Change of Hart(87)

“I don’t think that’s the only thing you’re crying about,” I said, rubbing my hands down her arms.

“What do you mean?” she asked, wiping her nose again as she sniffled.

“I know things were bad with Austin toward the end. Really bad. But babe, it hasn’t even been a year since he died.” Her shoulders slumped as I talked. “I know you don’t miss the guy he was when he died. But I think you’ve spent a lot of time avoiding grieving over the man he was when you married him.”

“He’s right, Addison,” Mick said, causing us to look over at him. “I know you think I didn’t know what he was up to, but I knew the whole time. In fact, the last conversation we ever had was me telling him I was disappointed in the way he was treating you. It may be the biggest regret of my life that it was the last time I ever spoke to him, but it was the truth.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Addison asked.

He shrugged. “We were all struggling with our own demons after he died. What was the point in bringing it up? But I think Jason is right. I never saw you break down and grieve over what was lost. Not after the affair. Not after the accident. Not after any of it. I think some of what you’re feeling right now is all that old stuff finally coming up.”

She nodded as she started sniffling again. “When I saw those pictures on the internet, I wanted to call Austin so bad,” she said to me as the tears started to roll. “Not the guy from a year ago. But the guy I met in college. The guy who was my best friend. The guy who couldn’t wait to propose and yelled ‘I’m getting laid!’ through the roof of the limo after our wedding. I miss him so much.” She fell into my chest again. The crying wasn’t as hard this time. It was more like she was leaning on me for support.

“I know, babe. And it’s ok with me if you miss him. As much as I wanna punch him in the nuts for what he did to you, I think he was probably a really good guy deep down. And I’m not gonna take that away from you.”

She nodded, her breath still hitching from all the crying. It was gonna take a while for her to finally calm down. “I’m sorry for being a drama queen,” she said, quietly avoiding my eyes.

“I’m sorry for being a dumbass who can’t remember his own schedule,” I said, causing her to look up and give me a half-hearted smile.

“I’m sorry I believed the stupid internet before talking to you about it.”

“I’m sorry I waited until we had a room full of nosy nellies to tell you how much I love you.” A smile crossed her face and she wiped her nose again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it back,” she said quietly.

“Addison,” I said, inching closer to her.

“Yeah,” she said, looking right in my eyes.

“I love you so much.”

She smiled. “I love you so much, too.”

And I kissed her. I kissed her until she pulled away because she couldn’t breathe, which wasn’t long considering how long she’d been crying. And then I picked her up, spun around and sat down on the couch with her in my lap, wrapping my arms around her, just soaking up everything that had gone down in the last twelve hours.

“Well, I think my work here is done,” Sara said, standing up quickly. “Mick, would you mind giving me a lift to the airport?”

“I would,” Mick said with his usual southern drawl, “but I don’t have a car here, remember?”

“And you don’t even have a plane ticket to get home yet,” I added. “Maybe you should call your girlfriend and have her hurry up and book you a flight.”

“Hmm. Good point,” she said with her hands on her hips. “Well, how about, Mick, you and I head into Jaxon’s room and play Legos for a bit so these two lovebirds can regroup.”

“That actually sounds like a good idea,” he said as he stood up and walked toward her. “You can tell me about that Leo DiCaprio fella. You ever work with him?” His voice faded away as they made their way down the hall.

“How are you feeling?” I asked after several minutes of silence. She was just snuggled into me as I rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head.

“Better, actually,” she said, pulling away and looking up at me. “I guess I didn’t realize how much all of that was taking me back to a bad place with Austin. I’m not even sure how much of that was about you. It’s kind of a weird feeling. Like I freaked out over nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing, baby,” I reassured, still rubbing her arms and legs. I didn’t want to stop touching her. I had gotten too close to losing her. “I think it was a long time coming. And my dumb-assery was just the catalyst of it all.”