Blue Roses(33)

I follow his gaze and look at his legs, while giving myself a lecture.

Tina, just get up from this blanket right now and walk away. No good can come of this! He’s not going to apologize for being a jackweed, and you’re not going to apologize for whatever you did. Because you did nothing wrong. I know that hole in your chest is gaping open, and you want to fill it with something big and tough, like Luca, but you don’t need him. You’ve been just fine without him.

Unaware of my silent freakout, Megan asks Luca if he tried the deep-fried Mars bar.

“I didn’t know that was a real thing,” he says.

“Damn straight,” Megan replies. “I had to share mine with Teenie, so I’ve only had half of one. Hey, I’m getting an idea. The band isn’t starting up for a bit, so how about I go get another deep-fried Mars bar, and you can eat half of it?”

He says, “What if I want a whole one, and I don’t like sharing?”

She gets up on her feet, using my shoulder to steady herself. “That’s a great idea, Luca! I’ll be right back. Teenie, watch my stuff.”

She walks off, leaving me alone with Luca.

I glance over at his face for a second, then look away. By the look of the new beard he’s sporting, it’s possible he hasn’t shaved since the last time we spoke. His wavy brown hair is much longer, too. I get a chill, wondering if he stopped shaving and getting haircuts as of that very night.

He clears his throat. “Tina, I don’t know how to be around you.”

I keep staring straight ahead at the empty band stage.

“Just relax. Stuff happens. Sometimes things don’t work out, because they were wrong to begin with.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” he says.

“Thanks for cheering me up, anyway. I had fun with you, and I’m doing a lot better now. Just so you know, I took all those photos in my house down, and I got some new ones to put up. I’ve got a great picture of my mom, in Italy.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“I’ll probably fly out to see her soon. I got my passport and everything. I’m moving on, exploring the world.”

“Tina.” His voice is deep yet quiet.

I turn to Luca. His face is so damn attractive that it hurts to look directly at him. My eyes are burning. I grit my teeth and hope he doesn’t say anything kind to me. One kind word or heartfelt apology, and I’m going to lose it.

“I never meant to make you feel bad,” he says. “There’s no excuse for how I am sometimes. I should get a bunch of cards printed up, and on every card, it will read: Sorry I’m a jerk.”

I feel myself melting under his gaze.

“You’ll need a lot of those,” I say, acting tough.

“Will a thousand do?” The corner of his mouth quirks up.

A woman approaches and flops down on the blanket next to Luca. “A thousand what?” she asks.

He turns to her and says, “A thousand pre-printed apology cards, just for me.”

The woman has straight, black hair cut in a bob. She’s stunning and petite, with an adorably tiny nose and small ears.

“Apology cards,” she says, laughing as she speaks. “Oh, Luca, what are we going to do with you?”

I sit quietly and watch as they give each other a series of funny looks, as though they’re communicating without words.

I wish Megan would have warned me Luca has a new girlfriend, because I might have been prepared for the murderous feelings I’m having right now.

Sitting next to me in a recycled shopping bag, I have five or six beaded necklaces. Each of them would be perfect for strangling this chick to death.

She reaches across Luca’s legs with her adorable, dainty hand.

She tells me her name, but my head is buzzing with static, and every nerve in my body is telling me to run. I don’t hear a word of what she’s said. I shake her pretty hand and mumble my name with all the grace of a tranquilized bear.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and Megan plunks down beside me.

“I got the last two they had.” She hands one paper plate to Luca. “Want another bite?” she asks me, waving the other one under my nose.

I launch myself forward and lurch to my feet, holding my stomach.

“I don’t feel so good,” I moan to her, avoiding looking at Luca and his girlfriend. “I’m going home now to beat the crowd.”

“You sure?” she asks.

Luca says something as well, but I don’t hear him.

I throw myself into the gathering crowd, and disappear.





Chapter 22





I’m woken from my sleep by a phone call. My eyes are sore, because I got home from the block party and cried in bed.