Captured(Devil's Blaze MC 1)(46)
“Annabelle is mine,” he growls. “She’s mine. I’d know if she wasn’t.” But he’s not looking at Torch; he’s looking at me.
“I know she is,” I respond. “Anyone who’s seen that little girl knows she’s yours, Beast.” I’m not talking about biologically because, knowing that lying cunt, this was the one time she was telling the truth. Regardless, Beast is her dad in all the ways that count. He’s been both mom and dad to that little girl.
“She’s mine, Boss. I don’t give a fuck what that bitch said. She’s mine. She was just drunk.”
“I know.”
“I got to get out for a while. I can’t be here. I can’t be around her right now,” Beast growls slamming his fist back into the wall. The good news about that is, instead of three separate holes, there’s just one big one.
“Torch, you and K-Rex go with him. Stay with him. Watch his back and your own.”
They get up and follow Beast out the door. The room stays silent for a few minutes.
“I hate her,” Beth whispers.
“We all do,” Pistol grunts, and for the first time in forever I’m in perfect agreement with the bastard.
My life has been fucked up for over four years. I got between that bitch’s legs one night without using a condom, and I’ve been paying for it ever since. The men bitched at me all the time. They thought I was being pussy-whipped, but that wasn’t it. I wasn’t like them; talking to women didn’t come easy for me.
Shit. Talking to people in general fucked me up.
I doubt I would’ve ever been a member if I hadn’t grown up with Skull. He’s a brother, the closest I’ve ever had to one. The only constant in my life was Skull’s madre, Maria. None of the others know that. That secret is mine and Skull’s and, as far as I’m concerned, not one fucker will ever know it. My old man was loaded. He had more money than God. What he didn’t have was time for me or my mother. Then again, my mother was a miserable drunk who only had time for her tennis instructor—and she didn’t know how to play tennis, not even a little bit.
Skull’s mother Maria lived in the adjoining coach house with Skull and, though she cooked and cleaned in our home, it was that small coach house I remember as the only home I’ve ever had. When my father died of an unexpected heart attack, I didn’t grieve for him. My mother and her lover ran off together leaving me with Maria, and I fucking rejoiced. When I turned twenty-one, the only contact I had with my mother was when I got my trust. She had burned through her money and wanted mine. I had no use for the money. She dropped my half-brother Terry in my lap saying she had to have a way to support him. I took Terry in, but I spat on her and walked away. I never liked Terry, but I tried. He was a miserable son of a bitch, and if what Jan said was true, I should have given up on him way before I did.
The only smart thing I’ve apparently done in my life was give my money to Maria and Skull. We used it to fight the cancer and make sure Maria was comfortable. When Skull’s uncle came into the picture and Skull decided to become a prospect to Devil’s Blaze, I followed him. It wasn’t because I wanted to be part of the club so much; rather, I couldn’t imagine not having Skull beside me. He was all I had left. Maybe it’s my fucked-up past, but if you don’t get close to people, they can’t fucking hurt you. They don’t get the chance to. Women were too much effort. So besides the occasional fuck, I didn’t bother with them.
Fucking Jan without a condom trapped me. I got drunk off my ass one night and woke up in bed with her the next morning, damage done. I panicked the whole fucking time, terrified she’d be knocked up. I prayed even. Not that I knew much about praying, but it seemed like the thing to do. When she turned out that way, I stepped up. Made her my old lady, even though Skull did his damnedest to talk me out of it. I didn’t listen. I didn’t want to put much effort into having a woman. This made that easier. The only fucking time I had to talk much to Jan was when she wanted something and that got me sex. It was easy and it protected my child. I may not have wanted Jan pregnant, but I did want Annabelle.
It’s four in the morning and I’ve drunk so much that I’ve come full circle—I’m practically sober again. My head is foggy and it hurts to breathe, but I don’t think that has shit to do with the hangover. Torch and a couple of the boys grabbed a cage and insisted I ride with them to the Boot. The Boot is an old honkytonk. It doesn’t get much business, and that’s what I wanted. I didn’t want to be bothered; I wanted to sit at a bar and drink my ass off, and that’s exactly what I got. The men know me, so they didn’t talk to me either. They just watched my back. Still, I didn’t want them around me. They saw that fucking shit with Jan and I didn’t want anyone to realize what a sad fuck I was or how stupid I’d been.