Cabin Fever(78)
“Good,” he says, his hand sliding away. “Because I have a surprise for you.”
“You do?”
“Yep. And when you’re ready to climb the stairs, you let me know and I’ll show you what it is.”
The idea of jiggling my sensitive eyes around as I pound up stairs is not appealing at the moment, but soon… soon I’ll see what he has to show me.
“Deal,” I say.
“Oh, and by the way, I rented a special table bed thingy so you can spend some time sleeping face-down the way the doctor said you should.
My mood deflates. “Oh goody.”
“Hey, no complaining. I’m going to get you better so we can start living our new lives, if it’s the last thing I do.”
My heart skips a few beats at him saying ‘our new lives’. Did he mean it the way it sounded? Do I want him to mean it that way? Yes. I do. I really, really, really do. He wants to be with me, even though it looks like someone hit me in both eyes with a baseball bat and I need a shower in the worst way. That has to mean something.
“No pressure or anything,” he adds, sounding nervous. “You don’t have to commit to anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
I take a deep breath in and smile, letting any residual stress I have out with my exhale. “I’m not uncomfortable about anything. Don’t worry. This feels…right.”
Jeremy leans back in the couch and pulls me over to lean on him. “Do you mind if I hang out here with you for awhile?” he asks, kissing the top of my head.
“Not at all.” I lean on him and rest my hand on his chest. Jaws settles in next to my leg. I could stay like this forever, here with him and my puppy in his house, the smell of babies around us. I wonder what he’s going to do about Cassie, but I don’t ask. Not yet. Today is not the day for that, but that day will come, and it will come soon. I’m not going to leave Jeremy’s life until I have it all put back together the way it should be, just like he’s promised to do for me.
Chapter Thirty-Six
TWO WEEKS HAVE GONE BY, and Jeremy’s finally letting me see people. I can’t blame him for his caution. My eyes were seriously scary. There’s still lots of bruising and weird stuff going on, so for our family-style spaghetti dinner tonight, I’m going to be wearing very dark sunglasses. I’m so nervous, I have a stomach ache.
“You like it?” Jeremy asks. I’m standing in the middle of a room he’s turned into an art studio. Jaws is sniffing away in the corner, thinking about digging at the carpet, maybe. I leave him to his adventure, worried if I say no to every single thing he might do but hasn’t yet done that I’ll turn him into a neurotic mess. His life as a street dog has made home life a bit of a challenge for him. But he’s settling in, just like we humans are.
“It’s amazing.” I’m trying not to cry. “Every time I come in here I’m overwhelmed again.” I turn to look at him in the doorway. “You’re too generous.”
He shrugs, looking a little shy. “I do what I can. It’s no big deal.”
It seems strange that we’ve been living together and sharing everything, our deepest thoughts and desires, fears, memories… and yet, we haven’t really touched each other. He kisses me on the head or the cheek and holds me against him on the couch when we talk or watch TV, but we haven’t even gotten close to getting busy in the sex department.
The pressure is building between us as my sight has been restoring itself, but neither of us has made a move or even talked about it. I don’t know about why he’s remained silent on the subject, but I personally don’t want to mess things up, so I haven’t pushed the matter.
I wonder how this is all going to turn out, but I’m not interested in rushing anything. Being roommates, letting him spoil me a little… it’s not the worst thing I could be going through, especially considering my medical condition. Sometimes I wonder — is it possible that we’re too good as friends? That being more than friends would cause everything to fall apart? Should we just keep it this way and forget getting romantically involved?
The realistic, negative part of me says I should just be content with what I have. Not many women can say they have a friend like Jeremy in their lives. He’s kind, considerate, loving, funny, sexy, a good cook, and always up for a board game or a show on TV. Even a chick flick is okay with him. He doesn’t have to work unless he wants to, and he’s been spending most of his time entertaining me. But I’ve also heard him on the phone, making plans with contractors to get the renovation going again. He’s the perfect package as far as I’m concerned. I don’t want to mess that up for either of us, but maybe something more would be something better. There’s just no way to know for sure without risking it all.