By Proxy(51)

She gathered her wits, coming out of the fog of passion, feeling grateful to Sam for stopping their steamy kiss when he did.

No more. Not now. Steady now, Jenny.

Sam slid his hands to her lower back, pulling her closer, and she could feel his chest move up and down roughly; she knew if she moved her ear to his heart the thumping would be deafening because she felt the same fierce drumbeat in her own chest.

He held her for awhile then she felt his hands slacken and his arms loosen around her. She lifted her head to look at him, and he smiled at her, shaking his head in wonder.

“Now you’ve kissed me with that mouth.”

She chuckled quietly, surprised by his words, nodding her head. “So I have.”

He pulled away from her, lacing his fingers through hers and sighing as they started walking again. “But, I think I should go back to my hotel.”

“Oh.” She felt deflated and confused. She hadn’t seen this coming. Had she done something wrong? Was it possible in her inexperience that she’d misunderstood what was happening between them?

“Jenny? To be clear, there is nothing I would like more than to come up to your apartment with you. But another kiss like that and…well, I just don’t trust myself.”

“Oh!” She understood, and it made her smile. He wasn’t leaving her because he didn’t like her. He was leaving her because he did like her, and—more importantly—because he respected her. It made her heart burst with relief to know he liked her and with tenderness, that he stopped in spite of his feelings for her.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked in a soft, heavy voice, drawing her knuckles to his lips to press a kiss against them.

“Church, then…”

“Then spending the day with me?”

“Okay.”

They stopped in a dark corner by her apartment door and he smiled, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. He took his time pressing his hot lips against her cold skin, leaning into her. She rotated slightly so that she was flush against his body, felt the rough stubble of his beard on her cheek, the warmth of his skin near her face. She closed her eyes, heart-stirring sensations rising up from her belly, making her want to melt into him and never let go. Her hands were trapped between them and she flattened them on his chest, marveling at the hard muscles she could feel through his clothes, wondering if she should throw caution to the wind and invite him upstairs despite his warning.

“What time should I be at church?” he whispered into her ear, putting his hands on her hips.

“Nine.” She murmured, feeling her knees weaken.

“Nine is good.” He found her earlobe with his teeth, teasing it gently and sending surges of tingly pleasure down her neck. She sighed and tilted her head to give him better access, be closer to him, closer to the source of her pleasure. Oh, my God, this feels good. This feels amazing. More. Please, more.

She forced herself back to their conversation. Church. Tomorrow.

“It’s near…the high school…” She sighed, eyes closed, barely able to concentrate on anything but the touch of his lips trailing fire down her neck.

“I remember.” He breathed, brushing his lips across her skin, his face next to hers, his hands softly molding her hips against him.

She lifted her face to smile at him, feeling dreamy and needy and still wanting more but knowing it was time to say goodnight. He took a long look at her face and chuckled softly, dropping his hands from her trembling body. “’Night, Pretty Girl. See you tomorrow.”

“’Night, Sam.” She turned, walking through the door to her apartment, and when she looked back once more, he was gone.

***

Casey was quick to do her business, thank goodness, and Jenny was glad to change out of her pretty clothes and into her comfy pajamas, warm inside for the night. She sat on the loveseat with a sleeping Casey curled up in her lap. Jenny’s body and mind were a jumble of confusion, totally at odds with one another.

On one hand, her body felt taut like that humming guitar string she imagined connecting her to Sam. She had never felt so desired, so wanted, so alive. She also felt frustrated, unrequited, hot in places she barely allowed herself to think about. She touched her lips with her fingers, searching for the imprint of Sam’s lips on hers.

In twenty-four years, she had never felt anything close to the awakening she felt tonight. It was exciting and terrifying all at once and she yearned for more.

On the other hand, her mind, her poor, sensible head was losing this battle wildly, going down in flames and smoke. She hadn’t even tried to control her thoughts tonight. If anything, she had flat-out ignored all of the reasonable, sober advice she’d given herself the night before. But ignoring it didn’t change its value or veracity. Sam was still leaving on Monday, of that she was certain. He would return to Chicago to resume his life there, and she’d be left alone in Gardiner with a handful of beautiful memories.