Count On Me(60)

There are girls that give me dirty looks, but because they used to do that anyway, it’s almost like things are the same as always. The name calling is still there and even some new names are added, ones I don’t understand, but I don’t think I’m supposed to. Something does happen though that even with all of his warnings, I didn’t see coming.

Dillon has been spending more time around us lately. Kayden is still staying as far away from the others as he can, but Dillon doesn’t let him do it all the way. It’s so strange. For the last two days now, he’s been sitting with us under the tree and though he gets looks for it, he doesn’t seem bothered.

I guess I was right about him after all. He misses Kayden and he’s trying to do whatever he has to in order to prove it to his old friend, even though Kayden still doesn’t trust it. He’s tolerating it though and I know why. He’s doing it for me because he thinks it’s what I want. What he doesn’t realize is that I want what he’s comfortable with. If Dillon being here isn’t what he wants, it’s okay.

It’s like my mom taught me. We all have a choice. I believe that Dillon means what he says, but Kayden doesn’t and it’s alright for us to handle it differently.

I’m just glad that things haven’t changed with us. When I showed up at school the next day, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to act, but Kayden made it pretty clear that just because we were together, it didn’t mean things had to be different.

He holds my hand as he walks me to classes now and makes sure to kiss my forehead or brush his lips against mine before leaving me to make it to his own. That’s the only difference. It makes me feel better knowing that just because our relationship changed, we don’t have to change with it.

At least that’s how I felt until I start seeing the cheerleaders decorating the school for Homecoming.

I might not have any experience with being a part of one before, but I do know what a big deal it is, at least for the people that go here. It’s the chance for everyone to let loose and have fun even though it takes a ton of work to get to that point. It’s the one time where people that normally walk the halls alone, become part of a couple and talks of dresses, football games and after parties are common.

Watching the cheerleaders selling tickets as we pass in the hall just reminds me of what’s coming and how different things really are. Is he going to want to go with me and if he does, why hasn’t he asked me yet? Would going with me embarrass him too much? Is that why he’s so silent about it, even though everywhere we go it seems to be staring us in the face?

I’m not bringing it up. I’m not sure if I want to put myself through it, much less questioning why he hasn’t asked me. There’s a small part of me though, that does hope he asks because it’s always just been me standing on the outside looking in and this time, with Kayden by my side, it doesn’t have to be.

His practice schedule is increased because of the Homecoming game in a few days. I’ve never actually been to a football game, not understanding sports at all, but I would go for him. Plus, I know Tristan would love it, but it’s just another thing that hasn’t come up. Another way we’ve changed.

Kayden isn’t the only one who is being quiet about things. My mom came through and I’m going to see my doctor. I want to tell him about it, but with how busy things are around here, especially with him and football, I can’t do it. He’s been so good to me this past week and I know he would drop it all to be there. I can’t let him do that.

“Hey. You’re doing it again.”

This isn’t the first time he’s caught me lost in thought. I’m pretty sure he’s caught me every time I’ve done it. Looking up at him and smiling though, seems to do the trick. He stops in the middle of the hall, just like always and he touches my face where my lips are raised, almost as if, just like the first time, he’s blown away that it’s even happening at all.

Like he thinks this is a dream.

“Is your mom still okay with me coming over after practice?”

I nod and that’s when I’m rewarded. He grins at me and just like every other time he’s done it this week, it makes his eyes crinkle. That’s probably the coolest thing about Kayden. I can see myself reflected like a mirror in his eyes and my smile is as big as his. I wonder if because my eyes are lighter, the same thing happens to him.

“Awesome.” He answers, before pulling me into his arms and stroking my hair, another thing he’s been doing a whole lot more of lately. “Have I told you lately how great it is that your mom is okay with this?”