Becoming Calder(67)

For the next hour, I sat silently, tortured inside, while Calder kneeled in front of me, blood pooling until it ran off the metal and onto the marble floor of the stage as if in slow motion, the blood falling drip by drip, echoing through the room during moments of silence. Hector preached on, quoting mostly from his own Holy Book about selfishness and Satan and those who commit sin. I heard only a few words here and there as I said my own prayers to the gods to be merciful, to send strength to Calder, to make the time pass more quickly for him.

Once we're out of here . . . once we're safe, I said to Calder in my mind, I'm going to look at the scars that will surely be on your knees and your legs, remembering the bravery you showed while the wounds were forming, and I'm NOT going to feel sadness. I'm going to feel only one thing. Pride.

When I came back to myself, Hector was saying the final prayer, the crowd speaking it along with him. I looked around at the people and saw many of them were looking uncomfortably toward Calder as the blood rolled slowly across the marble floor. I looked at the men—some of them much bigger and stronger than Hector. This is wrong, and not one of you is doing anything, I thought. Not one.

I found Calder's family in the group and saw his father and mother looking solemnly ahead while Maya's face was turned into her father’s chest.

I found Xander in the group and a look of blatant hatred was on his face as he stared at Hector. I caught his eye, his expression gentled very slightly, and he nodded his head once as if to say, "We have a plan. Hold tight."

Hector finally turned to Calder. "You may rise, Water Bearer." He looked down at the blood. "The gods believed you needed an extra harsh punishment for your crimes. And who are we to argue with them?" He looked around at the crowd, apparently no one believing they were anyone to argue with them.

"But blood stops running eventually and wounds heal. If you have learned from your actions, then the physical pain was worthwhile. Was it worthwhile, Water Bearer?"

"Yes, Father," Calder said in a strong, unwavering voice.

Hector paused. "Very well. You may rise and face your family. Please offer them an apology."

Calder remained unmoving for a minute, finally leaning forward and putting his palms on the floor before lifting one knee and then the other, each one sticking briefly before he pulled his broken flesh loose. I saw agony cross his features before he again schooled his expression and stood slowly, unbending each leg. My eyes, locked on his face until then, moved down to his knees and I brought my hands up to my mouth, so not to cry out. The flesh was broken and mangled as if each metal bump on the mat had been filed down until each one was a piece of raw, jagged metal. Small rivulets of blood ran from each wound. Calder stood to his full height and turned to face everyone.

"I offer you my apologies for my selfish behavior and I'm sorry you had to endure what happened here today. I'll be considering my actions as I sit in jail."

"Now turn and offer the council an apology as well," Hector instructed.

Calder turned slowly. I didn't look at his legs again. I looked only at his face. He didn't look at me. His eyes were on Clive Richter as he said, "I offer you my apologies, and regret my need to prove that some people in this world are made stronger than others. My actions were purely selfish."

Clive narrowed his eyes, but remained silent. Hector waved his arm indicating the council should begin the exit of the Temple. We each stood up and filed out. I kept my head raised high, not making eye contact with anyone as we exited the building.

I looked back once as I climbed up into the carriage that brought Hector and me to and from Temple each week and saw Calder walking up the aisle, his lower legs a blur of red, looking straight ahead as I had done.



**********



I spent the rest of the day in my room, sitting grief stricken on my bed. What was Calder feeling right now? Were they mending his legs, or was he sitting alone, bloody, and uncared for? I didn't know how I could bear the not knowing, but guilt filled me at the thought alone. Calder was the one who was suffering.

An hour or so before dinner, there was a soft knock on my door and I stood up to answer it. It was Hailey.

"Are you okay?" she asked, taking my hand in hers as we sat down on my bed.

I couldn't help it. Tears came to my eyes and I shook my head, no.

"I see the way you look at him, Eden. Everyone does."

My face crumbled and I blurted out, "I love him, Hailey. I'm in love with him." I hadn't thought about saying it, but Hailey's comforting face made a spear of neediness lance down my spine. I was desperate for someone to talk to.

Hailey's face paled. "Oh, Eden. How could you? How could you let this happen?"