Damaged and the Beas(51)

"Unless," Bailey interrupted, interested in us again, "Fuckwad keeps you barefoot and pregnant permanently."

"Why would he do that, though? If I were forever pregnant, he'd always have to drink alone. Don't be dumb."



       
         
       
        

"Don't call me dumb, bitch!"

A standoff occurred, and I had the urge to take off running from the food tent. It was stupid, but I remained very still until Bailey shrugged.

"Can't hit a chick who's all preggers. Wouldn't be classy."

Skye laughed. "I don't want kids until I'm almost forty. I want to have plenty of time to party. Once I'm too old to have fun, I'll have kids, and they'll be fun. Got it all planned out."

"I have nothing planned out," Bailey said, looking bored and ready to leave. "Why plan your life when you can just let it happen naturally?"

Both Maddy and I nodded like Bailey was onto something profound. Then Maddy looked at me and smiled. I hadn't really thought about her as a real friend because she and I never talked before. I didn't even think she wanted to be my friend but put up with me because she was with one brother and I was with the other. Yet we weren't so different. Maddy was alone in Ellsberg except for Tucker. Her friends were people aligned to Tucker. Her life was completely tied to the guy she loved.

As we returned to silently listening to the band play, I planned to make more of an effort with Maddy. Talk baby stuff since no one seemed interested in the subject except her. Maybe she was lonely, and I was too self-absorbed to notice until now. I even wondered if she had a Tawny back home.

By the time Cooper returned with Tucker, I felt closer to Maddy even though we hadn't spoken for the rest of lunch. I just saw her differently, and suddenly I didn't feel so alone in Ellsberg.

Cooper took my hand, and we walked over to where Aaron listened to another band play. Sitting on the other side of the picnic table, I leaned against Cooper as Aaron sketched in his book.

"Anything?" Aaron asked Cooper.

"Not a peep."

Frowning, I glanced between them. "What?"

"Patience," Cooper said, grinning.

Aaron smiled too and then returned to sketching. "Maddy wants her tribal fixed."

"Of fucking course she does. No one wants a tribal anymore. It's poser shit."

When Cooper glanced at me, I nodded like I knew what the hell he was talking about.

Still smiling, Aaron sighed. "Can't fix it while she's preggers. Scratch that. Won't fix it. If she gets freaked or something goes down, Tuck will kill me."

His gaze still on me, Cooper nodded. "For my next one, I'm leaning towards something badass. Black and gray, maybe religious."

"If you can give me the gist, I'll draw it, and we'll start working."

Cooper refused to look away from my face. Even when I glanced around like I was checking out the passing people, his gaze remained on me. Finally, I looked into his eyes and gave him what he wanted. A hint of a smile played at a corner of his lips and then he ran a hand down the back of my hair. When I frowned because he was acting weird, Cooper glanced at Aaron, who grinned. "She's not very perceptive." 

"To be young," Aaron replied.

"I got a new tattoo," Cooper told me, giving his friend a nod of appreciation. "Take a look."

On his wrist was my name in cursive. Staring at it, I wasn't sure what to say. Love could be temporary, but tattoos were forever.

"Lord," Cooper grumbled, "there's no pleasing you."

Lifting my gaze to meet his, I knew he was angry. No doubt when Maddy saw her name on Tucker's wrist, she lost her mind and blew out a few eardrums with her squealing. I wasn't Maddy, though.

"Um, is that for me?"

"It's your fucking name, so yeah."

"It's just that I just assumed that," I babbled, struggling for a way around his irritation, "if you got a tattoo in my honor that it would be like a big replicate of my face on your back or something. You know, complete with my giant lips."

Puckering up for him, I waited to see if Cooper's feelings were soothed. Just as I hoped, he laughed and high-fived Aaron.

"Hell yeah. Screw a religious tat. Let's get her face on my back."

Laughing too, I ran a finger over the fresh tattoo. "Can you imagine how weird my face would look blown up like that?"

"I'll do it," Cooper said, staring hard at me. "You think I won't, but you're wrong."

"Please, don't."

"Why?" he asked, a hint of irritation still around the edges of his expression.

"Because if we have sex near a mirror, and I saw my face looking back at me, then I might freak out. Or at the very least, lose my loving feeling."

Grinning, Cooper gave me a soft kiss. "You lie like shit."

"I never had any complaints before I met you."

"People are either stupid or humoring you. Likely both."

"Um, I'm not getting your name tattooed on me."

"Really?" Cooper said, pulling me closer. "I was thinking something like the words 'Property of Cooper Johansson' on your forehead. Unless you think that's too subtle?"

"And if we break up, I could just get bangs."

"We're never breaking up," Cooper murmured, resting his lips on my shoulder. "If you die, I'm dating your corpse."

"I'm being cremated."

"I'll date your urn."

"My urn already has a boyfriend. They're really serious too."

Cooper laughed against my neck and then wrapped himself around my waist, swallowing me up with his warm embrace.

"My pop has my mom's name on his wrist," Cooper whispered against my cheek. "Underneath, he has my name along with the lesser crap kids he got stuck with."

"I'm in college," I blurted out.

"Yeah, I remember you mentioning that."

"Tattoos. Kids. Dating my corpse. Seems serious."

Leaning back, Cooper adjusted me, so I rested against his chest. "I always planned to settle down when I was an old fart like my pop. Meet some cute piece of jailbait and make a few bad seeds plus one decent kid I could trust with the family business. Instead, here I am not even done with college with a tattoo of my girl's name on my wrist."

"You could change your mind."

"I won't. You're a keeper."



       
         
       
        

"I could change my mind," I said, wiggling my brows at him.

"Who would you replace me with? Seriously, look around and see what shit pickings you have to choose from. I'm the best you'll ever do, baby."

"You are pretty sexy. Tall too. Yeah, I can see keeping you around."

A grinning Cooper glanced at Aaron. "I'm so whipped."

"It's pretty nauseating, yeah."

Ignoring them as they discussed more tattoo stuff I didn't care about, I ran my finger over Cooper's wrist. I traced the letters of my name and tried to be rational. Cooper could turn on me at any time. Ditch me and forget my name. Except now it was on his flesh, and I couldn't be rational anymore. A man I hungered for despite my best judgment had marked his body with my name. He also expected to add more names when we had children.

A part of me never thought I'd be loved for the real me. Instead, I'd always pretend for my dull husband. It wasn't that he would judge me, but I would always worry he might. Dull husband wouldn't push my buttons and force the truth out like Cooper had. I would hide, and dull husband would never know the real me.

Of course, I was assuming a nice guy would want someone who cried during sex. I had been assuming a lot when I built those dreams, but I never knew how messed up I really was until meeting Cooper. Bosses liked me. Coworkers liked me. Teachers liked me. I was likable. Safe and normal. Now I realized I might hide my damage well, but it was still there.

Yet Cooper loved me.

Lifting my gaze to his face, I found him watching me silently. I hadn't even noticed the conversation dying down. Aaron was flipping through papers and Cooper stared at me in the needy way he sometimes did.

"You got my name tattooed on you," I whispered.

"I'd like to leave now," he whispered back as his gaze grew needier. "Would you be okay with that?"

"Only if we're going somewhere to be alone."

Cooper's eyes searched my face and then he swallowed hard. As I stood and Cooper followed, Aaron just grinned.

"Later, Coop."

"You'll know one day."

Still grinning, Aaron returned to sketching. Cooper took my hand, and we made good time back to his truck. I was so excited to be alone with him that I nearly sat on the balloon I had tied to the loop on my jeans. Cooper laughed and then punched the balloon out of his way so he could kiss me.

"I'd do you right here," he mumbled against my lips.

"No fucking way," I said, knowing there were a hundred people in the parking lot.

Cooper let me go so he could start the truck. "You're naked as soon as we hit my apartment." 

"I'll start unbuttoning things now to prepare," I said, laughing as I undid my jeans and pulled the laces on my shoes.

Cooper forced himself to focus so we could leave the parking lot without running over anyone. Soon, we hauled ass down the highway to his house. By then, I had my shoes and socks off. My bra was unsnapped. I even leaned over and unbuttoned his jeans. Cooper gave me a cocky smile, and I knew what that look meant. Hell yeah, we were having fun tonight.