Danger! Bad Boy(39)

Not looking up at him, I explained, “Ian and I are just friends. The first night I went to the club three weeks ago to apply for the dancing position, he was there. He was very polite and asked if he could have my number. I figured, why not, and we’ve been hanging out since.”

“You used your fake id to get the job?”

“Duh,” I teased him, wondering how being with him could still feel so right after everything that had gone wrong between us.

“Are you going to break up with Seth?”

I had to think for a moment. I figured I’d eventually break up with Seth. He was falling too hard for me and I didn’t want to hurt him. The reason I’d gotten with him in the first place was no longer valid.

“I probably will soon.”

Caleb tensed, holding me tighter. “And then you’ll be with Ian?”

I pulled back from him, aggravated that he’d brought up Ian again. “Why do you even care who I’m with, Caleb? You didn’t want me.”



CALEB



Not want her?

I wanted her in so many different ways it scared me.

I wanted all of her, mind, body and soul. It was making me insane that I couldn’t have her. I was daydreaming constantly about murdering Julie. It was getting ridiculous how much I obsessed about finding a way for us to be together. I wasn’t able to concentrate in class, especially the two I had with Gianna. My teachers thought I was slacking off and I’d been reprimanded once or twice.

I wondered if I could convince Gianna to meet me here every weekend. Julie wouldn’t have to know. Maybe I should have told her about Julie’s threats. And maybe Gianna would become so mad with her mom she’d confront her and get shipped off to her dad.

“Gianna, I want to ask you something.”

Her facial expression was cautious. “Yeah, Caleb?”

Grabbing her hand, I held it in one of mine. “Can I see you sometimes?”

She looked mistrustful now. “What do you mean?”

I was nervous, needing to state my next words carefully. “Like on Saturdays. Can we spend Saturdays together? Before you got to work and after?”

“Why?” her voice cracked with emotion on the word. “Why are you doing this to me, Caleb?”

I quickly gathered her in my arms, offering her what comfort I could. “I’m not trying to hurt you, princess. I just need to spend time with you.”

She jumped up, standing a yard away with her arms crossed. “I don’t understand you. You don’t love me, you’ve been okay with our breakup for weeks, but now you need to see me each weekend?”

I ran a hand through my hair, wanting to tear it out in helplessness. “That isn’t entirely true. This is so complicated.”

She laughed humorlessly. “Tell me about it.” She was looking over my shoulder through the open blinds. Through my bedroom window, you could barely make out the top of the Denver skyline. “I should go, Caleb. This is a really bad idea.”

Gripping her arm, I brought her back to me. “Please don’t go.”

“Tell me why I shouldn’t,” she mumbled against my neck. Her soft lips on my skin made me want more of her.

Everything. Her laughter, her passion, her beauty.

I realized what she was asking, the words she longed to hear. I couldn’t let them pass my lips. If I did, how would I explain why it was impossible for us officially get back together?

Hell, I loved her so much. I skimmed fingers over her face, her lips, down her neck. Someday, I told myself. Someday I’d be able to speak freely of my love for her.

Instead, for now I told her, “Because this is where we both want to be, together.”

She slapped her hand against my chest. “You’re confusing me, Caleb. The way you look at me sometimes makes me think one thing, then the words you say have me thinking something else. You’re hurting me!”

I rubbed her back. “That’s the last thing I want to do, baby. Just know this, Gianna, I haven’t been with any other girls and I’m not going to be, as long as I can still have you sometimes.”

Not entirely true. Even if I couldn’t be with her, I had no plans to be with anyone else. I was desperate at this point. I’d tell her just about any lie to get her to agree.

Gianna scoffed, her pretty features looked disgusted. “You mean, if I let you have sex with me, you won’t be with anyone else?”

“That isn’t what I meant at all,” I backtracked, grinding my teeth in frustration.

Dammit! I couldn’t tell her I wouldn’t screw any other girls no matter what. For the moment, I needed to use that fear against her to get us back into some sort of relationship.