Prologue
Early April…
The soft tones of the heart monitor marked the passing seconds and hours for Leah Woodworth as she sat at Patterson Elder’s bedside. Time was running out. Barring divine intervention, she was about to lose him. Her heart ached with misery and the pain flowed through her veins like molten lava.
Lifting his hand from the bedside, she cupped his warm, callused palm and fingers to her cheek. She remembered when he’d done that recently while smiling down at her with a devilish twinkle in his eyes. She could still hear his voice as he’d teased her and stolen a kiss seconds later.
Come on now, fluff. Resistance is futile. You can’t hold out forever.
She could still feel his lips on hers. He’d tempted her, nearly beyond her ability to withstand his charms and the charms of his brothers, James and Vincent.
Tears rolled down her cheeks and her nose ran as a sob broke from her, but she didn’t care that she must look like a wreck. His handsome face was relaxed and passive in deep, deep sleep. Soon it would be time for the surgical team that was harvesting his organs to arrive. When she walked out of his room, that would be the last time she’d see him alive. When they were done, he would be gone. The scream built in her throat until she had to clamp her hand over her mouth to stop it from welling forth.
The second hand of the clock on the wall kept rolling past the minutes and hours. She tried to read to him but her throat kept closing up as she followed the now-familiar passages of his favorite old Zane Grey novel.
Laying the worn paperback aside, she clasped her fingers with his. “Do something, Patterson. Please wake up. Give me a twitch. Tease me and call me fluff. Anything. I’ll take it, honey.”
The machines continued their mindless cadence around her and she looked up at the clock. The minutes and hours seemed to speed by. Soon they would come and wheel him away. No! Not yet! There’s so much left unsaid!
Her heart pounded and she was filled with such regret. Such guilt, she couldn’t stand it.
Then don’t waste another second, fluff. It’s just you and me. And you already know how I feel about you. Through the tumult she heard his deep, raspy voice and wondered if she was losing her mind. His lips didn’t move and the machines continued their rhythm, marking the inexorable passage of time.
Her voice was shaky and rough as she lifted his hand to her lips and whispered to him. “I love you. I wanted you from the day I met you at the store. Moments before, I’d thought I was about to lose my life and then…there you were kneeling down in front of me with your gorgeous eyes so full of concern. You could’ve knocked me over with a feather, you and James and Vincent. I was stupid to not give in to you. I should’ve trusted you, you charmer.”
A sob escaped as she remembered the way his green eyes twinkled when he teased her, which had been all the time. At least until the day of the accident.
She sniffled. “You big dumbass. What were you thinking? That it was just a short trip? That you wouldn’t need your helmet? You always told me I was hardheaded, but you were the one who wouldn’t listen. Your big, beautiful noggin was hard but not hard enough, was it? If I’d been with you, you would’ve had that stupid helmet on.”
Guilt ripped at her heart as she pressed his hand tighter to her face, praying for movement even though she knew in her heart it wouldn’t come. Slick with her tears, his fingers slid across her cheek as her body shook with sobs. She clung to the precious sound of every beat of his heart and stifled her sobs just so she could hear them on the monitor as the time passed.
The darkness on the other side of the window blinds gradually gave way to the pearly light of dawn. A nurse slipped in to check the machines, gave her a compassionate smile, and left without a word.
Knowing her time with him was nearly over, Leah rose from the chair. She watched the rise and fall of his chest, unsure how she’d find the ability to walk away. Instead she came closer, lifting his hand and putting it across her lap as she took a seat beside him on the bed. The snaps on the hospital gown covering his torso gave easily with each tug until his lightly furred pectorals were revealed. Leaning forward, she rested her cheek over his heart, savoring the thudding lullaby. Beneath the antiseptic smell of the hospital, she detected his unique masculine scent and drew it in so it filled her senses.
He was such a big man and she felt small as she gradually relaxed against him, absorbing his warmth. Closing her eyes, she listened to the rhythmic thump of his heartbeat and whispered, “I don’t understand why this happened, Patterson. I never will. But I’ll always love you. I will remember your smile and the way your eyes would dance. I’ll remember the way you laughed when you tried to kiss me and I wouldn’t let you, and how warm your lips were when you finally did. And I’ll always regret that this is how I found out how perfect it feels to put my head on your chest. I don’t want to give you up. I love you.”