Brokenhearted Beauty(Divine Creek Ranch 19)(5)

Leah shrugged and let out a deep breath. “About the same.”

“Seeing anybody?” Her question was voiced softly as she looked Leah in the eye. Grace wouldn’t pry but Leah knew who she was referring to.

Shaking her head, she tried to hold back the emotions that wanted to surface anytime James and Vincent came to mind. “No. I’m not ready yet. The…loss is still too painful.”

“Do you think it’ll ever stop being painful?”

Leah pondered that and shook her head.

“So the only thing you can do is put time between it and you, I guess. I’m not meddling, I promise, but maybe it would be easier if you were doing that along with James and Vincent. Whenever I see them, they still look so sad. They’re moving on with life of course, but there’s such grief in their eyes. Kind of like…”

“Mine?” Leah asked, sitting up straighter in the chair. This was so not what she wanted to talk about.

The Elder brothers all bore a striking resemblance to one another. The painful truth was that she was avoiding them on purpose. It wasn’t fair to James and Vincent but every time she got a glimpse of either handsome man, it was as if a chord in her heart was being painfully plucked. She knew she was avoiding part of the grieving process but she was doing her best.

Cuddling the baby with her other arm, Grace stretched out a hand to pat Leah’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I promise. It’s just that I hate seeing all three of you miserable.”

Leah couldn’t admit out loud what the problem was, what seeing them and their beautiful green eyes did to her heart. It didn’t seem right to say that about them. The fault was hers, not theirs. Instead, she turned her attention to Grant as Grace finished nursing him on one side and deftly switched him to the other.

Grace settled him on her right side, shifting the pillows to brace her elbow and then sat back again, discreetly adjusting her nursing bra beneath her robe without so much as a glance. There was so much about life Leah still didn’t understand. Things like being a mother suddenly seemed even farther off on the horizon.

Leah experienced an emotion that bordered on envy. She could never be as poised or casual as Grace under such circumstances. She’d be fumbling around and painfully clumsy if the roles were reversed. It was one of the reasons she looked up to Grace a little. But she was also slightly intimidated. Grace made dealing with the chaos and messiness of life look so easy. And Leah was just too awkward. Her comfort zone was enclosed in the walls of Stigall’s and she understood how to handle life within those walls.

“I pray for you.”

“Huh?” Leah said, her eyebrows shooting up. “You do?”

Grace nodded and smiled. “I know nowadays it’s politically incorrect, or some such bullshit, to tell someone that you pray for them, for fear of offending them. I’m willing to take that chance with you. I just wanted you to know I prayed for you, for the hurt to ease, and for you to find whatever and whoever it is that you need to be at peace. I want to see you happy.”

Leah cleared her throat but her voice still came out like a croak. “Thank you.”

Her parents had never been much for attending church but she’d always secretly wished that they’d gone. The smile on her face started out small, at the knowledge that someone cared enough to tell her they prayed for her. She felt special. And Grace sure had a way with words. “I should let you relax. Is there anything you need before I leave?”

“No, but thank you. Jack is supposed to be by in a little while. Thank you for the roses and for holding my little man for me. Are your eardrums still aching?”

Leah giggled. “No, but he sure has a set of pipes on him.” The smiling, the giggling, it all felt a little strange. The fact that it felt strange made her feel even stranger.

After saying good-bye she made her way down the hall. She could see Jack at the end of the corridor, loaded down with a big fluffy brown teddy bear, more flowers with balloons, and what looked like an overnight bag and a cosmetic case slung over his shoulders. He looked ready to bust with happiness, so much that he glowed with it, as he tried to keep everything together and going forward.

Jack noticed her as he hurried down the hall, dressed in jeans, boots, cowboy hat, and denim shirt. “Hey, Leah! How’re you doin’, sweetie?”

He was so heavy laden that she had to laugh as he tried to hug her unsuccessfully. Every time he reached an arm out he nearly dropped something.

“I’m just fine, Jack. I’ll consider myself hugged, how about that? Grace and your adorable son are waiting for you. You look like you’re busting at the seams with happiness.”