Beyond Eighteen(94)

I knew that day was going to be my day. I had to believe everything that needed to happen was going to happen. I pulled open my closet and found my most expensive black Armani suit and white Charvet dress shirt. It was going to be a pull out all the stops kind of day. I was going to attempt to convince one of GP’s biggest accounts to not only meet with me today instead of Saturday, but I was going to persuade both Holtz and Glück that staying with GP would be the best business move ever. The hard part was going to be proving that I could be just as committed to GP as my father was. I pulled out my good luck dijon mustard yellow silk tie and slipped it around my collar, untied, before pulling on my jacket and my most expensive pair of dress shoes. Was this what I wanted? Walking around wearing clothes worth more than some people’s entire week of wages? Not really, but I was being forced to play the part. Would I wear something like this to meet with Mr. Langley? Hell, no. But I wasn’t meeting someone who was emotionally tied to GP; I was meeting with corporations that shifted loyalties with quarter profit margins and bottom lines. One thing was for sure, if I lost Holtz Oil and Glück Petroleum right now, it would be a devastating blow, and quite possibly the end of Goldstein Petroleum forever.

I called Dan, Calvin, and Gary, and told them to meet me at the office. I wanted to go over some files before I convinced Holtz and Glück that GP was where they belonged. I looked up at the clock, it was 8:45. Damn! I wanted to call Wilson before I left. I’ll have to call between meetings. Right now I have to save my company from total devastation. Hmmm, my company…I don’t know about how I feel about that yet.

I hustled downstairs and into the kitchen. My mom was shuffling around collecting everything she needed to make herself some coffee. She saw me and pulled another cup from the cupboard.

“Hey, honey, you look handsome. You flying out to see Wilson today?” she asked, her eyes twinkling with anticipation. Her lips pulled into a hopeful smile before she poured two cups of coffee.

“Ahhh, no, not right now. Something came up at GP and I have to take care of it today. This for me?” I pointed to the cup of coffee before snatching the vanilla creamer from the fridge.

I noticed the look on her face. It was the same one she’d give my dad when he would whirlwind around the kitchen before leaving for the office.

“Maxi, we talked about this yesterday. Your brother and Dan can handle Gary for a couple of days. You should be with Wilson, she needs you,” she said as she stirred half and half into her coffee.

“Come on, Mom, don’t should on me this morning. I know, and I haven’t forgotten what we talked about yesterday,” I answered.

“You called me asking for help…Well, this is me helping you. I don’t want to see you make the same mistakes your father made,” she sighed before she took a sip of her coffee. Her words covered me like honey and suddenly I wasn’t moving with the same intention as before.

“Mistakes? Dad didn’t make mistakes,” I stated.

“Oh, sure he did. He was young and ambitious, willing to sacrifice to make GP the best company it could be. You know, your father was just about your age when your grandfather started grooming him to take over GP. He wasn’t much older than you when your grandfather became sick and had to retire, leaving your father in the same predicament that you’re in now.” She took another sip from the coffee mug she had clutched between both hands. She leaned back against the counter, ready to tell me whatever I was willing to ask.

“Yeah, but Grandpa was still alive and was able to help Dad,” I mumbled.

“Not really, Maxi, your grandfather had a stroke. It was months before he was able to talk again. So your father had to do everything. That was the hardest couple of years of our marriage. Long days at the office, meetings, and emergency business trips every other week. I was left on my own…a lot. I was a new mom, at home with a toddler and seven months pregnant…with you.” She set down her coffee, snatched my tie, and started to flip, tuck, and tie it.

“Your father loved his family. We were the most important thing in his life, and even though he was gone a lot, his commitment to giving us the best life he could was his legacy. Maxi, you don’t have to make that your legacy. If what you told me yesterday is true, and Wilson is the one, then learn from your father’s mistakes. Learn to balance your life with your career. GP will survive, it always has. What you have with that girl…make that your legacy.”

“Ma…I—”

She held up her hand to stop me. “Maxi, do what you feel is right. I’m just telling you how I felt when I was your age. We go through life, fearing the judgment of others because of the choices we’ve made, and when you reach my age, you look back and wonder what the hell were you afraid of. I’ve lived a lifetime with the choices your father and I have made. Stop worrying about the judgment of others and start living your life for yourself. In the end, the only thing that will matter is that you did what was in your heart,” she said. Her eyes glistened and her lips quivered. The muscles in her cheeks struggled to pull her mouth into a smile as she tapped her hand across my chest, right where my heart was both breaking and pounding at the same time.