayed the one man I  promised to marry. That's not exactly a love story." I snorted in  protest.

"Listen, Mac," she said, grabbing a full box of clothes and sitting on  top of it. "I know you grew up in a much different and awful  circumstance, but your idea of love is so far-fetched it's laughable.  Things aren't meant to be perfect. Love isn't perfect. It's messy and  spontaneous and most of the time, you end up wanting to kill each other,  but that's what makes it work. Relationships are all unique. Sometimes  they work and sometimes they're destined to fail from the start, but  what you and Alex have … " she paused, her expression genuine as she  continued, "Mac, that's real. He's continuously there for you. He lied  about one tiny detail, which, if you think about it, is pretty  reasonable considering the position he was in."         

     



 

"He still should've told me."

"Yeah … and you should've told William a lot sooner. But you didn't."

I knew she was right. I was being a hypocrite. I wasn't perfect and made  mistakes, and I was pushing Alex away for the same exact reasons.

I leaned backed on the bed, my back falling flat against the mattress.  "So you're saying I made a huge mistake by letting him walk away?"

"Yes … " she said genuinely. "But if it's time you need, then take it. I don't doubt Alex will wait for you."

I sighed. I knew she was right, but I was scared. "I just ended a  long-term engagement," I started to explain, "and not exactly on good  terms. Clearly, I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to  relationships."

"I don't think anyone knows what they're doing, Mac. High divorce rates  are proof we all struggle with it, but can you live with yourself if you  let the fear keep you away from someone you know you're meant to be  with?"

I turned and narrowed my brows at her. "I've known him for like a  minute. You haven't even met him, so how can you be so sure of that?"

She smiled at me, her eyes wide and bright with amusement. "Because in  the seven years I've known you-and I like to think I know you better  than anyone-I've never seen you check your phone as much as you have  this week. And because during your entire relationship with William,  I've never seen your face light up when you talked about him the way it  does when you talk about Alex." She paused and her expression fell.  "Alex gets under your skin. He pushes your boundaries. He tests your  limits. He makes you feel, Mac. You feel things for him you've never  felt for anyone before and it scares you. Do you really want to let that  go?"

I closed my eyes as I let her words sink in. Times like these were when I  wished I had a mother the most. I wish we could've sat around and  talked about guys and love. I wish I would've had an idea about  relationships before jumping into one. But if being with William taught  me anything, it taught me I was stronger than I realized. Being pushed  into the spotlight was never something I imagined having, but it helped  teach me a lot about myself.

"I'm going to finish unpacking this box and head to bed," I said,  sitting back up. Tomorrow was Thursday, but since Brittainy's wedding  was this weekend, I was taking Friday off. Which meant, I had about two  days' worth of work to get done in one.

She walked over and wrapped her arms around me. "I love you, Mac. I want to see you happy."

"I know." I leaned into her. "I love you, too."

Once she was gone, I changed and slipped into bed. My head was spinning  with thoughts of Alex-what we did together-and how much I missed him.  But could I just forget all that and move on? Or would I forever live  with the regret that I let the best thing that had ever happened to me  get away?





WORK KICKED MY ass all day Thursday. I barely had enough time to  breathe, but the fact I'd be watching one of my best friends get married  this weekend helped get me through it all. Staci and I were both  bridesmaids and would be in all the pre-wedding and post-wedding duties.

"Rise and shine, buttercup!" I said, throwing a pillow at Staci's face. "Sleep is for the weak."

She tossed the pillow from her face and sat up, scrunching her nose at  me. "Who are you and what did you do to my best friend? You might know  her … five foot six, long blonde hair, perfect body?"

"Are you trying to get me into bed with you?" I winked. "And she's right here."

She threw the covers off her and stood up, stretching and yawning. "You are oddly perky."

"Because, my lovely friend, this weekend is going to be epic. And I don't want to miss a minute of it."

"Hmm … " She squinted at me. "Is this you pretending everything's fine when deep inside it's not?"

I pointed a finger at her and scowled. "Do not Dr. Phil me. I'm just  determined to have a fun time, that's all. We have mani and pedi  appointments today, then the bridesmaid's luncheon and the rehearsal  dinner. I'm going to forget everything and have a good time for Britt's  sake."         

     



 

She grinned. "What?" I asked.

"So basically, you mean … getting drunk."

"Well, yeah. That's usually how it works." I smirked.

"All right … " She shrugged playfully. "I'm game for binge drinking."

We both hurried to get ready. We were meeting Brittainy and the other  girls in the wedding party at nine a.m. sharp. We walked in and were  immediately greeted with champagne and bagels.

"Breakfast of champions," I mocked, giving Brittainy a hug.

"There're donuts, too." She smiled wide, giddy as ever, and led us to  where we'd be getting our nails done. "This is my Aunt Whitney and my  cousin, Gabby," she introduced. "My mother is somewhere around here … "  She leaned in and whispered, "Probably finding more alcohol."

The entire morning was filled with laughs, old stories of Brittainy in  high school and college and therapeutic girl time. By the time we had  finished, most of us were buzzed and starving. Our lunch reservations  were for twelve-thirty and luckily, we made it just in time.

"So, Britt … what are you looking forward to the most on your wedding day?" I asked as we dug into our food.

"The wedding night sex," she blurted out, smiling. Her mother nearly  choked on her wine, and I busted out in laughter. "And I plan to have a  lot of sex."

By the time we finished eating, most of us were walking sideways out of  the restaurant. Fortunately, none of us had to drive since Brittainy's  parents rented us a limo, and we all rode back to the church together.  Since there's a Thursday night service, we had to wait until today to  decorate for the ceremony.

"Wow … " I breathed out as I sat across from her in the limo. "I can't believe you're getting married."

"I know!" she nearly screamed. "I can't believe it either. It feels surreal."