Count On Me(59)

That’s what is so damn hard to handle with Isabelle. She’s like a life preserver that can save me from drowning. She probably always has been, but because I chose the anger over anything else that might have been available, I didn’t know until now. It makes me want to grab on to her and never let go. I can see what my mom wished for every single time I look in her eyes because she brings me to the place where I know I’m better than the way I’ve been raised.

It’s more than just that old stuff I’m remembering though. I also remember her talking to me about Isabelle.

“Isabelle isn’t like the other girls, Kayden. I can’t put my finger on it, but that little girl is better. She’s gonna need a good boy like you when she’s older.”

Isabelle really isn’t like other girls. She is different, somehow better. Looking at the way she looks now, under the dimness of the street light, I’ve never seen another person that looks more beautiful. I’ve spent so long looking at her issues and not at her that somewhere along the way I forgot everything my mom said to me. I hadn’t been there when she needed me. I was the one she needed to be protected from.

That’s all over now. I’m never going to be someone she has to fear again. If I have to spend the rest of my life proving that to her then that’s what I’ll do, because what I didn’t see then, I see now. She really is better, but my mom was wrong about one part. She doesn’t need me.

I’m the one that needs her.

Almost telling her how I feel about her, letting those three words slip because I felt them so strongly, was a stupid move. After hearing her laughter and seeing her face brighten as she finally smiled for me, the only thing I could think about was how much I love her. I didn’t stop myself because I don’t want her to know, I did it because when I finally do say the words to her, I won’t be taking them back and I want it to be perfect.

As great as this moment is, having her close to me, able to breathe in her scent, experience what it feels like to have my hands on her body, it’s not perfect. I don’t know when it will be, but I’m willing to wait.

I can tell that I’ve freaked her out not wanting the phones anymore. I’m tired of talking and it isn’t because I’m the only one speaking. If anything, I think communicating the way she has been makes me see and experience what normally I just don’t when people talk to me. I’m able to hear her loud and clear and she doesn’t have to say a word.

Not wanting to talk, it’s selfish. I want to kiss her again. I’ve been thinking of nothing but kissing her since the day in the park. It’s just gotten worse since I saw her before practice today. I had to stop myself from kissing her the moment she came outside to meet me. That’s how powerful the urge is and I’m losing the fight.

“Can I kiss you?”

I’ve never had to ask a girl to kiss me before. Me taking away her phone, I know it’s going to bother her that she can’t answer me, but this isn’t a question I’m looking for an actual answer to, at least not one that’s verbal. The answer will be in her eyes and looking at me now, I see that she doesn’t disappoint.

She’s giving me all the answer I need.

I trace my finger across her lips and like magic they part for me, her breath releasing, warming me. Keeping my eyes locked on hers, determined not to look away and miss the way she looks in the moment, I lean myself in closer until my own lips are resting dangerously close to hers.

“I’m going to kiss you now…”

The second the words fall, I press my lips to hers and it’s as if everything in me is finally set right. The softness I felt before greets me again and with every move our lips make from that moment on, she’s with me every step of the way. I feel my eyes closing, no longer focused on seeing her, only experiencing her and it’s in that moment that I’m completely lost.

She owns me.





Chapter Eighteen



Belle



I’ve never noticed before, but when something really big happens to you, it’s pretty amazing how quickly everything changes.

It’s been exactly a week since Kayden sat outside my house and asked me to be his girlfriend. It means there’s been a week of us being together and a week at school where everyone seems to know about it.

He warned me that because of his reputation and the past he had with a lot of the girls, going back wouldn’t be easy. With the way I’m used to being treated, I didn’t see how it could be much worse. I know how popular he is and what him being with me means. As sweet as he is worrying about me, I expect everything that happens.