By Proxy(35)

“There’s nothing between me and Sam.”

He nodded, looking down, loading the stapler and spoke quietly, gently, the way a man speaks to a skittish child. “That’s not what I saw. But I could be wrong, I guess. I’m just saying, I’m here for you, Jenny.”

He returned to straightening and stapling packets. That’s not what I saw. The words turned around in her head as they worked in awkward silence. She thought of Sam’s life in Chicago. Hair slicked back in a tuxedo. Cubs games. Pepper. He wasn’t with Pepper anymore, true, but she was someone Sam had chosen for himself. That’s not what I saw. She was Jenny Lindstrom. Simple Jenny. A schoolteacher from a tiny town in Nowhere, Montana, with a simple little apartment and a simple uncomplicated life. That’s not what I saw.

What had Paul seen? And why did Jenny feel like she needed to protest his observation so strenuously?

***

It had taken fifteen trips back and forth, but Sam had all twenty pieces of the booth in a tidy pile leaning up against the brick wall of the school building so Jenny’s brothers could pick them up later if the building was locked. He was sweaty and dusty when he walked back into the school to find Jenny. He heard voices coming from the office and couldn’t help himself; he tiptoed closer, listening.

“There’s nothing between me and Sam.” Jenny’s voice.

He stopped in his tracks, his heart thumping in his chest at the sound of her voice saying his name.

“That’s not what I saw… I’m here for you, Jenny.” Sam couldn’t hear all of Paul’s comments. His voice was farther away than hers and muffled.

Sam backed up against the wall outside of the office door and stayed as still as he could. He didn’t want them to think he’d been eavesdropping, plus he was bothered by this exchange, especially the last part: “I’m here for you, Jenny.” Oh, I just bet you are, buddy.

Sam tiptoed back down the hallway as quietly as he could and out the front door, finally sitting down on a bench facing the bison on the football field.

He breathed in, savoring the shock of the cold air to his lungs. She was very clear nothing was going on between her and Sam, and her “pal” Paul was very clear he was there for her.

So, there you go. She held your hand this morning because she felt sorry for you, not because she has feelings for you. Did you actually think she might be interested in you, Sam? Oh, you did? That’s cute. And by the way, you were wrong.

It hurt him to admit it, but it made perfect sense, actually, that Jenny and Principal Paul would be a couple-in-the-making. She deserved someone good-looking and kind with his act together who lived somewhere she lived, worked where she worked, and loved it as she did. What better match for Jenny than a young principal in the school where she worked? Certainly not you, Sam.

He shook his head, wishing it didn’t sting so much. He knew he had a connection with Jenny. She made him laugh, he enjoyed being around her, and she was beautiful. But it was much more than that. Her heart was the kindest he had ever known, and she also had strength and spirit. As much as he hadn’t really accepted the possibility of being with Jenny, the possibility he couldn’t be with her leveled him like a blow.

It also meant his feelings for her had grown beyond a connection or impression. Whether he liked it or not, Sam was falling for her.

***

“There you are!” Jenny plopped down on the bench next to Sam. “How long have you been done?”

“A little while. I didn’t want to disturb you and Principal Paul.”

“Disturb us?” She made a face. “We were just collating newsletters.”

“Mmm,” Sam demurred.

“Sam!” She elbowed him lightly and he looked at her face, her lovely face that had him all turned around in such a short amount of time. “Paul’s my boss. He’s just a friend.”

Sam nodded vaguely and looked at the bison with fascination. Yup. He seems very friendly.

“Seriously. He’s my brother Lars’s best friend. Folks around here call him the ‘Fourth Lindstrom.’ He may as well be, as far as I’m concerned.”

“I did come to find you, Jenny. I heard you two talking.”

Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. “What did you hear?”

“That there’s nothing between you and me.”

“Well, there…isn’t. Is there?”

Sam turned to face her. “I don’t know.” He shook his head back and forth, then shrugged. “I just know how I feel. I hated the way he took you away from me to go upstairs. I wanted to punch him in the nose, Jenny. I don’t know where that came from.”