Bleeding Love(60)

I don’t speak.

“Megan. You can’t give up on him because his job is a little dangerous. It is nothing like Jack. Nothing. Jack was in a war-torn country and you know without me having to detail it that the types of danger over there are nothing that Lee will have to face.”

“I could lose him,” I tell her.

“You won’t,” she states strongly. “You need to talk to him about this.”

I nod my head, but know I most likely will not.

“Promise?”

I nod, but don’t give her the words. If I don’t give her the words then I can keep this to myself until I figure out what to do with it.





“YOU OKAY?” I ASK MEGAN for the tenth time tonight.

She looks up from where she had been watching Molly color on her children’s menu and gives me a weak smile. Not answering verbally, but telling me without a doubt that she is far from okay with just one look.

I glance at Molly, seated in between us at the half circle table before turning back to Megan. “We’re going to talk, darlin’.”

Her eyes close and she nods, but again no words.

“Leelee! Look, I made you!”

I continue to look at Megan and try not to let the worry that she’s holding something back show on my face when I look at Molly.

Molly turns her menu and when I see what she’s drawn, I pull her close and give her a hug.

“Tell me about it?” I ask her.

“Okay! That right there is you,” she says pointing to the blue stick figure. “This is Mommy,” she continues, pointing to the red one. “This is me,” her finger goes to the yellow one. “And this is going to be my baby brother or sister,” she finishes, pointing to the little green dot that I didn’t even notice before.

I fight to keep my body loose and look over at Megan. Her eyes are wet, but she’s holding it back.

“Oh yeah?” I ask Molly, not moving my eyes from Megan.

“Oh yeah,” she says in wonderment her melodious voice sparkling with awe. “Can I have a baby now?” Her eyes don’t leave mine and I have to work even harder now to push down the emotion that threatens my own chest.

“Little bird,” Megan whispers.

“I really want a baby now,” Molly returns her own voice now as hushed as her mother’s.

“That’s not how it works, sweets,” Megan continues.

“But, why?”

I clear my throat and move my eyes from Megan’s pleading ones to Molly’s hopeful ones.

“But you said Leelee is going to stick like gum. You said it. That means if he’s my new daddy, that you and Leelee can give me a baby!”

“Hey,” I butt in when I see how much this is costing Megan. “I’m already stuck like bubblegum, little lady. Stuck so sticky and gooey that I’ll happily be stuck forever. One day, but not now, okay? And Molly, I love you and your mommy, and if one day I’m lucky enough for you to call me daddy, it will stick some more happiness right to my heart with a huge big piece of bubblegum, but I won’t be your new daddy. I’ll be your other daddy.”

“Why?” she asks, her voice still small but her smile big.

“Because you, little lady, already have a daddy and even though he’s not here anymore doesn’t mean he isn’t always with you.”

I look up when I hear Megan sniffle and reach out to grab her hand over the table. Molly lets the subject drop, but even through her continuous chatter throughout dinner, Megan remains quiet and I know whatever was weighing on her mind hasn’t been made any easier.




“Talk to me, Megan,” I demand.

She walks around the couch and sits. I notice, but don’t call her out on it, that she purposely placed her body out of arm’s length.

Ever since Molly’s bomb dropped at dinner, the dark mood she’s carried with her since I arrived at the house has continued. I’ve waited, not wanting to press while Molly was awake, and put on a smile for her sake. But now, Molly is in bed and I’m not putting up with this shit.

“I won’t ask again, darlin’. I haven’t seen you in over a week, a long week with your goodnight calls being the only thing pushing me through, but now that I finally have you where I want you, you’re a million miles away. What gives?”

“Dani’s pregnant,” she says.

“Good for Dani. Good for Cohen. Not that I’m shocked seeing as they can’t keep their hands off each other. Now I know that isn’t what has you walking around with the weight of the world on your shoulders, so what. Is. The. Problem?” I push, my frustration clear as can be in my voice.

“You wear a gun,” she oddly says.