Beyond Broken(70)

He left a voicemail. "Luke, I need you to call me. I need to talk to Kate." He sent a text for good measure and then paced in his office as he waited for a reply.

When he fucked up, he fucked up badly.

All he could think was that Maddie was innocent. Pure. Good.

Just as he feared, he'd tainted her.





TWENTY-FIVE





Maddie didn't stay at home the next morning like she expected to. The moment she'd woken up, her mind replayed, in painstaking detail, the events of the previous night and she knew, right off the bat, that she wouldn't be able to sit on her couch all day and mope and cry. She'd gotten a good amount of tears out of her system the night before, her eyes still a bit bloodshot and puffy because of it, but she felt surprisingly calm.



       
         
       
        

She was wary of that calmness though. It felt like a facade. It wasn't real. And sooner or later, it would be wiped away and she was afraid of what might be uncovered underneath.

Maddie went about her day as usual. She got up, showered, ate, and went to campus, where she locked herself up in the library and applied to five different museum internship programs that she needed to complete for credits. She briefly debated calling Christie to see if she knew of any programs, since the blonde worked as an assistant curator in a well-known art gallery. She might have connections in the museum sector. But then she remembered that Christie was one of Caleb's friends-or at least, her boyfriend was-and thought better of it.

Diligently, she tried not to think of him too much. Every now and again, a stray thought would creep in like slow molasses, but then she threw herself into another task.

When she finally pulled out her phone around three o' clock in the afternoon, she was surprised how many missed calls and texts she had. One call and voicemail was from her mother, whom she'd called the day before but missed.

"Hi sweetie, it's me," started the voicemail. "Just checking in. Why don't you come over this weekend sometime so we can catch up? I feel like it's been ages since I saw you last and I'll make your favorite, okay? Love you and I hope you have a good day."

Maddie smiled, her mom's voice a comfort she desperately needed, at least until the next voicemail started.

"We need to talk, Maddie," started a deep, familiar voice that sent shivers down her spine. "Call me back."

Her first thought: how in the world had he'd gotten her number? But then she remembered that she'd given it to Kate and Caleb must've hunted her down for it.

Maddie looked around the library, half-expecting to see him there. She was in a secluded corner with only a few students at separate desks dotted here and there. The silence was almost oppressive, but Maddie liked it. It felt like a cocoon; she felt safe.

When she noticed people looking at her, she flushed and turned down the volume on her phone, wondering if they could hear Caleb's voice over the line. When she pressed her phone to her ear again, she found another voicemail from him, which came in late last night, only a couple hours after the first. "Maddie, please call me back. I need to explain what happened."

Maddie looked down at the table in front of her. The space between her thighs still twinged uncomfortably whenever she shifted a certain way, a constant reminder of what happened. Caleb didn't need to explain anything to her. She didn't even know if she wanted to see him again, after what happened. He'd made her feel worthless, something to be used and then discarded. Even worse, she felt disappointed in herself. She'd always prided herself on the fact that she wanted to wait for the right guy … only to throw her virginity at the first man who'd have her. 

What I feel for you scares me, he'd told her.

And she'd fallen for it. Hook, line, and sinker. A sour taste rose in the back of her throat.

She checked her text messages next. There were a few from Kyra, asking her about her day yesterday and telling her about the date she'd had the night before. Maddie made a mental note to call her later this evening once she finished in the library. Another text was from Paul, saying that he was looking forward to their date tomorrow. Biting her lip, she realized that she'd almost completely forgotten about it. She'd need to call him later to postpone. There was no way she'd be able to go through with it now. Not in this state.

Another text was from her brother, telling her that he was going over to their mom's house over the weekend as well and that he'd see her there. Her fingers hovered over the screen, wondering if she should tell him that she'd found Caleb after all these years. Surely, he'd want to know. In the end, she decided against it.