Christmas Nights(31)

Stella practically stomped to the kitchen door and started to pull on her boots. When she straightened up and looked over at Janie, her chin was set and her eyes determined. Janie stared back at her, slightly stunned at Stella’s courage. Her chest tightened with emotion to realize how much Stella cared about Travis. Regardless of her concerns about bringing Stella with her, Stella had just made the decision for her. “Okay. You can come with me, but you’re staying out of the way. Are we clear?”

Stella nodded quickly. Pansy had followed Stella downstairs and was lingering at her side, her eyes bouncing between Janie and Stella. Stella looked down at her and back to Janie. “We can’t take her with us,” Janie said firmly.

Stella seemed to realize she’d won her own small battle already, so she nodded. “Okay.” She leaned over and stroked Pansy’s sleek black head. “We’ll be back, Pansy.” She straightened again and snagged her coat off its hook on the wall.

After Janie stepped into her boots and tugged her coat on, they walked outside into the icy cold night. Janie was swinging between frantic worry and trying to cling to some sense of holding it together. She didn’t want to fall apart in front of Stella, but her fears for Travis were real and close to overwhelming. Stella was quiet on the ride toward Otter Cove Harbor. Midnight Sun Lodges was situated beside the harbor. Janie was a bundle of nerves with anxiety, worry and fear chasing each other in circles inside. Her muscles were taut and she felt sick to the point of verging on nausea. All she could think about was Travis and making sure he was okay.

When they approached the harbor, Janie could see far more lights than usual lighting up the area. As she scanned the parking lot by the hotel, she could see spotlights shining brightly from several fire trucks. Flames were shooting up into the night sky over one wing of the hotel with smoke billowing out and filling the area with haze. There were fire trucks from the Diamond Creek station, along with a few others from Kenai and Homer. Police vehicles were everywhere. A large cluster of people was gathered to one side of the parking lot. Janie guessed that to be everyone who’d been evacuated from the hotel. She parked at a distance and looked over at Stella. “I want you to wait here.”

Stella opened her mouth and then closed it promptly. “Fine. Promise you’ll come tell me once you know what’s going on.”

“Promise.” Janie checked the heat and left the car running when she climbed out. Stella had already slipped her phone out of her pocket and started to text. Janie figured she was texting back and forth with Parker and some of her friends.

The scent of smoke filled the air. Her boots crunched against the packed snow as she walked toward what appeared to be a makeshift command area with the police chief, Darren, busy chatting with a few officers. All firefighters in sight were manning hoses from the fire trucks and moving in and out of the building. Janie paused and scanned the area, trying to see if she could locate Travis in the milieu. When she couldn’t, she lost her breath again for a moment, the fear clogging her throat and chest. She had to force herself to take a slow breath. She strode quickly toward Darren, blinking against the bright lights as she got closer.

Darren was busy looking at a set of plans spread out on a folding table with the Diamond Creek fire chief, Ken Hanson, at his side. When Janie reached them, she saw they were looking at what must be the building plans for the hotel. Darren glanced up to see her. The moment his eyes landed on her, she knew Travis was one of the firefighters missing somewhere in the hotel.

“Where’s Travis?” she asked bluntly.

Ken’s head whipped up, and Darren glanced to him and back to her. Of the two, she knew Darren better, mostly because he was married to Risa who she’d met through her friendship with Tess. Darren straightened his shoulders. “Hey Janie, right now we’re trying to narrow down where he might be. He and Ben were the first ones in the building to help get everyone evacuated. We have a last confirmed location for both of them. Travis was last seen by the stairwell on the third floor. Ben was on the second floor on the other end of the building.”

The fear coiling inside of her knotted tighter. She was relieved Darren hadn’t bothered to hide the fact Travis was one of the two missing somewhere in the building. She couldn’t seem to speak over the rushing sound in her ears. Ken’s voice cut through. “We’ll find them both, Janie. We’ve got two crews working to manage the fire and we’ve sent in pairs to search for them.”

She felt herself nodding, but she still couldn’t talk. She looked beyond them to the hotel. It had three main wings and was three stories high. It seemed massive to her right now. Travis could be anywhere in there. The possibilities for something bringing harm to him felt endless. All it would take was one of those possibilities. Emotion welled inside, and her knees almost buckled. She felt someone’s arm ease around her waist. “Let’s get you sitting down,” a voice said. Whoever it was moved her a few steps away and helped her sit down in a folding chair. She was too stunned to realize who it was until she managed to gulp in a breath of cold, smoky air. She glanced up to see Sylvia Cunningham resting her hips on the edge of the table.

Sylvia’s warm eyes caught hers. “Sit tight. I’ll wait with you,” she said firmly.

Janie felt strangely numb. The cold didn’t bother her in the slightest. She glanced around and felt like she was in the eye of a hurricane with activity swirling around her while she just sat there. She gave herself a shake and looked over at Sylvia. “Shouldn’t you be back at the station?”

“I’m not on duty tonight at the 911 line. Michael still keeps his scanner on because the man doesn’t seem to understand the meaning of retirement,” she began, referencing her husband who used to be the police chief. “When we heard this call come over the scanner, we came down right away. I figured they could use a hand on this side of things. Michael’s over there,” she said, gesturing to her husband who stood by one of the ambulances.

“Aren’t you worried about Travis and Ben?” Janie asked, fighting a rising sense of irritation at Sylvia’s calmness and that of Darren and Ken as well.

“Of course! But we can’t go letting that drive what we do, can we? You can’t do emergency work and lose it every time something might’ve gone wrong. I’m hoping for the best. These guys know what they’re doing. If Travis happened to be out here and one of his buddies was lost in there, he’d be calm and cool because that’s what he’d have to be.”

Sylvia leaned forward and gripped Janie’s hands between hers. “Hold on. Don’t go thinking the worst.”

Janie realized how icy cold her hands were when Sylvia gave her hands a squeeze before she leaned back again. Janie fumbled in her coat pocket and pulled out a pair of gloves. It was only then she realized she hadn’t even bothered to change before they left. She’d stripped out of her work clothes after dinner and tossed on her favorite sweatpants and a t-shirt she usually slept in. She looked over at Sylvia with a shrug as she pulled her gloves on. “I forgot to change before we came down here.” She took a deep breath to try to ease the fear racing through her. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m usually calm, even in emergencies, but…”

“Travis means a lot to you, so it’s a little different. No need to apologize.” Sylvia cocked her head to the side. “I’m guessing you’re the reason Travis has been so cranky lately. He’ll barely talk about anything, and I haven’t had a chance to check in with him. Did something happen?”

Janie’s heart felt funny—filled with fear, but also a disconcerting openness. It was as if she was finally giving into what she’d been pushing against. She stared out into the smudgy dark sky, the stars glittering even through the haze of smoke, before she met Sylvia’s gaze. “I kinda blew it. I was getting up the nerve to try to make things right and then this happened tonight.”

“What do you mean you blew it?”

“I got a little freaked out and wanted some breathing room. He went and told me he thought he loved me and I forgot how to talk. That was over a week ago, and I feel like an idiot. Even worse, now I’m scared I won’t even get a chance to make sure he knows how I feel. I might not be any good at this whole relationship thing, but I could’ve handled it a little better.”

“Ah, so he did take my advice,” Sylvia said softly, so softly Janie wasn’t sure she heard right over the hubbub of noise around them.

“Huh?”

“Oh, I told him he should tell you how he felt. Sounds like he did.”

“You told him that?”

Sylvia shrugged. “Sure. Hon, I’m old, way too old to think it’s worth dancing around things like this. Maybe you didn’t handle it so great, but it sounds like you might’ve woken up inside. Nobody said love was easy. Trust me, I’ve been married to Michael a long damn time. Catch me on a bad day and I still screw up.” She paused, her eyes searching Janie’s. “How do you feel about him?”

“Right now?”