Becoming Calder(34)

I moved away a little farther and Eden rolled her eyes. "You don't have to be afraid of me, Calder. Friends, remember? And actually, I've been up in my room thinking about it these past few rainy days and you're right. It's better this way. Not just for the community as a whole, but for me, too. I've been too fixated on you these past few years. Silly, really. I mean, think of all the things I could have been teaching myself if I had had a different focus. There's knowledge everywhere! And instead, I've been wasting time staring at your muscles." She laughed. I frowned.

"Well, I wouldn't call it a complete waste of time," I muttered.

Eden laughed again, but then went serious. The swell of her breasts was just barely showing over the surface of the water. "No, but really . . ." She swirled her arm across the water, causing it to ripple. I watched as the ripples moved away from her, reaching toward me as if she meant to span the distance between us, using the water as an extension of her. When the first small wave hit my naked belly, I almost groaned as if it was her hand stroking my skin. Oh for the love of the gods, what's wrong with me? "When the rain hit my window, it fogged up. I remembered your lesson about the states of matter, and I was able to figure out the window fogged because of the different temperature of the glass on the inside and the outside." Her eyes lit up, like she had just solved the mystery of the universe. I couldn't help but smile.

"And music," she continued. "It's all numbers. I don't know why Hector never taught me math. I could have been an even better piano player than I am."

Her eyes widened. "Last night I snuck down to the kitchen and read through some recipes. There's lots of math in those, too . . . some you still have to teach me." She laughed softly, puckering her lips and taking water into her mouth again and then spitting it out. I groaned softly, but she didn't appear to hear. "Anyway, my point is, you taught me a couple things, and I was able to apply them to other things. And now I want more. I want to learn everything you have to teach me. And I want to teach myself as much as possible." She looked thoughtful for a minute. "It's a sort of freedom for me, Calder. And maybe that's hard to understand. But . . . most of my life, I've had so many questions and no answers. And now . . . well, I might not have all the answers, but I have a few, and my life feels fuller. And I can carry all that knowledge inside me and no one else can ever take it. It's mine. It belongs to me." She lowered her eyes briefly and then raised them back to mine. "Thank you."

I stared at her. She was captivating, amazing. And gods help me, the seed of love that had taken root, the seed I had vowed not to nourish, started to grow anyway. I swore I could feel the velvety tendrils moving through me, wrapping around the vital parts of who I was. I was helpless to stop it. She had invaded me. I was the field and she was the morning glory. I had been overtaken. Just like that. Or maybe not just like that. Maybe it had been growing for years. But in that moment, I recognized it for what it was.

She isn't yours, I whispered harshly to myself. But something inside rebelled against the words, as if the thought itself was a virus to my system.

Still, I didn't have to act on my feelings, my attraction. I had sacrificed before in one way or another. I could certainly do it now.

"Calder? Are you okay?" My eyes focused on Eden and she was looking at me strangely. "Are you well?"

"Uhh . . ." I cleared my throat, feeling shell-shocked, off-balance. "Yes, I'm fine. So, uh, speaking of all the knowledge you need to soak up, what should we get started on today?"

"Oh. Okay. But first, ask me my multiplication tables."

"Oh, uh, seven times seve—"

"Forty-nine."

I laughed softly. "Okay, nine times eigh—"

"Seventy-two."

I laughed louder, not being able to help the grin that spread over my face. "You pass."

"No, really, I know them all."

"I believe you."

"I just don't want you to think that your time's being wasted here."

"I don't think that, Eden, not even close."

We stared at each other across the water for a few seconds. Finally, she looked away and said, "All right. Well, my basic math is coming along. How about we just practice some swimming today?"

I thought that might be a decent idea, considering it was a bad time for me to get out of the water right at the moment.

Eden looked down for a minute and seemed to be contemplating something.

"What is it?" I asked.

She looked up, worrying her bottom lip. "Do you think . . . well, do you think when the great flood comes, there'll be any chance of survival?"