Danger! Bad Boy(43)

Although, Ian could give Caleb a run for his money in the bad boy department.

Seriously, they should get along better than they did.

Josh was still giving me stalker eyes most days at school. The guy seriously needed a shrink to dispense some meds. My mom could probably make some recommendations.

She had been driving me crazy all week. Mother’s intuition had kicked in with a vengeance and she somehow sensed the return of Caleb in my life. She was always asking me if I’d talked to Caleb, demanding I stay away from him.

She knew about my job, but didn’t question how I’d gotten it. She’d been so relieved Caleb and I had broken up, she was willing to agree to anything. When I hadn’t come home last Saturday night, I’d told her I spent the night at Cece’s.

I was tempted to see how my mom would react if I brought home one of the potheads from my school. Maybe find a guy with more piercings and tattoos than Caleb. Or a ten page rap sheet.

As for Caleb, well, he was still his usual bipolar self. Confusing the hell out of me and all the while making me crave more of him. If only he weren’t so hot and I wasn’t crazy about him.

Last weekend was unexpected, but maybe subconsciously inevitable. He swore there hadn’t been any girls since me and there wouldn’t be as long as I gave him his one day a week. The feminist buried deep down inside somewhere wanted to smack him for that one.

The DJ changed songs and I changed my mode of dancing. The pop song previously playing was alright, but the R&B song playing now was one of my favorites. Losing myself in the music, I momentarily let go of my problems.

Someone shouting up at me jolted me out of the zone. Trying to be heard over the music was a guy I didn’t know. It was so tacky when guys tried to hit on a club’s dancers. In response, I did what I’d been instructed by the manager to do. I smiled at him, blowing him off as I continued dancing.

The reason I took a job at this club and not another was because the owners didn’t expect us dancers to dress like hookers. Tonight we wore black motorcycle boots, red shorts and black tank tops with the club logo on the front. It could definitely be worse. As long as I was decently covered and could move in the outfit, it didn’t matter to me.

The next song was the dance version of a Katy Perry track that reminded me of Caleb. Just what I needed, another reminder of my not-boyfriend, but not-quite-ex-boyfriend.

I would’ve liked to think I’d been avoiding him all week, but I hadn’t. Caleb didn’t come near me at school, call me after school or show up at my house. I got no opportunity to avoid him like he deserved.

It sucked and was totally deflating.

What was his deal?

He didn’t want to be together, only wanted to see me once a week and didn’t want to be with anyone else. It made no sense. Here he had a girl who was crazy about him, admittedly loved him and was simply asking for his love in return.

But, no, all he wanted was some half-ass non-relationship.

I’d been dissecting it all week and I didn’t think I had it in me to give him what he’d asked for. It was just plain sad.

So, maybe I’d found a rose under my windshield wiper on Tuesday and a newly released Blu-ray I’d been wanting in my locker on Friday. These little gifts during the week didn’t earn him my time on the weekend.

So, maybe I was pathetic enough that they’d brought a smile to my face. It didn’t mean I was pathetic enough to let him think he owned me.

Accompanying the rose had been a note that said, “Can’t wait till Saturday.”

Along with the movie had been a post-it that suggested, “An option for Saturday night.”

The fact he’d stood in the stands at the football game last night, watching me cheer, didn’t mean anything either. Even if his eyes had been on me instead of the game every time I’d glanced his way.

Lying in bed at night, I obsessed over what his real motives were. I was losing sleep and being tired at school sucked big time. I couldn’t figure him out.

He didn’t love me, but refused to let me go.

He didn’t want me as a full-time girlfriend, but was desperate to see me once a week.

In my most hopeful moments, I let myself believe he did love me but was too afraid to tell me. That the reason he wasn’t dating other girls was because he didn’t want anyone but me. Maybe a player needed time to adjust to falling in love. Maybe he did love me, but was too stubborn to realize it.

If that were the case, I could wait patiently for him to come to his senses and utter those three little words.

My new confidant, Ian, believed differently. So, yeah, my new best friend was Caleb’s worst enemy. Ian provided me with a weird insight into the minds of guys like them. Had I planned to become best buddies with a guy Caleb hated? Nope. Was I enjoying how much it annoyed Caleb? Maybe a little.