Damaged and the Beas(35)

"Mixing alcohol isn't a nerd move, Farah," he teased, helping me put on my shirt even though I was missing my bra. "If you need to puke, let me know, and I'll hold your hair back."

Laughing, I almost fell over, but Cooper scooped me up into his arms and picked up my sandals. As he carried me out of the room and down the hall, I nuzzled my face against his neck. Even certain he would drop me, I soon rested inside a truck.

"Whose car is this?" I asked, confused and worried he might hand me off to the next guy.

"I'm borrowing it since I'm fairly sure you'd fall off the bike. Rest and I'll get you home."

"I'm sorry I ruined your fun," I babbled, leaning over against him. "I don't know what I'm doing. Do you?"

Even in the dark, I could see he was unhappy. Cooper still gave me a little smile. "Just rest, baby."

"Don't dump me," I begged, clawing at his shirt. "I can do better. I won't cry, and I'll be really good. I promise. Please, don't dump me."



       
         
       
        

Frowning darkly, Cooper glanced at me, and I thought he wanted to dump me right there.

"Don't cry. It kills me when you cry," he whispered, giving a deep sigh.

I opened my mouth to say something really profound that would keep him interested in me. The next thing I knew, I woke up alone in my bed. The room was dark, and I felt too weak to get up. Falling back to sleep, I wondered if Cooper would remember my name in the morning.





Chapter Fifteen


Waking up to a sick stomach and dull headache, I figured it could be worse. My hand touched between my legs and found the area slightly tender. Closing my eyes, I fell asleep for a short time before knocking at my window got me up. Cooper stood outside with a cup in each hand. Hurrying around to the front room, I opened the door and inhaled the wonderful smell of coffee.

"How are you feeling?" he asked with a sweetly concerned look on his beautiful face.

"Okay," I said, taking the cup of coffee.

"Did you get sick last night?"

"No, I just crashed and woke up feeling kinda crappy."

Sitting on the couch, Cooper frowned. "You're not pissed at me, are you?"

"Why would I be?"

"You were drunk and we …  You do know what we did, right?"

"I wanted to. I told you that."

"Yeah, but I thought you might wake up and figure it was a mistake, and I'm an ass."

"I'm not mad at you. I am a little shocked you remember my name, but otherwise, we're good."

Sighing, Cooper leaned back and draped his arm across the back of the couch. "I keep saying you're special and not like the other girls, and you keep waiting for me to forget your name."

"I was teasing you."

"No, you weren't."

Easing into a chair, I sipped the coffee. "I'm sorry."

"Come to my house today."

Lifting my gaze to his face, I saw Cooper waiting for me to say no.

"I'm not feeling that great."

"I know and sitting in this tiny apartment won't make you feel better. When my mom gets hung over, she likes to sit in the sun. We've got the hot tub too. It's relaxing."

"That sounds nice," I said, standing up. "I'll get dressed."

"Don't worry about a swimsuit. You can borrow one of Bailey's again."

I started for my room and then stopped next to the couch. "I'm sorry I cried last night. I know that's lame."

Cooper glanced at me and his gaze darkened. "We both know why you were crying, and you should never apologize for that." 

Nodding, I left to get dressed in shorts and a loose lavender shirt. Returning to the living room, I found Cooper looking out of the window.

"How did you get the coffees here?" I asked, making stupid chitchat.

"Brought my truck. Figured you might not feel up to riding the bike."

"Thanks."

As soon as I had my backpack on, Cooper reached for my hand. We quietly walked through the hot morning to his truck, and I slid inside. Cooper joined me and reached for the air conditioning. I touched his hand while setting my coffee in the cup holder.

"Can we have the windows open? The fresh air will probably help."

Cooper nodded. "Sure, baby. Just rest."

The smell of late summer had an intoxicating effect on me, and I dozed off. When the truck stopped, I figured we were at the Johansson place. Instead, I turned my head to find us parked on the side of the road and Cooper staring out the front window with an angry frown. I was just about to ask if he was okay when he pounded on the steering wheel. As the truck shook, I squirmed closer to the door, ready to run.

Cooper stopped pounding and stared out of the window again. "Last night was a mistake," he said in a rough voice.

"Why?"

"I keep saying you're special, but last night wasn't special. You were drunk, and we were on some guy's bed, and I should have stopped."

"I had to be drunk or else I'd have been too nervous, but I wanted to be with you."

Cooper glanced at me, and I felt uneasy under his gaze. "You have this effect on my heart. When I think I'm losing you, my chest hurts like I'll die. It makes me crazy, and I thought I'd lost you because of last night. Then you were all cool with it, but you should be angry. Last night was shit. You were drunk and scared, and I don't think you liked any of it. I should have stopped myself, but I felt weak, and I wanted you so bad that I fucked up."

"Cooper, if you really think I'm special and want to be with me, we'll have other chances. The first time was probably going to be weird anyway, just because I'm weird about sex."

Glancing at me, he frowned. "Why did you tell me you weren't a virgin?"

"I'm not."

Cooper eyed me angrily. "How many guys have you said yes to?"

Shrugging, I looked out the window. "Who cares?"

"If some guy fucked my sister the way I fucked you, I'd kick his ass. And if the asshole told me he loved my sister, I'd tell him he was full of shit. Last night, there was a moment when I knew you weren't ready, and it was your first time, and I thought to stop. I didn't though."

Cooper said a lot of important things, but like any girl I focused on the word we all wanted to hear from a guy. Instead of responding to the magical word, though, I focused on calming his self-directed anger.

"If you had stopped, I probably would have cried anyway. I would have felt embarrassed and might not have given you another chance."

"Don't bullshit me. You had to get drunk to sleep with me. You actually fucking said those words and I just thought about how much I wanted you, and it would all be fine."

"It is fine."

Sighing, Cooper started the truck. "You know what I said."

Realizing he was talking about his feelings for me, I nodded. "Things inside me are all jumbled up."

"I'm not asking you to say it back. I'm asking you to let me give you a better time. I don't want last night to be your first time."

"It wasn't."

Cooper smashed his fists on the steering wheel and exhaled angrily. "What happened before doesn't count! You fucking know that, right? It didn't count. You were a virgin last night, and I fucked up."



       
         
       
        

"Okay!" I yelled, shaking from his rage. "You fucked up! Let it go and drive me to your house or take me home. Just stop scaring the shit out of me."

Glaring at me, Cooper didn't put the car into drive. "Why are you with me?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging as I looked out the window. "I just like being with you. I like the way I feel when I'm with you."

"Even now?"

"Yeah, even now," I told him, finally meeting his gaze. "If you want to make things up to me, why are you yelling and acting scary? How does that make it better?"

"It doesn't, but you have to understand something," he said, holding my gaze. "I'm fucking perfect."

Despite my common sense, I laughed at the sincerity behind his words. Cooper gave me a tiny grin.

"I don't fuck up. I don't do stupid shit. I'm the smart one in my family. Tucker fucks up. Bailey acts emotionally. I don't do that. It's why I have to be the lawyer. Why my pop wants me to take over for him when he's ready to sit on his ass and pretend he's retired. I'm the perfect one, but there was nothing perfect about last night. I just wanted you, and I lied about the rest. I knew I'd fallen hard for you, and I figured that meant I could keep going, and it would be fine. The perfect part of me knew I had it backward. You were special, and I needed to stop. I hate that I let myself be so stupid. I don't want to be Tucker."

"Who would?" I said, grinning.

Cooper laughed. "I know, right?"

Even with the urge to take my chances walking home rather than remain tied to this complicated man, I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over to kiss him.

"You make me stupid too, Coop," I said, grazing his lips with mine. "You make me crazy and scared, but I like you so much that it feels worth it. I wish I knew if my feelings were love. I wish I could make a declaration, but I'm not used to having nice things. No matter how much you scare me, you are a very nice thing, and I never dreamed I'd have a shot at keeping you interested. I'm glad I was wrong."