Captured(Devil's Blaze MC 1)(50)
“You’re missing the point. He loves her. He’s going to die for her.”
“Big fucking deal. If she wasn’t a selfish bitch, she’d scoot her ass over and they’d both survive.”
Now, it should be said that I totally agree with him. However, I find I enjoy arguing with Briar. Well, that and I’m bored out of my mind. “She lives a full life because Jack loved her.”
“She’s a selfish cow. Why can’t she die? I mean, this story would be a fuck of a lot better if Jack survived and lived high on the fucking hog with that damn diamond.”
Okay, actually that sounds like a more interesting movie if you think about it, but I ignore him. “Hush, Briar! There’s a happy ending, wait and see. You’ll love it!”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” he says sarcastically. It’s all I can do not to laugh.
“You know, if you told me what happened last night to have Skull worried about me, I might consider turning this off and letting you watch football.”
“Nice try, but no cigar, babe.”
“I guess we could watch ballet. There’s one on channel—”
“You turn on that fucking shit and I promise you I will put a bullet in the television. I’m drawing the line at this movie and that’s only because the redhead has some decent knockers.”
Okay, I snort at that comment. It’d take a better woman than I not to laugh. We’re silent through the rest of the movie until the end. Then, I thought poor Briar was going to blow a gasket. He literally turned red in the face.
“You’ve got to be kidding me! What the fuck?”
“What? They got their happy-ever-after!”
“They’re dead!”
“Well yeah, but they’re together.”
“Fuck, that’s just messed up. Is this really the kind of shit you chicks get off on?”
“It’s a great movie. Very romantic.”
“No fucking wonder,” he says.
“What are you talking about?”
“If this is the kind of shit you like to watch, it’s no wonder you bitches give us men such a hard time. Relationships would be a lot easier if women would just watch porn.”
“Is that a fact?”
“Fuck, yeah. Porn is straight-up, man. No bullshit. Instead of Ol’ Jack dying, he’d be helping her fiancé feed her dick.”
“Oh my God!”
“It’s the truth. I actually watched the porn version of Titanic. It was grade A. I think it even won an award.”
“There’s a porn version of Titanic?”
“Woman, there’s a porn version of every movie.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Nope. Name one and I’ll give you the porn title.”
“And if you can’t, you have to let me out of this room.”
“That can’t happen, but since I know all the titles, hit me with your best shot.”
“Okay. Umm… When Harry Met Sally!”
“How old are you again? Were you even alive when that movie came out?”
“It’s a good movie!”
“When Harry Ate Sally,” he says calmly.
“Oh my God.” He winks at me. I sigh, digging deeper into my vault of favorite movies inside my brain. I’m a movie buff. Heck, before Skull, movies were my excitement. “The Terminator!” I exclaim suddenly.
“You really are making this too easy. The Sperminator.”
“Holy shit.”
Briar laughs. “Ready to call it quits yet?”
“Okay, I got it. Gone in Sixty Seconds!”
“Blown in Sixty Seconds. Sadly, not a favorite.”
“I bet. Okay I’ve got nothing. I cave.”
“But we were just getting started! There’s Robocock, Saturday Night Beaver…” he continues.
“You’re making this shit up!”
“And every woman should watch King Dong.”
“Get out of town! There’s a movie called King Dong?”
“It’s a very touching movie. It’s about a little boy who’s picked on because his dick is three times as big as everyone else’s. He was bullied mercilessly.”
“I’m sure,” I say sarcastically.
“He was. It’s very touching, really. All the football jocks hated him.”
“Probably because all the cheerleaders were letting him under their skirts.”
“Well, yeah, that too. Still, it’s a touching movie.”
“As in, there was a lot of touching of King Dong’s… dong?”
“You’re a smart one.”
“How big was King Dong’s dong anyway?”
“Is there a reason you’re talking about dicks with my woman?” Skull asks from the door.