Commanding Her Seal (Plus Bonus Novella)(27)

“It was a long time ago.” She shifted, resting her head on his bicep so she could look at him. “I wanted you to know why Isaac is so important to me. Why I was in such a weird mood all day.”

“I wouldn’t have asked.”

“I know. Because I made such a big deal about not getting into our personal lives. That’s why I told you. You don’t pry, and with anyone else, I’d chalk that up to not caring. But you still seem to have some kind of sixth sense when it comes to what I need. Obviously you’re paying attention.” Her gaze bored into his, something shimmering in her depths, but hell if he could figure out what. “I like that. Probably too much.”

He got that. Because he was in the throes of something similar. “Chalk it up to the fact that we’re never going to see each other again. There’s safety in that. Enough that I’ve jumped into something deeper than I was expecting.”

Her lips curled up. “Yeah, I was trying to figure out how to say that without coming across as demanding or needy.”

He rolled his eyes. “Audra, you are the least needy woman ever born. That’s what makes you great.”

“You’re wrong,” she murmured and smoothed a thumb across his lips in a tender caress that held a million implications. “I’m not great. But thank you for saying that. I’m selfish and driven and lock away all the stuff that makes me insane behind a big wall. Generally, I shoot to kill if anyone tries to climb over it. I’ve never met someone who was willing to completely ignore all that.”

“Same goes.” He could hardly get the words out around the eight ball in his throat. The communal sense of pure understanding unwound inside him. His own walls felt like reinforced concrete weighing down on him. And that was the only reason he blurted out, “I’m in the Navy.”

“US?”

For some reason, that made him laugh. Of all the things she could have said. “Yeah. Uncle Sam owns me. At least for the next year.”

“And then what?”

Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? But she’d asked it so unobtrusively that he didn’t mind telling her he had no freaking clue. “I reenlist. Or I don’t. I’ve been a sailor for, God, thirteen years. I don’t know what else I would do. But it’s… a rough life.”

Her blue eyes blinked in quiet sympathy, and she pillowed her cheek on one hand as if settling in for a bedtime story that she really wanted to hear. “Tell me. Or say butt out. I’m not going anywhere either way.”

And that made it all right to admit the hardest thing of all. “I went into the military because of my father. He’s a bastard. I… didn’t want to be like him.”

“I’m guessing that was never going to happen regardless of what you did.”

Her wry observation settled into his chest with warmth he wouldn’t have asked for. But craved all at once. “The military was an escape. But I hated the idea of combat. Going up against another army across a battlefield in a formation of soldiers, marching toward a fifty percent chance of death? No thank you.”

“Oh, sweetie. Who wants to do that?”

Lots of guys. There were plenty of enlisted soldiers with a thirst for blood and higher than average sense of honor and duty. Charlie spent one hundred percent of his day protecting them to the best of his ability. “I ended up in Coronado. Trained to be a SEAL. Trust me when I say you don’t know what brutal is unless you’ve been through hell week. But I came out the other side with exactly what I wanted. A purpose. I’m that guy ahead of the front line. Clearing the way for the men doing the heavy lifting, covert-style. I’m better, faster, smarter than my enemy.”

She smiled. “I can totally see that about you. By the way, I’m digging this story. But I’m curious why you’re telling me. If I’m allowed to ask.”

“Because.” He framed her face with his hands as he said the most brutal thing of all, scarcely able to stand the spike hammering through his gut. “I can’t promise you anything more than this. Having someone at home, waiting, is a distraction I can’t afford. It might make me hesitate, and what I do has no room for that. Also, I couldn’t sleep at night, knowing you were worried about me.”

“Charlie, I know.” Her gentle smile soothed a fraction of the ache. “I’m not asking for anything remotely close to that. Which makes me wonder. Are you perhaps trying to convince yourself?”

He shut his eyes against the truth of that. “Yeah. Maybe. Stop being so understanding.”

She laughed. “Can’t. I’m in the running for the Perfect Woman award, remember?”