Broken Dreams(185)

“What the hell could that possibly be, Elaina?”

“You know how to fight this! He never bet on you going rouge. He always thought you would be too terrified because of everything he put you through. He believed he had you trapped. But you have risen up. You have taken control of your own self as much as you can. He no longer owns you, Henry. You are your own man, not his anymore. You can control your own destiny now.”

“I depended on Sophie to help me. She has been…was an important role in fighting this. Now it’s just me who is trained, and I have to keep all of you safe. And I have to fight Gunther alone. I’m not sure I’ll make it through that on my own. He’s so much stronger than me, as you know.” I thought of how Kellan ravaged his body, then thought about Gunther kicking his ass at the bar.

“You don’t have to do it alone! You have me, Claire, Nick, and Thomas! We may be a little bit like riff raff, but I think we have done relatively well…considering the circumstances.”

“You don’t have the training, the power.”

“Then teach us. Train us. I will always fight next to you, no matter what. I would die for you, as you would for me.”

“Elaina, I have already put you in too many bad spots. I can’t do that. I can’t burden you.”

“Why?” I put my hands on my hips. “You don’t think we can do it? You don’t think we have it in us? Are we not worthy of the big fucking training secrets?”

“I can’t. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I can’t have anything happen to you.” His voice cracked more than once. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“What would happen if we lost you? You would be leaving us high and dry. We need you to lead us.” I could see him rolling these words in his head, over and over again. He knew I was right, but he would never admit to it. “At least train Nick, for fuck’s sake.”

“He doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me, let alone train for a mission he didn’t ask for.” He turned around and stared out the window. “I screwed him over, Elaina.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

He spun around to face me. “When is something going to be my fucking fault?! I’m the cause of some of this insanity around us! Why do you not understand that?! If I wasn’t such an asshole kid…”

“You weren’t the beginning of this! You are just a part of it. And you will be the one who ends it!”

“As long as I’m half alive, it will never end.” He walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

“Shit…” I said to myself. I ran out of the room and down the stairs. I knew what he was going to do. “So what are you going to do, Henry? Drink yourself into oblivion? You think that’s the answer? You think the answer is at the bottom of that bottle?” He unscrewed the cap of vodka and took a long pull.

“No! But it’ll numb me until I fucking find it!” Again, he took another drink from the bottle he was clutching.

“The only thing you will find at the bottom of that bottle is sickness! What if something happens in the middle of the night tonight and you’re knocked out cold?”

“We can’t live on ‘what if’s’, Elaina. And, besides, if I get completely pissed, then I won’t think, feel, or hear!” He took another long pull from the bottle.

“Henry, please listen to me. Damn it, give me that bottle!” I snatched it right out of his hands as he was bringing it to his lips again. “This isn’t going to help you. When you wake up, everything will still be here. All your feelings, all your emotions, all your pain! It will still be here! Plus a hangover.”

“She’s right.” Claire whispered, startling us. “My parents died in an accident because of my father’s alcoholism.” I was stunned. That was new to me. Wait, was she saying that Henry was an alcoholic?

“Claire… I had no idea.” I was still thinking about whether or not Henry was an alcoholic.

“No one did. He hid it well. Very well. My father was drunk while driving home, my mother was stupid for letting him drive. They crashed into a tree at around eighty miles an hour.” Besides the small obituary that was on the newspaper’s website, that was the first time I had heard anything about Claire’s parent’s death.

“Claire… I’m so sorry.” I grabbed her, pulling her into a hug.

“It’s okay, really. I have been trying to come to terms with it. I haven’t wanted to talk about it because I was too embarrassed. Dr. James, one of the best around, couldn’t even control his drinking.” She pulled away from me. “Henry, I don’t want anything to happen to you. You see, no matter what kind of shit you pulled or shit you are in, Elaina’s love for you is so strong. We can’t sit here and watch you drink yourself into a coma. I love you like family. I want to keep what family I have left around me. I know Elaina wants the same. She would be lost without you.” I saw Henry’s face go from angry to sorrow.