Before the Dawn(55)

Yes.

She waited a moment, and when he didn't reply, Dawn gave a little shrug. "I thought we'd come back to each other."

He had to strain in order to hear her words.

She cleared her throat and spoke again. This time, her voice was stronger. "I missed you, so much, over the years."

His heart nearly stopped.

"I thought about you. I wished that I'd been stronger before...that I'd held on tighter to you. But I was afraid back then." Her head tilted back and she stared into his eyes. "When we were together tonight, I wasn't holding anything back from you. I stopped being afraid, but I don't think you did."

"Dawn..." He wanted to pull her into his arms. To hold her tight and never let go.


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"You were the one holding back tonight. You kept secrets before, and I didn't even realize it. You're doing it again." Her lips twisted down. "Do you know why?"

His fists were clenched so tightly they ached. Because I want to protect you. Because I hate it when you look at me with so much pain. Because I still-

"You don't trust me."

Shock pushed through him. "That's not it. There's no way I don't-"

"You don't think I'm strong enough to handle whatever it is that you're holding back from me." Anger sparked in her eyes, gleaming. A light flush coated her cheeks. "Just like you didn't think I was strong enough to handle your past before. You were abused. You were hurt. And you didn't tell me. You lied to me when I asked you about your scars."

"Because I didn't want that part of my life touching you." She'd been so perfect and pure. The best thing he'd had in his life, and he hadn't wanted her tainted.

But Jason had been determined to taint everything.

She gave a laugh. No, a sob. Shit, he didn't know-the sound was a twisted combination of a laugh and a sob as she yanked her shirt to the side, revealing the roses on her shoulder. "Guess what, Tucker? That part of your life did more than touch me."

His back teeth clenched.

"It touched me. It marked me. It changed me forever. I could have handled your secrets before. I would have understood about your past-I loved you then."

Then. Not now. Of course she didn't love him now. Too much time had passed, too much pain and-

"And I thought you might love me."

He sucked in a sharp breath.

"But without trust, there isn't love. There can't be. You held your secrets tight. You're still holding them tight, and I can't make you share them with me. No matter how hard I try, I just can't make you do that." She turned away from him and reached for the door to her room.

He grabbed her. An instinct. Can't let her go. His fingers curled around her shoulder and he held her, too tight. "You don't want my past. I don't want it touching you." Why couldn't she see that truth? He hadn't told her before because she'd been so fucking perfect and good.

She'd always been too good for him. He'd known that. But he hadn't been able to stay away from her. Not then. Not now. 

"I wanted you touching me." She looked back at him. "I wanted you."

"Dawn..."

"No secrets. That's what I need. And that's what you can't give to me." She swallowed. The little click was painful to hear. "Let me go now. I need...I need to be away from you now."

Those words pierced straight to his soul.

And he let her go. After all, there was nothing in the world he wouldn't do for Dawn. She slipped into her room. She shut the door behind her.

She left him.

Left him alone with the monster that waited inside of him.

Baby, I can't tell you everything. You'll never want to see me. Never want to touch me. There are some secrets I have to take to my grave.

* * *

HER PHONE WAS VIBRATING. Dawn cracked open one eyelid and glared at the nightstand. She'd managed to sleep-finally. And her dreams had been nightmares. Horrible, twisted scenes of Tucker being hurt. Of Tucker...

Hurting others.

God, she was so messed up. Her hand shot out and she grabbed the phone. A text had just come through. One from Malone.

Must talk to you immediately about Jinx. Come to Voodoo Tats.

Jinx. She sat up, cradling the phone. Reality slammed into her. Her friend was in a morgue now. Julia would have worked on her-or she would be working on her, depending on how long it took the body to thaw.

Oh, God. She had to thaw out Jinx's body.

Her eyes squeezed shut and she almost wished for the nightmares again. Because at least in those twisted dreams, she-

Her phone vibrated again.

Waiting at the shop. Hurry.