Broken Dreams(184)

Thomas grabbed a bottle of vodka out of one of the boxes, passing it right over to Henry. He removed the cap and lifted the bottle a little. “To Sophie,” he said quietly, before taking a long pull from it. He passed the bottle around, and we all followed suit. When the bottle made it back to Thomas, he nearly put it to his lips when Claire grabbed it from him.

“You aren’t old enough.”

“What does it matter? There ain’t no laws.”

“Maybe not, but I won’t condone drinking at your age, law or no law.” Claire seemed to forget all the parties we went to in high school, but I wasn’t going to bring it up.

“I agree, mate…” Henry said. “Not until you are at least fifteen.”

We all looked at each other and had a good laugh. We needed it. It had been tense between all of us since Sophie’s passing. Thomas sat down on the floor and pouted while he watched us pass the bottle, bypassing him several times.

Henry said, “You know, the first time I got to actually converse with Sophie, she was, quite frankly, off her rocker.” Henry looked down at his boots, while he pushed around the matted, stained carpeting. “The innocence in her pale blue eyes is what drew me to her.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear about his feelings for her because I felt like he was talking about a lost love. I suppose, in a way, he was.

“She was the only girl recruit in our grouping. I felt the need to step up and keep an eye on her. Roger tried to hurt her the first time he laid eyes on her so I had to step up. I won’t tolerate seeing a woman abused after what I saw with my mum.” He took a deep breath. “I hope she knew how much I cared for her, and how much I wanted to help her, even when she was strong. We had a common thread…her pain ran as deep as mine.” He cleared his throat, trying to hold it together.

“Elaina, I know you guys didn’t get off on the right foot, but she was really happy for us. She confessed that she still loved me and hoped that we would have gotten back together, but she knew how much I loved you,” he finished, pausing to look at me. It was a long pause, and I felt the need to say something.

“She told me something like that.” I remembered back to our conversation when she said that Henry never loved her as much as he does me.

“It’s going to be hard for me to move forward without her. Later on, I have some things that I need to take care of for her.” He continued to take sip after sip out of the bottle. I knew “Drunk Henry” was just around the corner. I got up and put my hand on the bottle as he put it to his lips again.

“I’m kind of tired. You want to go to bed? It’s pretty late.” I had to stop the train wreck that was about to happen. His drinking was worrying me. I slowly pulled the bottle out of his hands and capped it.

“Yeah. I guess.” I grabbed his good hand, and led him up to the bedroom. I shut the door, sealing his sorrow in with us. The moon lit the room just enough for me to see Henry’s face. I reached up and stroked his tear-moistened cheeks with my hands.

“What did Claire say about your hand?”

“Probably broken.” Henry paused, and then added in a whisper, “You know, I couldn’t do this without you.”

As I put my arms around his neck, he put his arms around my waist. We swayed a little, as if there were soft music playing around us. He pulled me in tight and rested his forehead against mine. Then he confessed, “If I didn’t have you, I would have put a bullet in my head right next to her.”

Like a flash, I stepped back. “Henry! Don’t say shit like that!”

“What would I have to live for?”

“The cause!”

“Trying to stop this madness?” He laughed. “I’m doubtful I’m the man for the job.”

“No! You can do this. We can do this. I have faith that we can.” He shook his head. “Henry, without you, we would be all dead.”

“Without me, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Don’t do this to yourself again. This is not your fault. You have got to stop blaming yourself for what Roger did.” A look of disgust ran across his face when I said Roger’s name. “This would have happened with or without you. You were an innocent boy. He took advantage of you.” By then, he had let go of me and was running his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth. “You cannot change what happened, but you can change the outcome.”

“My outcome will never fucking change! Why do you not understand that?! And why do you have so much fucking faith in me?!”

“Lower your voice! And don’t you dare get angry with me! I am trying to help you!” I snapped. “And I do understand your personal outcome will never change! Why would you think that I don’t get it?” I stepped closer to him. I poked him in the chest with my finger. “Against all the odds, you are a decent man. I know I have had my share of doubts, but some good has come out of this situation.”