Count On Me(51)

“Actually, it’s Isabelle and yeah, it’s because of her. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“So that means she didn’t talk to you then?”

“She talked to me.”

It’s true. She told me earlier what she thinks, but I’m not buying into it and a few words in the locker room isn’t gonna change it. He might make you believe that he’s different and can be a good person, but he will never change. He’s too damn good at being who he is.

I should know. I trained him to be that way.

“Then she told you that I’m sorry right? That I miss hanging out with you?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“So can we get past this? It really is bullshit, K.”

It might be bullshit for him, but it would never be that way to me. The way things used to be doesn’t work for me now, which means I don’t think I can ever be friends with him again.

“What you did is bullshit. The way you put Amy and the other bitches on her is bullshit, but the way I’m reacting isn’t.”

“What else can I say to you? I went to her, told her I was sorry and exactly why I was sorry. What else do you want?”

“This conversation to end.”

I know I’m being a total douche to him, but he more than earned it. I’m here to play ball, that’s it. I don’t want to sit here with Dillon and hash out everything that’s happened or why I’m not cool with it anymore. I just want him to shut the hell up so I can finish getting ready and get the hell out on the field.

“If the girl I hurt can forgive me for what happened, why can’t you?”

He doesn’t say another word after that and with the sound of the door banging shut; I know he’s not even sticking around to hear the answer. As much as I don’t want him getting to me, I can’t help it. I know the answer to the question, but I’m not exactly in the mood to admit it out loud.

I can’t forgive Dillon the way he claims Isabelle has for a couple of reasons. One, I know who he really is and I know he’s not trying to be a better guy. He’s just trying to play a part. He’s one of the best actors I know. The second reason though, that’s the one that’s hard to live with.

The real reason I can’t forgive Dillon, is if I forgive him then I have to at some point forgive myself for putting all of this in motion to begin with. I might not have been the one to pick her out in the beginning, but I didn’t do a damn thing to stop it once it started.

Isabelle might have forgiven us both for the horrible things we’ve done and that’s really great, but he doesn’t deserve it and deep down, I don’t think I do either.





Chapter Sixteen



Belle



“Belle honey, you’ve barely touched your dinner. Does the girl's being back at school have something to do with it?”

I’ve been doing this since she got home and I should’ve known that she was going to notice eventually. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to talk to her about everything I’ve been going through, but every single time I feel like I’m getting close to doing it, I find a reason to stop.

As much as I say that I’m gonna be okay with however she reacts to everything I tell her, I’m not. If she tells me that I need to stay away from Kayden, especially with everything he’s done for me the past couple of weeks, I think I might die inside. She knows Kayden, so she probably won’t say that, but it’s been a really long time since he spent any time with our family.

“No, Mom.”

“Well then what’s on your mind, and don’t tell me it’s nothing.”

Now’s my chance to open up, but with Tristan sitting across the table from me, his eyes darting back and forth between us, it’s not like I’m dying to open up.

“I can’t talk about it right now.”

I raise my eyes in my brother’s direction and she seems to take the hint easily.

“Tristan honey, you’ve been done your dinner for fifteen minutes now. Why aren’t you asking to be excused?”

“Because I got something I wanna show Isabelle.”

“If I promise to send her up to your room the minute we’re done, will you give your sister and me some privacy?”

My mom’s real big on giving us choices. At any point he can tell her no and she’ll just postpone our conversation until he’s out of ear shot. It’s the way it’s always been here. Even with everything she’s been through with me, she still gives me a choice, even when it’s something small and basic like the one she’s giving Tristan now.

“I guess, but you better make sure she comes up because it’s super important.”