Between You and Me(56)

He looked at his mother across the table. This amazing woman had given  him everything she had, his entire life. He hoped to return the favor up  to her last breath. His brother wasn't around, and likely wouldn't come  until she was literally on her deathbed to say goodbye. She needed  Logan's strength now. She didn't need his anguish or fear, she needed  his rock-solid support, and she'd get it.                       
       
           



       

Tess threw back her gorgeous head and laughed at something Annmarie  said. She didn't need to know he loved her. She had very specific needs  where he was concerned. The lines had blurred in that he'd never counted  on their becoming such good friends. Some moments, it felt like a true  partnership in every sense of the word. He knew she cared about him, and  he thought she knew he cared about her. But he had to remember her  ultimate goal was independence, standing on her own once she had her  baby . . . and to love and respect her enough to give her that.

He could do this. He could make his time with both of them meaningful.  He could have that much. It would wreck him on the other end, but at  least he'd have good memories to hold on to, and with the knowledge that  he'd made the days with them count.

Tess threw him a sideways glance, asking without words if he was okay.  He grinned softly and winked at her in response. He could do this. He  had to.

* * *

Later that afternoon, after a few rounds of poker and Annmarie had dozed  off on the couch, Logan helped Tess on with her coat. "Thanks again for  coming over," he said. "She really enjoys spending time with you. And  the cookies were a nice touch."

"Hey, she ate half a bowl of stew," Tess said as they walked to the door. "She wanted those cookies."

"Nah, she did that for you."

"I don't care why she did it, I'm just glad she did." She touched his  face and dropped her voice to a whisper. "She still seems okay, honey.  She's . . . she's not dying tomorrow, you know? You still have some time  with her."

"Yes, I do." He couldn't help himself, he leaned in to brush his lips against hers. "Thanks for caring."

"Of course I care." She stared up at him. "I care very much."

He couldn't bear it. So he took her mouth with some slow, sumptuous kisses. "I missed kissing you," he confessed in a whisper.

"Definitely my favorite perk of the deal," she said with a grin.

That made something squeeze in his chest. The deal. They were together  only because of the deal. Scary how often he forgot that. He pulled  back.

"I wanted to tell you something this whole time, but not in front of  Annmarie." She pulled him farther away, almost right up to the door. Her  eyes lit up with excitement. "Um . . . my period was due two days ago.  And I haven't gotten it."

His eyes flew wide as they locked on her. "Whoa. That's . . . do you think . . . ?"

"I don't know," she said, "but fingers crossed." She practically bounced  on her toes as she added, "I'm giving it another couple of days, and  when I'm a full week late, I'll take a test."

"I . . . wow. You really think it could've happened that fast?"

"Why not?" she said with a dazzling smile. "We certainly had enough sex  at the right times, all month. See? This is why the home method is so  much better than a clinical setting." She slid her arms around his waist  and held. "I can't lie, I'm really, really hopeful. I'm never late, so .  . ."

"That'd be wonderful," he murmured against her hair. He hugged her  tight, even as the searing feeling in his chest spread to his limbs. "My  fingers are crossed for you too." Jesus. She could be pregnant. A flare  of primal masculine pride burst deep inside him. He'd gotten her  pregnant, she might be already carrying his baby . . . no. No, her baby.  This was her baby and hers alone. He had to rein it in.

"I was wondering . . ." Tess pulled back to look up into his face.  "Eventually, I'll start showing . . . Once I'm pregnant, are you going  to tell your mother about the baby?"

He huffed out a heavy sigh and scrubbed his hand over his face, then  dropped his voice to a whisper. "Yeah, but . . . I'll have to figure out  how. I don't ever want her to know we were lying to her. It'd do much  more harm than good. I'll . . . I'll figure it out."

"It's totally your call, of course," Tess said. "Whatever you want to  do. I just was thinking . . . that maybe it'd be great for her to have  some happy news. She always wanted this for you, right? Well, what if it  made her want to start fighting again?" She gnawed on her lip, a  heart-wrenching gesture of sudden and unusual uncertainty. "I don't mean  to sound insensitive. You always hear stories like that, how people  hold on . . . I just thought . . ."                       
       
           



       

"I appreciate the thought," he said. "I know what you're trying to say.  But yes, when"-he made sure to emphasize with sureness-"not if, but when  you get pregnant, because if you're not now, we'll try again in March,  and as long as it takes . . . When you are, I will tell her. She'll be  over the moon about it." Even though his mother was sleeping in the next  room, he still kept his voice at a low murmur to add, "She never needs  to know about the deal, or the papers I signed, any of that."

"Right, of course not. As for our ‘relationship' . . . we'll just keep  it going as long as she's . . . As long as we need to." Tess's gaze  sobered a bit. "I keep my promises, Logan. I'll be your girlfriend and  play this out as long as necessary. I . . . I want her happy too. She's  come to mean a lot to me. I also don't ever want her to find out about  our arrangement. We'll work out the my-being-in-New-York part and the  baby part as they come. Okay?"

He stared down at her. She had no idea what her words meant to him. She  had no idea he was already crazy in love with her. So much so, in fact,  that for the first time ever, the thought of having a baby didn't feel  like a noose around his neck. It didn't feel like something he could  possibly lose, and another loss that would destroy him. His and Tess's  baby . . . It felt like sweetness and love, and even something like hope  for the future instead.

Oh God, he was so supremely fucked. He really was.

He caressed her soft cheek, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and managed to whisper gruffly, "Sounds good to me."





Chapter Twenty-Two

A week later, Tess walked into her house in an idyllic daze. The  appointment with Dr. Fuller had confirmed it: She was indeed pregnant.  It was very early, but her biggest dream had come true. She'd have a  baby of her own to love. She wouldn't be alone anymore. She'd have her  own family.

Overcome with another burst of elation, she spun around in a little  pirouette in the middle of her living room, arms open wide, and whooped  with pure joy. Bubbles came running, barking and prancing in little  circles at Tess's feet. Laughing, she bent over to scoop up her dog and  hug her. After, she wrapped her arms around her middle and stared down  at her still flat belly. Her breath caught and her eyes stung with happy  tears. A baby.

God, she had so much to do. People to call, plans to make . . . Well,  she couldn't really do some of that until she was safely out of the  first trimester, and this baby wouldn't arrive until sometime around  Thanksgiving, which seemed both light-years away and too soon when there  was so much to do to get ready.

But she knew who had to be the very first to know. And she wanted to see  the look on his face when she shared the news. Hey Thor, she texted.  Can you come over as soon as possible? Need to see you. I'm fine, don't  worry.

Logan's text came back immediately. Sure you're okay?



Swear it. But come over ASAP.

Finishing up here. Just on the other side of the mountain. Give me half an hour.





Great, she texted back. See you soon.

Bubbles barked and jumped at her feet, the familiar dance of need.

"You gotta go, Bubs? Come on, sweetie." Tess took her outside for a few  minutes, then went to the kitchen to change the water in Bubbles's bowl.  She sat on the couch as she made a call to her ob-gyn's office back in  New York and stared out the enormous glass wall at the picturesque  scenery beyond, her beloved mountaintop view. Damn, she'd miss that view  when she went home.

And it hit her: She'd be leaving sooner than planned now . . . and she  didn't want to. The thought of not seeing Logan regularly made her heart  twist in her chest. She wanted to tell him how she felt. She wanted to  proclaim her love for him, shout it from the rooftop . . . but he'd pull  away from her. He wanted to be alone; he'd made that clear from the  start.