Biker's Baby Girl(11)

My aunt Dee had said it was something I’d done, probably my complaining to him about stuff. But that couldn’t be true because I never complained about anything, not anymore. Not since the beginning when she would convince him that everything I said was a lie.

I’d resented him for that as well, and though it wasn’t in my nature to yell and scream, I’ve wanted to with him a couple times. But always I’d remember his smile and his kindness. That he was the only one in my life who’d ever treated me with true kindness, and my heart would melt.

Besides, I wasn’t that dumb that I didn’t see what was going on. She had him fooled just like she had everyone else. She’d only stopped hitting me because of the one time Creed had noticed a mark and as is his way had asked about it.

She’d slithered her way out of that one too, and though I’d tried to tell him with my eyes that she was lying he’d fallen for her made up story once again. Two days later I’d learned why he’d been so preoccupied. He’d been given orders to go in and bring out his comrades.

The papers had been very vague about the rescue, and of course he wasn’t the only one involved, but they’d hailed him personally. I’d never been so proud in my life, and I’d forgiven him for disappointing me once again where she was concerned.

I’d just always told myself that one day I’ll make him listen to me and then he’d be sorry that he hadn’t all along. But that was when I was young, before the changes.

As time went on I learned to keep my mouth shut and stay out of the way, she’d convinced me that he only listened to her anyway, and that nothing I said bore any weight. It was only as I got older and started hanging around other people that I started to doubt her. But by then there was a sort of rift between him and I. One that I had no idea how to fix.

I knew he couldn’t be the uncaring oaf I’d sometimes come to think of him as. I mean his new thing since leaving the army was saving kids from distressful situations. The local papers from the surrounding towns were full of the stuff he’d been up to since coming home.

Even the online Topix forums were mostly about him some days. That’s where I got my fill of stories about him. It’s also where I learned about his reputation with women.

That one had hurt for days, a physical pain like I’d never known…

“What’s the matter?” Oh shit, I’d groaned out loud and now he was sitting up in bed looking at me. I felt my face heat up as I opened my eyes the rest of the way even though the room was shrouded in darkness. “Nothing, uh, I was just thinking about something.”

He looked at me like he wasn’t sure whether or not to believe me. I can imagine. I’d heard that sound I make before and it usually sounded like I was in horrible pain. No way I was going to tell him the true source of my distress though. He’d probably find a way to put even more distance between us.

I was never sure if he hadn’t caught me mooning over him the last time we’d been together. He’d stayed away for almost three years after that. If he knew how torrid my thoughts were these days concerning him, he’d probably lock me in a convent and throw away the key.

I could still feel his eyes on me like he was gauging the situation to see what if anything he needed to do. That’s the thing about my Creed I always knew he’d protect me no matter what, though I wasn’t sure he’d be in time this last time. I still hadn’t found a way to tell him and he’d shown up anyway. Like magic.

What would he do if he knew? That’s one of the things that bothered me most. On the one hand I reveled in my aunt getting what she deserved if I told him the truth about her treatment of me over the years, and on the other I dreaded his reaction and what it could mean.

I’d read more than just the news reports on him and his motorcycle crew, and some of them had claimed that he was all but tempting the law to lock him away and throw away the key. I didn’t want that at all. And as much as he’d taken her word over the years, I never doubted for a second that if he ever knew the truth he’d go after her.

His eyes were staring back at me in the dark and I held my breath in waiting. Will he roll over and go to sleep? Or will he dig? I didn’t have long to wonder when he sat up and turned on the light. I wasn’t sure I was ready for this. All I wanted was to be away from my home for good, never to return if I could help it. If he gave me that I would forgive him for every time he’d not listened to me.

I sighed as if tired and closed my eyes, feigning sleep. I remembered to slow my breathing like I did when asleep. My heart was about to give me away though because it was beating so fast and so hard I was pretty sure he could hear it from the other bed. I was tempted to open my eyes to see, but I could almost feel his stare.

He hit the light and I breathed that much easier again and felt my muscles relax and my heart calm a little. Better be more careful in the future don’t want to give him any reason at all to have any doubts about taking me home with him.

The thought made my tummy cramp and I was back to feeling lost and alone. I wanted so much to enjoy this time with him, this new experience. But the fear of what came next was almost too much.

What if I mess up really bad this time and he leaves for good this time? What if I do something that makes him think I wasn’t worth the trouble? That’s one of the things aunt Dee had always drilled into my head. How I should be careful, and not whine to him about every little thing.

At the time I believed her judgment that he’d wash his hands of me if I were to do that. He didn’t really owe me anything after all, and she was my blood. He could easily just forget the promise he’d made to a stupid nobody little kid like myself who he didn’t even know.

Could she be right? it was hard to tell because he’d always treated me like I mattered. But he’d been gone for so long this last time I wasn’t sure that there wasn’t some truth to what she’d said. So maybe yeah, maybe I have to be more careful. I was back to being scared again, the sweet feelings that the memories evoked gone again.





Creed



What the fuck noise was that she’d made in her sleep? Sounded like she was severely hurt. She said she was fine but I still kept my eyes on her. That’s how I knew that she’d conned me the first time, she’d never been asleep.

Now I’m a pro at this shit, I did it for a fucking living. It’s one of the ways you survive in the thick of shit. So why would a young girl without a care in the world need to learn how to regulate her breathing to fool anyone that she was out?

The answer had me jackknifing in the bed and hitting the light next to my bed. “Sit up, I know you’re not sleeping.” I hated that fucking wary look she gave me like she was expecting me to hit her or some other foul shit. I studied her bent head for the longest while as I tried to put my thoughts in order.

This wasn’t the easiest fucking thing to discuss for me so I know it was shit for her. But if the fuckery was gonna be fucking with her all night so she can’t sleep, it was best I get the shit over with now. “I want to know about Sal, everything.” My gut twisted and I clenched my fists in preparation for what came next.

Oh yeah he’s fucked. The look that just came into my babygirl’s eyes, said it all. She started to tear up and look distressed, but there was no turning back. “Tell me.” For the first time in her life she shook her head no at me. I didn’t like it, didn’t know I’d have such a strong reaction to it either.

“What?” I tried keeping the sting out of the one word but I did a piss poor job of it. She almost jumped out of her skin but I wasn’t about to apologize. It was best she know now that that shit was a big fucking no-no. “I asked you a question, I expect an answer, don’t ever tell me no again.” Are you trying to help her or scare the fuck out of her asshole?

Funny, I’ve helped my fair share of young girls and some not so young in the years since I’d been stateside. Heard the word no in different variations more than once. I don’t recall ever having this kind of reaction to it. I literally wanted to force the issue, wanted to make her tell me what I wanted to know.

If she could draw that shit out of me for something as little as this, who knows what life was going to be like. I’d probably tan her ass for looking at me sideways. And why the fuck did that shit make my dick hard?

“But you’ll blame me and you’ll leave…” Her voice brought me back from the brink.

“What the fuck?” Is that what she thinks of me? That if she tells me what happened to her that I’d somehow blame her leave her?

Aren’t you the one who left her with them for the past two and a half years, what the fuck do you expect her to think? Fuck, now I’d sworn in front of her, something I never do.

That was a hard fucking blow though, but no more than I deserved. She refused to look at me after that and it was all I could do not to go to her. I wouldn’t risk that shit, not with her being so vulnerable, shit might get out of hand. Instead I asked her to look at me again.

“I’m sorry I gave you the impression that you mean so little to me. I know in the past I listened to others, but that’s only because I didn’t know, I thought…it doesn’t matter what I thought, all that matters is right now.