Breaking Even(74)
My brow hits my hairline as I turn to face him. “What does that mean?”
He frowns as he wobbles in his seat. He’s too drunk to speak right, but he’s still sober enough to piss me off.
“Dude, fess up. You’re in love with that girl. You barely keep your hands and eyes off her. I’m surprised, really. She’s so damn sweet. I picture her being with Wren more than you.”
I frown as Brin starts to come back, but her eyes go between me and Ethan before she turns back and starts talking to Tria instead.
“Brin’s awesome, but I’m not in love. You and I haven’t hung out because I’m choosing sex over beer. Sorry. Priorities,” I joke.
I shouldn’t tell him that there have been days where I hung out at my beach home alone, just to keep from running across the street to see Brin. If he knew I had days off from her, he’d expect me to hang out with him, and that would lead to him wanting me to chase women with him. And there’s only one girl I can focus on.
He rolls his eyes. “You’re not choosing sex over beer. You’re choosing her. Just admit it. It’s no big deal; it just sucks to finally be back and suddenly everything is different.”
I don’t like what he’s saying, but when Raya introduces Brin to one of her cousins—her male cousin—I flinch. This party expanded once guys started showing up. Now it’s a houseful of Raya’s friends and family, along with some of Kade’s friends and family. And I don’t like the way this guy is looking at my girl.
“I’m not in love,” I say to him, but I’m reminding myself. Love is complicated, messy, and fucked up. Love is a relentless bind that drowns you and holds you down. Love is the last thing a guy like me can endure, because then it all becomes real and the fun is gone. Love is a bitter, cold-hearted bitch, and I don’t want it. Not to mention, I can’t have it.
“You want another drink?” Ethan asks as he stands.
“Bring the whole bottle,” I murmur numbly. I need to drink this conversation away, because I don’t want to think. Why’d he have to go and ruin this for me?
***
BRIN
“You’re drunk,” I giggle, smiling as Rye dances with me, his grin only growing each time he puts a sloppy kiss on my lips.
Normally drunk guys are annoying, but I love drunk Rye. Then again, I love Rye any way I can have him.
“You’re not drunk enough,” he slurs, picking me up and making me laugh harder as he keeps my feet off the ground.
“I can drive us back,” I say, choosing my words carefully. I almost said home.
“I’m not that drunk,” he says, even as he staggers. “But I’ll let you call a cab.”
People don’t keep secrets when they’re drunk.
I hate to do this, but I can finally ask him what I’ve been dying to know. It may suck, but he’ll be honest without worrying about hurting my feelings.
When he puts me down, I tug at his hand. I stifle a grin when his mischievous smile comes up. I keep tugging at him until we’re outside, and he cages me in against the railing as his lips come down on mine.
“Rye,” I murmur, trying to break the kiss as he works harder to kiss me deeper.
“Don’t ruin it,” he says, confusing me.
“I just want to talk,” I say, pushing against his chest.
“What is there to talk about?” he asks, his lips still battling to get to mine. “I know everything about you. You know everything about me. Let’s just have some fun tonight.”
My heart flutters, and I finally manage to push him back. “I don’t know everything.”
He tilts his head curiously. “I’ve pretty much told you the main points. Even some of the ugly stuff. I don’t want to talk about my mom. If that’s what this is about.”
His mom? What’s he talking about? What ugly stuff?
“What about your mom?”
He shakes his head. “That’s too much. Too dark. Too ugly. I’ve told you everything else. Isn’t that enough?”
His smile has vanished, and he looks to be hurting. I don’t know what’s going on, but I also don’t want to press him on that. Not yet. But I will. When he’s ready.
“You haven’t told me the truth.”
His brow furrows as he studies me. “I’ve never lied to you. Not even when it was something embarrassing you asked.”
In the next breath, I lose my courage. I promised him I wouldn’t do this, and I told myself I’d settle for what I could get. He’s already giving me more than I thought he would.
“You’re right,” I say, and his drunken, sweet grin returns. “Can we go back in?”