Commanding Her Seal (Plus Bonus Novella)(29)
“I’m jealous,” he said, only half teasing as his lungs hitched.
“You know how to fix that, right?” Her thumb randomly traced along his knee. “Don’t reenlist. Come back here when your year is up.”
“To the Caribbean?” But the qualification was unnecessary. The moment the concept unfolded in his chest, he could breathe again. “Like forever?”
Forever in paradise. The idea sank into his heart, and he knew then he’d never dislodge it.
“Why not? Charlie, you were made for this place. I saw your smile when you came down from parasailing. That’s when I decided I wasn’t letting you get away. You love the water and respect the marine life. You told me you’re a certified scuba diver. The Caribbean seems like a no-brainer for you too.”
Best of all, it wasn’t the States. No one cared who his father was here; the island way rarely included last names. He could be a beach bum and drink beer for as long as he wanted to. Which would last about two days until he got bored. He’d have to find something to do with his time. A way to make a living. And in a flash, he knew exactly what he wanted to do.
“You’ve already won the Perfect Woman award,” he growled. “Are you aiming for Best Mind Reader too?”
She laughed. “Not hard to read your mind when it’s all over your face every time I look at you.”
“Then you must know you’re hard to leave too,” he said quietly before he thought better of it. Touchy subject. It wasn’t fair to go down this path. Sometimes being the Saint was an ill fit.
She froze and he cursed, nearly biting his tongue off in the process. But really, was it a bad idea to talk about what had to be on both their minds? Maybe the right thing to do would be to lay it all on the line. No fear.
“Come on, Audra. Surely it wasn’t an accident that you suggested I return to the Caribbean on the heels of telling me you hope to land in Freeport. When I get out of the Navy, would it be so bad to reconnect?”
“Don’t do this, Charlie.” Her voice broke and she sat up, taking her pleasant heat with her. But she didn’t turn around in favor of staring out over the water. “You’re leaving. Just like all the men in my life.”
The paradox of their hookup. He hated hurting her. Besides, that’s what he was trying to avoid.
“Hey.” He reached out automatically but made himself stop before touching her back. “Yeah, I have to leave. That’s why this is so hard. This was supposed to be a fling. Fun. Sex. A few thrills. You know that’s not the extent of what happened.”
Be brave, he wanted to shout. Like always. Don’t deny what we’ve got going on here.
His heart clenched when she nodded. “It scares me. I don’t like putting my faith in someone who may or may not come back.”
Trust was not something either of them gave lightly. He got that. He was trying to change things.
To hell with it. He pulled her back into his arms, holding her as tightly as he could without breaking her. But she was no fragile hothouse flower, easily snapped. Her fierce embrace matched his.
“I’ll be back,” he assured her, and it felt right, like he’d finally figured out who he was going to be when he grew up—a man who could put his past away and start something new with a woman he could trust. “We’ll pick up exactly where we left off. Maybe we can skype each other while I’m deployed.”
Which was the worst thing he could have suggested. The reception in Iraq was crap, but he couldn’t stand the thought of waiting a whole year to see her again. It was going to be hard enough to go that long without touching her. But changing things meant doing something different. Taking a leap.
She shook her head. “No promises. I’d rather not hold you to something that you can’t fulfill.”
“Then how about we take it slow. See what works.”
Audra didn’t answer for so long his chest started going numb. But finally she nodded. “I like slow. I could do slow.”
“The year will fly by.” That was a lie; it would crawl like pouring frozen maple syrup out of a jar. But he wanted something to hold on to.
Apparently she did too, because she turned to him, moonlight beaming across her gorgeous, brave smile. “I’ll be here, Charlie St. Croix. Come back soon.”
That was one command he had no problem vowing to honor.
Charlie flew to Coronado the next day, his heart a lot lighter than he’d expected. He had a year to organize the next phase of his life. The Caribbean called to him, and he planned to answer by opening his own excursion company. He already had a name: Aqueous Adventures.