Best Women's Erotica(31)

But we were talking about porn. And my boyfriend. And other men’s cocks. Most straight porn is focused on the big-busted babe, but the scenes I like best are the ones where you can’t see the faces of the actors, just the penetration. We tried watching animated porn once, but it didn’t do much for either of us. We both wanted to see a real cock in action or it seemed sort of pointless. This is why “reality” porn worked just fine for us. Who cares about the bad acting and dumb dialogue in porn movies? What we get off on is watching two real live humans fucking.

Peter started to make comments while we were watching, like, “Do you think that guy’s arm gets tired when he jerks off?” and, “I hear they like to hire short actors with big cocks so that their cocks will look even bigger.” I would just murmur agreement, maybe stroking his own schlong while we watched. But I noticed a pattern in the films he was downloading. We were seeing more and more of the Long Dong Silver and Freakishly Big Dicks In Action type of films.

All I can say is there are some amazing specimens of humanity out there. You figure if a guy has a cock that hangs almost to his knees, in the back of his head he’s wondering if he might be able to make a good living from his asset, no? Other guys must notice it at the beach and in the gym, right? How hard is it to get an audition with a porn studio, I wonder? Do the actresses get paid more to do scenes with them? In my head I imagined a pay scale based on the inches, or maybe the volume, like stunt men getting paid more for the more dangerous stunts.

Yes, these are the things that went through my head while watching a woman who looked like a ballerina with beach balls on her chest take a schlong the size of a Genoa salami between the legs. And yes, it made me hot—and curious. The next day, while Peter was at work, I started researching pay scales in porn films. I wasn’t surprised to learn that the women get paid more than the men, and that a woman who will do anal sex gets more than a woman who won’t.

Then Peter started downloading gay porn. The first one was supposedly an “accident.” You know, he pulled it off a torrent site and didn’t know what it was, but once we started watching it we noticed two things. First off, the guys are actually good-looking, and secondly, there are double the number of cocks. Score! Neither of us missed the beach-ball-busted babes, and the ass was as good as the pussy for those close-up penetration shots.

But it got really serious the night we were watching one of these gay videos that had a kind of rapey theme; you know, where the one guy is reluctant and the other one isn’t? The whole thing was in Hungarian so it was hard to figure out exactly what was going on, but the one guy lay the other one down and then rubbed his cock all over the other guy’s cock, like giving him a hand job, only it was a cock job.

Peter was tugging on his own salami while we were watching this scene, and he came without warning. He sounded pretty surprised himself, a kind of wordless jumble coming out of his mouth like, “Whu-gub-bahhh-uhhh?” as he shot all over his stomach. I was kind of not pleased with that, since I had been getting close to putting the laptop down at that point, but it was so damn funny at the same time I just ended up laughing. And besides, it didn’t even take an hour for him to get it up again.

While we were fucking, I asked, “If I had a cock, would you want me to rub you off with it until you came?”

“Fuck, yeah,” he said, but while we’re fucking is a totally unfair time for me to ask him questions, because so often that tends to be the answer. You know, like, “Hey, will you rake the leaves in the back tomorrow?”

“Mm, fuck, yeah…”

So I had to ask him again a couple of days later, when we weren’t horny, to see what he’d say. We were making dinner at the time. “Do you want me to get a strap-on?” I asked.

“A what?” It took him a minute to get what I’d said out of context. “Oh, you mean like a dildo?”

“Yeah. You know, so we can try the cock-to-cock thing.”

“Oh.” He stopped stirring the sauteing onions for a moment while he thought about it. “Eh, I’m not sure. It’s like the animation thing.”

“You want a Hundred-Percent-Real Cock™, is that it?” I teased.

“Er, well, um.” He blushed and the onions began to caramelize. “Don’t you think that’s kind of too gay for me?”

Peter and I have been together more than ten years. When we first met I’d thought he might be bi and in denial. Ten years later…I was sure of it. But you know how skittish guys can be. Now, I could have just said, “But it turns you on. What’s wrong with that?” Or, “There’s no such thing as too gay or too straight.” Or, “I think having lived with your girlfriend for a decade has kind of saved up your ‘nongay’ points.”