Damaged and the Beas(9)

Watching Cooper with my half-closed eyes, I wasn't sure why I thought he was so scary? He seemed gentle and beautiful. Just the boy next door with a few tattoos. He was really a sweetheart, and I read too much into his appearance.

"Do you have any siblings?" he asked, his voice sounding far away.

"A sister. Tawny. She's almost eighteen."

"Irish twins?"

Smiling, I nodded. "I miss her so much. She's my best friend, but she's gone."

One minute, I felt my eyes growing hot and wet from thinking about Tawny. The next minute, I heard knocking on the door and Cooper's voice low and distant. Opening my eyes, I realized I had fallen asleep. I checked for drool before watching him pay the delivery guy and locking the door.

When I started to stand, Cooper waved for me to stay put. "I'll get plates."

"Sorry about falling asleep."



       
         
       
        

"Yeah, you were halfway through a word and then you were out. I've never seen a sober person crash like that."

"The last couple weeks have been stressful."

When Cooper returned from the kitchen, I noticed he strutted no matter what he was doing. It wasn't a showoff thing in front of guys, but the actual way he walked. Cooper set down two cans of soda and then placed a slice of pizza on a plate and handed it to me.

"This one is heavy on the ham."

"Thank you," I said, taking a bite as my eyes fought to stay open. "I don't know why you want to hang out when I'm half asleep?"

Cooper leaned over and kissed me softly. His lips sucked on my bottom lip for a second before he pulled back and relaxed into the corner of the couch.

"You pout when you sleep."

"Huh?"

"Like an angry little pout," he said, demonstrating with his lips. "It's the hottest thing I've ever seen. I thought you might give me a real talking to like my old gym teacher. Man, did that bitch hate me."

"I'm sure she had her reasons."

Cooper snorted. "Of course, you'd take a stranger's side over the guy who's feeding you."

"Maybe you called her a bitch forty times."

"Yeah, there was that."

Forcing myself awake, I enjoyed the hot pizza. Never making a mess, Cooper ate three pieces without using a napkin. It was as if he willed the food into his mouth. He was the same way with his giant hamburgers. I'd never seen anything like it except with a man from Alabama who unlocked his jaws and shoved in whole burgers. Cooper didn't do anything so horrifying, but he managed to eat cleanly. One of his many skills, I assumed.

I ate a second piece as Cooper finished his fifth. When he offered me more, and I declined, he took the box and shoved it into the refrigerator.

"Does your mom have a guy?" Cooper asked, returning to the couch.

"I don't think so."

"She didn't tell you?"

"We don't talk."

"Why?"

Wiping my mouth, I set the empty plate on the coffee table and then glanced at him.

"Is your mom a bitch or something?" he asked when I didn't say anything.

"You think everyone is a bitch."

"Not my mom. She and I talk, though. Why don't you and your mom talk?"

"We don't know each other well."

"Do you want to know her well?"

"Not really."

"Fair enough," he said, leaning over and pressing me back on the couch. "Don't panic. Kissing isn't sex. Besides, you'll be asleep in a few minutes, so this is my last chance." 

My first instinct was to panic. I didn't like tattooed guys lying on top of me. I also didn't want my mom walking in on us. Hell, I didn't want any of this, but I believed Cooper when he said we were only kissing. I believed he wouldn't hold me down and force me. I wasn't sure why I believed him, but I did.

His lips were soft on mine, maybe sensing my fear. He wrapped an arm under the pillow behind my head while his free hand caressed my hair and cheek. He felt warm and strong, and I still believed he wouldn't take unless I offered. I was afraid to show enthusiasm and make him think I was offering. I wanted to kiss Cooper, maybe run my fingers through his hair and over his sharp jaw. I wanted to play a little, but not too much.

When I used both hands to stroke his face, he deepened the kiss. As his tongue tasted me in an agonizingly slow and thorough way, I felt the panic returning. I couldn't believe such a hungry kiss wouldn't lead to sex. Would he pull his lips away and leave with the erection I felt pressed against my leg? Would I need to "help him out" first?

My hands found his strong shoulders and pressed gently, wanting him to stop. Instead, he tightened his hold and groaned as his groin nudged against me. I didn't want to freak out, but I wasn't sure how to make him stop without screaming and going feral. Before I acted, Cooper simply stopped. His kisses softened until he was tenderly pressing his lips against mine.

"The reason," he whispered, caressing my cheek and neck with his lips, "guys obsess over these lips is because they're so fucking sexy. Soft too. Little pink pillows that taste sweeter than candy." When he lifted his gaze and stared at me, Cooper laughed. "You're pouting again."

Unsure what would happen next, I said nothing. Cooper spent another minute kissing my neck and then he climbed off of me and fell back into the corner groove of the couch. Running his hands through his hair, he sighed. "You're still pouting."

"It's my lips. They always look like that."

"No, they don't," he said, grinning. "I want to see you this weekend."

"I told you I'm getting settled in and need to study."

"A quick lunch."

"You want more than lunch."

"Yeah, but you won't give me what I want so I'll settle for lunch. Think about it as a free meal, plus my wonderful company. We can take a drive, and I'll show you fun places. Then when you're settled in, we'll visit those places, and I'll get what I want."

Glancing around the room as if looking for help from the walls, I didn't answer him.

"You're all alone here," he said, his voice softer now as his dark eyes studied me. "You and your mom don't get along. Your sister is gone. You're lonely, and I like you. I can help make your new life easier. There's nothing wrong with having a little fun. Just working and going to school will burn you out. See how rational I am? Now go to lunch with me."

"Just lunch."

"Yes."

"No detours."

"I promise nothing."

Shrugging, I sighed with frustration. "Okay, but not tomorrow. I have laundry to do. Sunday would be okay, though."

"See how easy that was? I don't know why you fight my charms when we both know it'd be a hell of a lot easier if you just said yes to everything."

"I'll try to remember that," I told him, standing up.

"Oh, yeah, you need to sleep."

Cooper took my hand and had me walk with him the six steps to the door. Cupping my face, he kissed me softly like the sweet boy next door. Could his crap be all for show? No, only a certain kind of person could hurt another human being without blinking an eye. I didn't have it in me, but Cooper did. While those jerks at the party had a beating coming, it wasn't Nick or anyone else who pounded in their faces. I suspected by morning Cooper would struggle to remember even why his knuckles were tender. Hurting those guys had meant that little to him.



       
         
       
        

Cooper would never be the easygoing boy next door. He still kissed me gently and gave me a very warm smile like we were old friends saying goodnight. I watched him from the window as he disappeared into the night. After the motorcycle had roared away, I looked around the apartment and realized everything still smelled of Cooper. The mix of sweat, soap, cologne and pizza made me shiver.

Despite my intention to keep Cooper at arm's length, I could still feel him on my lips. Tasted him too so I didn't brush my teeth that night. I fell asleep pretending he was a nice guy who wouldn't use and discard me.





Chapter Six


Saturday was spent doing laundry and schoolwork while thinking about Cooper. By the time Sunday arrived, I had fought the urge to bail on our date. Was it even a date? Should I tell him I was sick? Realizing he wouldn't believe me, I decided to roll with this new direction in my life.

Unsure what to wear to lunch; I wanted to look nice without looking too nice. Settling on jean shorts and a loose gray top, I figured any more effort might create the wrong impression. Or maybe it didn't matter. Likely, he would come around until I put out. Then he would forget my name as his brother said.

As I waited for Cooper, Amy appeared in the living room and looked me over.

"I'm going out with a friend," I told her.

"Okay."

"I'll be back early."

"You're an adult. You don't need to tell me what you're doing."

"Oh."

Amy retrieved a coke from the refrigerator and grabbed a pack of smokes before disappearing into her room. Much like with Cooper, I didn't know what I wanted from my mother? Did I want space and freedom? Or did I want a caring woman who gave a shit if I ended up dead?

With Cooper, I found him sexy and interesting. I enjoyed his teasing, but also felt he was making fun of me. He possessed all of the power. The only control I had was the ability to say no to sex. Eventually, this power would fade, and he'd move on.