Before Jamaica Lane (On Dublin Street #3)(95)

        

I flinched, my expression shuttering.

I didn't really want to talk about the fact that while my heart was breaking Nate was out there getting over me by getting other women under him.

'I didn't sleep with her,' he hurried to assure me, his words almost desperate. 'Liv, I haven't been with another woman since you.'

Snorting, I casually took a sip of my coffee even though I felt anything but casual about our conversation. 'Right,' I muttered sardonically, setting my cup back on its saucer.

'I would never lie to you about that.'

At his hard, indignant tone I looked up at his face and found he was angry. I raised an eyebrow at his expression. 'You're mad because I don't believe you? Really, Nate? I asked you point-blank if you were in love with me, you said no, and now weeks later you're saying yes. And you wonder why I'm struggling to believe a word you say?'

For a moment I thought he wasn't going to answer. Clearly attempting to keep his impatience in check, Nate exhaled heavily before replying. 'That night was the only night I've ever lied to you. More than that, I was lying to myself. I didn't want to fall for you. You, more than anyone, know that. But I did. And I'm man enough to admit that it scared the absolute shit out of me. It still does.' He reached for me, his hand resting gently on my knee as his eyes bored into mine. 'There's been no one since you because I don't want anyone else. You've ruined me for anyone else.' His hand coasted lightly up my thigh, and unfortunately that mere touch elicited a hundred memories of sensual caresses. Lust must have flared in my eyes, because I saw Nate's gaze sharpen as he caught it. 'I miss you, babe. I miss everything about you.' His fingers started tracing circles on my leg and I felt trapped, unable to move as my body began to hum with the memories. Nate's eyes darkened with heat as they scanned down my body and back up to my lips. 'I miss your mouth,' he confessed hoarsely. 'I miss your tongue. I miss the feel of it against mine. I miss the feel of it on my skin.' He leaned in even closer so all I could see and smell was him. 'I miss your mouth wrapped around my cock.'

My breath left me, blood rushing in my ears as his words cast a sexual spell over me.

His fingers continued to draw their lazy pattern on my thigh. 'I miss your breasts, Liv, and the feel and taste of your nipples. I miss the way they pucker up for me, for my thumb, for my tongue  …  and how me just touching your tits makes you so fucking wet.' He groaned at the thought and his hand suddenly tightened over my thigh. 'I miss that. You drenched and hot and tight around me as I pump into you. The feel of your nails digging into my back, your thighs gripping me tight, your eyes on mine.' 

I think I whimpered.

Nate's eyes flared. 'You screaming my name as you come around my cock. I miss that most of all.'

Breathless, I gazed into his eyes, my cheeks flushed, my breathing unsteady. I couldn't believe he'd said all that to me in public. I couldn't believe my body's reaction.

His hand smoothed over my thigh. 'If I slipped my hand between your legs right now, I'd find you wet, wouldn't I, babe? I'd find you as wet as I am hard.'

I sucked in my breath, trying to clear my desire-fogged brain.

Somehow, somewhere, I found the strength to push his hand off my leg. Trembling, I reached for my bag. 'Sex  …  it isn't love.'

'For Christ's sake, I know that.' Nate grabbed my wrist, stopping my flight. 'Don't walk away, Liv. You walk away now  …  it's about pointless stubbornness.'

Anger engulfed me and I ripped my hand away from him. 'You left me,' I growled. 'You treated me no better than one of your random hookups, and suddenly because you've decided that no, wait, you do love me, I'm to come running back?' I stood up, my chair clattering behind me with the force of the movement. 'Your words are nice in the moment. But at the end of the day it means fuck all. I don't trust you with your own feelings, Nate. Why the hell would I trust you with mine?'

Before he could say a word I hurried out of there, my throat choked with the tears I held back the entire walk home. It had taken an enormous amount of strength to walk away from Nate. A strength I hadn't even known I had.





26


Even though I felt like Ben had left me to the slaughter, I was also flattered that he was concerned enough to want me to call him when I got home. However, when I did call him I was surprised to hear what he had to say.

'You're that couple,' he told me softly.

'What couple?' I snapped.

'That couple who are a couple even when they're not being a couple.'

'You spent five seconds with us,' I argued.

'Yeah, and it was enough to know that you and Nate aren't over. You're unresolved, and until you know whether or not you're going to go back to him, I think I'm less likely to get hurt if I stay completely out of the cross fire. Look, I really do like you, Olivia, so if I'm wrong and you decide he isn't for you, give me a call.'