Complicate Me(21)

Before we started growing up.

“It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s what you want,” he alleged, his voice broken and torn.

That was what made me look up at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know.”

“Remind me then,” I challenged.

“You just want to hear me say the words, Half-Pint, and I’m not going to because then I would have to lock you in this house. And we both know that’s not going to happen.”

I sighed, “Bo, I’ve accepted that you’ve grown up. I accept everything you do and I’m still your brown eyed girl.”

He threw the ball a few more times, contemplating what to say, I was sure. It echoed through the room, mirroring my tolerance for his next words to me.

“That’s exactly it. I fuck, Half-Pint.”

It fell from his lips so easily, making me loudly gasp, surprised as hell. He’s never had the audacity to admit that to me, and for some reason I had the feeling that he was aware that I already knew. He would have never spoken to me like that otherwise.

“I don’t care about anyone other than you,” he followed, still throwing the damn ball against the wall. Which now mirrored my heart. I hated everything he shared because I knew he meant it and all it did was add to the pile of confusion.

For us…

For me…

“You’re not like that. I know it and you do too. So when the time comes, you won’t be my brown eyed girl anymore. You’ll be his, and that’s the truth between us.”

I sat there blindsided with a parted mouth, taking in every word as if he recited poetry. It flowed through my mind making its way to my heart where he would forever be engrained.

“You’re a good girl, Alexandra. That’s what makes you my Half-Pint. You’re the calm to my storm. It’s always been that way,” he paused to let his words sink in. “You’re my refuge.”

Tears fell from my eyes, down the sides of my face, and into a puddle where his emotions now lay beside mine. I couldn’t stop the tears, and for the first time I didn’t want to.

So I said the only thing that I knew to be true. “I love you, Bo,” I wept my voice breaking.

He hit his head against the wall, the ball no longer flowed through the air, but it was tightly gripped in the palm of his hand. His eyes shut like what I just expressed caused him pain. It only made me cry harder.

Then the ball unexpectedly hurled through the air, hitting the wall so hard it broke through the drywall. He immediately stood and was over to the door in three strides, opening it and stopping right before he stepped out onto the deck.

With a bowed head and soft voice he said, “I love you, too.” And then he was gone.

Only adding to the times…

That he walked away from me.

Lucas always comforted me. With his arms, his words, his expressions, even when he was hurting me. He was as much my refuge as I was his. I lay there for the rest of the evening, staring at the hole in the wall and letting the music lull me.

Waiting.

I heard the door open and close. I felt his presence as he sat beside me gently lifting my head into his lap. I closed my eyes while he lovingly stroked my hair.

Softly humming…

My Brown Eyed Girl.





I watched him walk in from the corner of my eye. It had been a few days since I first saw him. He sat out on the deck, and I made my way out there, tray in hand. I placed it on the table, and he smiled the same dimply grin that made my belly flutter and my palms sweaty.

“The boys didn’t scare you off, huh?” I joked with a hint of amusement in my voice and a hand firmly positioned at my hip.

“I like to live life on the edge.” He leaned back in his chair as he looked up at me with a slight glimmer in his gaze. “You’re too pretty to stay away from.”

The crimson red crept along my cheeks, immediately making me feel hot all over. I ignored his comment and moved the glass of water, with the chips and salsa from the tray to the table, not meeting his fixated glare that was intently placed on my flushed face.

“I really need to stop blushing around you,” I admitted, handing him the napkins.

“Please don’t,” was all he said.

I smiled, peeking up at him through my lashes.

“So, Alexandra—”

“You can call me Alex.”

“Can I now?” he teased. “What if I don’t want to?”

I raised an eyebrow, trying to hide the smile from my face.

“Alex is a boy name and you darlin’, are no boy.”

I giggled and it seemed foreign coming from my body. I sounded like a girl, and I tried to pretend that I didn’t love that.

“Besides, Alexandra is a beautiful name and it suits you just fine.”

I nodded while I pursed my lips, making him cock his head to the side. “Are you enticing me, beautiful girl?”

“Wow,” I breathed out. “You are quite the flirt, huh? This work for you back home?”

He smiled, big and wide and folded his arms over his chest. “I don’t know, is it working for me now?”

I smiled back, shrugging. “Where you from anyway?”

“You change the subject when you’re shy and you ignore compliments, good to know. I’m from California.”

I smirked. “Ah, hence the surfing.”

“Hence she says,” he teased again.

“Are you done?”

He shook his head with a proud look on his face. “I haven’t even started, darlin’.”

“Where in California?”

I could see that he wanted to call me out on the fact that he was right about everything he claimed. “Santa Barbara.” But he didn’t. “Ever been?”

“No. I’ve never been anywhere before.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Well coming from someone who has been everywhere, there’s something to be said about a small town girl.”

I jerked back with lowered eyebrows.

“In the best possible way that is,” he added after taking in my grimace. “This is the first time I’ve been to Oak Island, though.”

“You should check out the pier or umm, the lighthouse.”

“You should show me,” he quickly followed.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I mean you’re my only friend and all.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I stated with a grin.

He put up three fingers. “Scouts Honor.”

I laughed. “What would you like to order?”

He grabbed the menu, looking at it for a few seconds and moving his head side-to-side to the music playing from the speakers. “I’ll take the gator bites and a cheeseburger with curly fries.”

“Coming right up.”

“And, I’ll take you as a tour guide for a day.”

I peered up at him while writing his order on my pad of paper. “I work every day this week.”

“Next week?”

“I don’t know yet,” I lied.

“Yes, you do. Oh, come on, don’t make me beg.”

I narrowed my eyes at him in laughter.

“It’s not a date if that’s what you’re thinking. Not that I would mind that, but I just think we should get to know each other before you fall in love with me.”

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped.

“You’ll see,” he simply stated.

I shook my head because quite frankly I had no clue how to respond to that, and I wasn’t going to pretend that I did. I spun and left him sitting completely pleased with the effect that he had on me. There was no hiding it.

Cole Hayes was something else.

I just hadn’t figured out what that was yet.





We sat inside at our usual table, sitting directly across from where I could see Alex. I watched her talking to Cole, anxiously wanting to know what went through her mind. What she thought about. What she felt. What she wanted. I imagined it had something to do with the pretty boy who sat in front of her. I ignored the plaguing assumptions and directed my attention back to her.

The way she blushed.

The way she smiled.

The way she pursed her lips when she was nervous.

How her head would tilt back when she laughed, always laughing with her entire body that had Cole quickly mirroring her contagious laughter. How her hand would instinctively find her cocked hip, waiting to emphasize her sassy comments and witty stance. All the feisty mannerisms that made her who she was, all the little things that I loved so much about her, Cole witnessed with a fascinating regard of complete and utter devotion. He couldn’t look away even if he wanted to.

And he didn’t want to.

He was completely mesmerized with our Half-Pint, wanting to know more. Wanting to know everything. Both of them entirely wrapped up in each other, oblivious to anyone or anything around them.

As much as I hated seeing her flirt with someone who wasn't me and trust me, I fucking despised it. I couldn't take my goddamn eyes away from her. My gaze solely focused on her and her alone. I barely paid any attention to him or at least I tried not to. The crazy thing about it was that I watched her hundreds of times, shit it may have been thousands by that point. I often wondered if she knew half of what I truly took in, my eyes could sense her presence anywhere. I gravitated toward her. She was like a magnet to me. It had always been that way, especially when we were kids. At times, I felt like it was mutual, that we were connected in a way that neither one of us understood. But as I sat there taking her in, watching her every move, I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me question the bond we had.