Buy Me, Sir(58)

And the picture is fucking hideous.

It's so hideous my stomach wants to turn inside out.

But my father keeps the blows coming. "Don't tell me you've fallen for the girl. Mother of Christ, this just gets better."

"This can't be right," I tell him. "You're a fucking liar. You've always been a fucking liar."

He shakes his head. "No, boy. I'm not. I've never fucking lied to you.  You lie to your fucking self. That's the difference between you and I.  That's why I'll always be the senior in this business until the day I  fucking die. Because I have the fucking balls to own my own fucking  shadow, but you, you'd rather bleat on in therapy than fulfil your own  fucking potential."

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this," I hiss. "And then I'm going to leave this fucking business, and you along with it."

"I've made it easy for you," he says with a grin. "Melissa Martin is  right downstairs for you. Meeting suite sixteen, where you met the wily  cow in the first place, I believe."



Melissa



I hate being here, caged in meeting suite sixteen with its big glass walls in the heart of Alexander's business domain.

I shouldn't be here.

My resignation letter is already stuffed in my apron pocket, my legs  shaky as I sit beside Sonnie, wondering what the hell we're all doing in  here, summoned at such short notice.

"Health and safety in the workplace," Janet begins up front. "As per the  request of the management." She looks as flummoxed as we do, and it  scares me.

This whole thing scares me.

"Feels off to me," Sonnie whispers, and shudders for effect. "Not like  we don't have this in the handbook. Maybe some silly cow fried herself  on the vacuum cleaner or some shit."

I can hope.

Oh God, how I hope.

"I hope it doesn't take long," I whisper back. "Brutus needs his walk."

"He ain't so bad, that mutt," she says, and it makes me smile through the paranoia.

"He's a good boy," I say.

"His owner ain't so bad, either." She nudges me. "I saw him yesterday. Little bird might have told him about you."

Oh fuck how my stomach lurches. "You did what?"

She can't carry on. Janet calls the room to order and starts talking through her slide deck.

I clutch the letter in my pocket, holding it like a talisman as I stare  numbly at the screen. This will be my last time in this building, I  swear it. I just need to get out of here unseen. Please God, let me get  out of here unseen.

It seems to take forever. Janet's words blur into one, the screen fading  into the background as my thoughts tumble and crash around my stomach.

I'll grab her when this is over, I'll hand over my letter and make a dash away from here.

And then I just have to wait until Wednesday. I'll tell him my real name as soon as I'm through his door.

No more lies. Not ever.

I manage to calm my breathing, counting in to seven, out to eleven as I  fret in my seat. The clock keeps ticking. Fifteen minutes, twenty,  twenty-five. The slide deck counts up to twenty-six, and we're almost  there when the room ripples. Slide twenty-three. Only two more to go.

I don't look around at first.

Call it instinct. Call it paranoia in overdrive.

It's only when Sonnie nudges my elbow that I tear my eyes from the screen.

"There he is," she whispers. "Ain't he mighty fine? Look quick, before you miss him."

The world stops turning. My breath stops coming.

Just like that the cards collapse.

They tumble from the sky, every single one, and my final ace is burning.         

     



 

My final ace is all gone.

He's staring right at me as I turn my head to the window.

His father is at his side with a terrible smile on his face, and Alexander looks as horrified as I do.

More horrified than I do.

He shakes his head so slowly, his jaw gritted as he swallows, and his  eyes. Oh God, his eyes. His eyes are full of pain. Pain and hate.

Alexander Henley fucking hates me.

And I fucking hate myself.

His father gives me a wave, and he's laughing. He's actually laughing as he turns away and grabs Alexander by the elbow.

Alexander doesn't move for long seconds, just stares in disbelief as I stare right back.

I don't even hide the tears falling. I don't care how many people are staring at me, or how Sonnie is squeezing my arm.

"Sorry," I mouth, "I'm sorry."

And that breaks the spell.

He turns away with his father, then shrugs him off as the older man tries to speak.

I get to my feet as the man I love stalks off down the corridor, and Janet shrieks as I make a run for it.

"Miss Martin!" she screeches, but I don't even slow down.

"Alexander!" I call, but he doesn't even look at me. He slams the door  at the end of the corridor, and I'm all set to charge on after him, be  damned with the consequences, but I can't.

The hand on my shoulder is firm. Alexander Henley Senior's grip is brutal.

"We need a fucking word, Miss Martin," he hisses.

And I cry.

Oh God, how I cry.



Alexander



I take the stairs, all sixteen fucking floors of them three at a time with my lungs on fire.

I barge past some catering staff halfway down and don't even apologise.

I can't speak. I don't want to fucking speak.

I don't even want to be alive.

The world spins as I pace through the lobby. My lungs scream for air as I barge through the main entrance doors.

My lungs scream to be out of this fucking place.

I stumble onto the street and straight into Mr Rand on his way in.

He holds out a hand and I stare mute, as though I'm a fucking lunatic. Because I am. I am a fucking lunatic.

"Are you alright, Henley?" Rand asks, and I brace myself on his  shoulder, using him as leverage to walk on by. I stumble down the street  with the wind whipping my tie, and the rain feels like acid against my  cheeks.

A cigarette. I need a fucking cigarette.

I stumble into a tiny corner shop two streets down, and the assistant is  wide-eyed as I bark out an order for anything. Sixty of fucking  anything. And a lighter. Make that two fucking lighters.

"Do you need some help?" she asks, and I know I must look like fucking death. "A doctor, or … "

I hand over my credit card as she rings up my purchases. My voice sounds like a crazy man.

"I'm fine," I say.

She nods politely as she hands over my cigarettes.

I've torn into the first pack before I'm even out of there. I smoke it  with my back to the wall and light up another straight after.

I've been played by a fucking cleaner. My own fucking cleaner.

Of course I've been fucking played.

The gemstones, the fucking band, the way Brutus was so fucking fond of her.

Of course he was fucking fond of her. He fucking knew her. He saw her every fucking day.

My hands ball into fists against the pain.

Brown hair to blonde, as though she knew I liked blondes. As though she knew about my teenage fucking crush.

As though she'd peered inside my fucking soul and not the tatty fucking memory box in the storage room.

It takes me three cigarettes before I can trust my legs to take my weight.

Three cigarettes before I feel like I can breathe without screaming my lungs raw.

I hover in the street, contemplating going back to the office and tearing the little bitch a fucking new one.

Scrap that. I should congratulate her fucking prowess and tell her she'd make a damn fucking fine lawyer.

She can have my fucking job if she wants it.

I laugh a bitter laugh as I picture her pretty face.

Oh fuck, she was fucking good.

Good enough that I actually believed she fucking loved me, which is a fucking joke in itself.

Nobody who's ever truly known me has ever come out the other side still loving me.

I hail a cab to take me home.

I've nothing to fucking say to her, and nothing to say to my fucking father, either.



Melissa



I'm stripped of everything  –  my ID badge and my swipe card and Alexander Henley's house keys.

I'm even stripped of my stupid scratchy cap and apron.

Mr Henley Snr. laughs as he finds the resignation letter in my apron pocket.

"So close," he says. "And to think you nearly got away with it." He  laughs again to himself. "Extraordinary. You're wasted as a cleaner,  most likely as a hooker, too. You should be a lawyer."         

     



 

I have to cover my mouth to stop myself being sick.

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you what would happen if you were foolish  enough to contact my son," he says. "Consider your employment well and  truly terminated. Please don't insult me by asking your manager for a  reference."

I can't speak. I can't say anything.

His smile is a sneer. "Believe me, you don't know anything about my boy.  If you've any sense at all you'll stay as far away as possible. He has a  penchant for asphyxiation games, as I'm sure you well know. Something  tells me you wouldn't come out the other side of the next one."

I blink away tears, and I don't care. I don't care that I wouldn't come out the other side of the next one.

I really don't.

The life insurance would be more than enough for Dean to take care of Joseph.

"Stay away from my fucking son," Mr Henley Snr. hisses. "You're fucking dead to him."

I don't say a word as he marches me to the exit with a security guard at my side.