Because You Exist(22)

We were going home.

But we would never get our childhood back again.





Chapter 13





When I came to I was lying on the locker room floor. I didn’t have time to ponder how many germs I would probably pick up laying on the floor where thirty teenage males sweated and spit five days a week. Instead, I closed my eyes and felt the cold tile underneath my hands, and I wanted to cry at the familiarity of it all. This was a world I understood. This was a world where I felt in control. That other world, the future that belonged to every person I saw and spoke to on a daily basis, would never make sense to me.

I had just watched a man die.

A man Josephine had killed.

Josephine.

At the thought of the girl who saved my life, a girl who scared the living crap out of me, I scrambled to my feet. I quickly splashed some water on my face and made sure no trace of post-shift blood was left under my nose. Without wasting another second, I ran out of the locker room.

I had no intention of returning to football practice.

One dark. One light.

I was beginning to understand exactly what that meant. It meant that Josephine and I were partnered for a reason. Even despite our differences. Maybe because of our differences. Considering her capacity to kill, I knew I needed Josephine to survive the future world, and she needed me to survive this one.

I ran as fast as I could to the school’s main building. I was still covered in the dirt and sweat from my experiences in bizarro land. I suspected the same held true for Josephine. Which meant she was more than likely drenched in the blood of the man she killed, and she didn’t have her hoodie to cover up. While most of the school liked to imagine Scary Carrie bathed herself in blood every night, it would be a little hard for her to explain walking out of the school bathroom in a track uniform covered in blood that didn’t belong to her.

That wasn’t the only reason I ran to find her. I remembered the tears that fell down her cheeks. Something in her shattered when she killed that man. I was glad she felt something. If she could have killed him without feeling anything, I don’t know what I would’ve done.

I had my hand on the bathroom door when I realized I didn’t have anything to cover Josephine up with either. I was still in my practice jersey and having Josephine walk around in that didn’t seem too evasive either. There were still a lot of students and teachers around for after school activities, and the sight of her wearing my clothes would really make the rumors start to fly. I turned around and ran into the gym where I knew the cheerleaders were practicing.

I was taking a risk.

But I trusted Jenna to trust me. To know I loved her. To understand no one would mean anything to me besides her. Because I knew how this would look.

When I finally reached Jenna I had to catch my breath before I was able to speak. As I put my hands on my knees and struggled for normalcy, Jenna sauntered over to me with a grin.

“Just couldn’t wait to see me. Could you? I’m starting to think you might be addicted to me.” Jenna was using her fake snob voice. She had picked it up from watching hours and hours of Gossip Girl and every version of Bring It On that ever existed. There’s a lot boyfriends will put up with to get a little action.

“I...I need...I need your sweatshirt,” I stammered.

Jenna’s grin faded. “Are you all right? What are you really doing here, Logan? Coach is going to kill you.” Coach was going to kill me. Jenna was smart enough to know my football schedule, and also know that missing a single minute of it would mean suicide runs all week.

I took a deep breath. “I need your sweatshirt. Well, Scary Carrie does. I can’t explain right now. I just need it, Jenna.”

Without a word Jenna turned from me and went to retrieve her sweatshirt.

I was running out of time. I could just feel it. Would Josephine know I was coming for her? I couldn’t see her thinking well enough of me to think that I would.

“Is Josephine all right?” she asked, handing me the sweatshirt.

That wasn’t a question I could answer. “I’ll call you later,” I replied, and gave Jenna a quick kiss on the cheek.

I didn’t bother calling out to see if anyone was in the girls bathroom before I entered it. I figured if there were someone in there the whole school would be crawling with police by now.

“Josephine,” I called out. My voice sounded desperate. Part of me needed her to be able to keep it together until we got out of here, but there was another part of me that needed to see proof again that she felt something over the man’s death. This was real life. Not a movie. I needed her to understand consequences.

I need there to still be consequences.

The door to one of the bathroom stalls slowly opened and Josephine stepped out. I almost lost it at the sight of her. Her face was once again a mask of indifference. Her hair was wildly out of place. Dirt covered her arms; her tank top covered with blood.